Hold On or Let Go? Ride the Wave or Get Pulled Under?

As we enter into the season of fall, are you going to hold onto what you have done in the past or let go and flow with what’s happening now? (Yes, fall finally showed up here in Florida.) I think it’s so easy to miss the beauty of autumn when we stress about the upcoming holidays. I know it’s only October but I already hear people talking about how the holidays are almost here with dread in their voices. We’re also seeing some pretty scary stuff that’s going on around us and in the world. However, despite what we may perceive as negative, there are emerging pockets of real change. If you stop for a minute and look around or pause to think about it, do you see them? I remind myself of that as I feel the cooler temperatures; you can see it in the changing colors of the leaves.

As I remember they are brilliant in color and then they fall off the trees, dead . . . ultimately allowing the tree to hibernate until spring brings new growth. It really reminds me of letting go, waiting . . . and then allowing something wonderful and new to emerge.

We can’t change the outside world, but we can do something for ourselves. Right now breathe in the fall fragrances or look out the window at the changes going on in nature. As we enter this “harvest” time, think of what you have accomplished this year. It doesn’t matter how big or small or where this shows up in you life. Just focus on what you have created that’s positive. Now, most importantly, let what isn’t serving you “go” rather than be pulled down by it. Look for new opportunities within your family and at work. Allow fall to progress into winter more easily and differently than last year.

Things are changing and if we are more fluid and move with the waves of change we won’t get pulled underneath, but float on top instead. Remember it’s what you think and where you put your focus that matters. It’s your choice!

Learning to ride the waves of change with more ease,

Bonnie

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Sleep on the Job?

Can you imagine sleeping on the job? The “old me” would have had a startled response followed by a flood of guilt if either my boss tapped me on the shoulder or I woke up in my home office alone. Then I would wonder how much time I had just lost and how could I let that happen.

But let’s move forward in time and switch gears for a moment. I know when I’m on the right path, messages indicating I’m going in the right direction pop up in the most unlikely places.  My clients and those who know me are well aware of how important I believe it is just taking a few quiet moments to refresh, recharge and refocus so those new ideas can come through. That’s why I created The Virtual Spa, serenitypathways.com, a short 3-8 minute “pause” in the chaos of the outside.

So for the second time in the past month I have read or heard from different studies that pausing-sleeping for 10 minutes “on the job” makes a difference in your performance. On Good Morning America, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/JobClub/ Tory Johnson spoke about the research of sleeping on the job for 10-20 minutes. The research shows that 65% of the work force population has trouble organizing, performance issues and difficulty concentrating around 2 o’clock in the afternoon. This concept isn’t embraced in the majority of companies yet, but now you know how important that 10 minute pause in your day can be.

If you can’t sleep, at lease hit the pause button for 10 minutes.  Close your eyes, take a walk, listen to some quiet music or take a quick nap.   I can hear some of you, your friends or co workers now!  “I don’t want to wait while someone sleeps” or “I’m losing time!” Be forewarned, that is “old paradigm thinking” and many will continue to think that way but be less productive. The new wave in surviving what we have to do in a day is the short break or the short nap that opens up the door to many more possibilities.

Here’s to the pausing and napping,
Bonnie
PS I couldn’t find those dream masks Tory Johnson showed on GMA if you find them please post.
PPS Post your “pause” stories and inspire others!

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Hit the Pause Button And See What Happens

Who knew after a lot of work the “pause” in our normal routine would be so refreshing. We had our (now after three years) “normal” company for Labor Day weekend.  To get ready we  did more than usual.  You know how it is and what you think you have to do when you have six additional people coming to your house to stay for 4 days!  This summer was odd; we had not done as much work outside as we usually do, so we did more than the usual weekly clean up in preparation. With the rain and rapid growth on the outside there was a lot to be done!  Plus we decided to paint one of the bedrooms.

Although it’s still very hot here in Florida, I knew that after this weekend I’d want to get back into work without thinking about changing my house into fall. (Yes, I am one who likes to decorate for the seasons down to my couch pillows.)  So I did that too!

The weekend turned out to be a much bigger “pause” in our normal routines than I had thought it would be.  We all had so much fun together and in small groups.   The planning paid off so it didn’t feel like we had to work at all for everyone to feel comfortable. It seemed like a luxury to spend that much time relaxing and just having fun!  I am always amazed at the magic of taking a real break – a pause from everything else.  I’m the Queen of mini pauses and quick breaks but every once in awhile taking a big pause really refreshes.  I didn’t worry about what I had to do this week or what I wasn’t doing. I know that’s the key!  Things moved with ease and my week has fallen into place easily!

Try hitting  the “pause” button!  Take a quick pause and work up to the longer ones. Don’t forget to hit the pause button on the “what I have to do” thoughts too!!!

Post your favorite way to pause,

Bonnie

PS If you want to hear more about “the magic of the pause button” tune in on Tuesday, September 14 at 6:00 PM ET to blogtalkradio.com/lea-yekutiel.  If you can’t make it, the recording will be there. There are other great shows to list with wonderful guests, too.

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Are You Normal?

Do you ever wonder what “normal” is? And is there really “a normal”? I was talking to my Mom and she and her friends were talking about the effects in business of the “new normal”. My question to you is what does normal mean? When I was doing IQ testing we knew what the range of “normal intelligence” was, however even within that range everyone’s profile was different. So what does normal really mean? You could have “normal intelligence” but have a terrible time reading because you have learning disabilities. So if you have learning disabilities, you aren’t normal anymore? Or you can have normal intelligence but be a gifted genius at playing a musical instrument. So how is that “normal”? Am I abnormal because I can’t play the piano well? (I’m sure my friends and family don’t think I’m normal but it’s not because I can’t play the piano.) So the idea of a “new normal” gets very complicated.

Here are just a few of the “new normals”…

  • You break off a relationship by texting instead of doing it in person
  • When buying new sheets instead of just choosing by color, you choose by thread count
  • In Real Estate, transactions are not regular sales, they’re frequently “short sales”
  • Instead of staying in the corporate world, droves of people are now entrepreneurs
  • When making a new friend you don’t get a phone number, you Facebook them
  • Adult children aren’t living on their own, they are moving back “home”
  • Instead of “normal” TV, they have expanded and enhanced HD
  • The Dow Jones Average goes down more than it’s up
  • You don’t write checks, you pay bills on line

Is any of this “normal” or even customary? Maybe…maybe not. I think it’s more about change and then about choice. How do you participate in those which you can’t change, and which do you want to participate in? I just bought a new set of sheets and I love the new normal of sheet buying. That thread count is great in helping me decide which sheets I want to purchase. Now the economic new normal, I would love to be able to choose something different. How do you handle that; it’s out of your control. So do you spend a lot of time continually complaining and worrying? Yes, you could do that. But my thought is the same as before… what really is “normal” and is this about a change that is needed but not so easy to navigate?

Are you “normal” and thinking some of these “new normals” don’t seem so wonderful? Sometimes during change the transition seems chaotic. What do you do? You can buy into “new normal” because no amount of complaining will bring back the “old normal”. Or you can decide how you want to respond to these “new normals”. Remember, what used to be is gone.

So what’s best for you? A great idea is to take a quick pause, look deep inside, turn up the volume on your inner voice and see how to choose a way to handle these changes. With all the “new normals” there’s so much variety in how you respond… what you do… and how you let it affect you. Don’t forget, there’s still room for you to choose. If you really want to get someone’s cell phone number instead of becoming a Facebook friend, no one is stopping you. Part of what makes each of us unique is that none of us is “normal”. We are unique individuals. So you can choose! Don’t forget, part of the key is in how you react to the “new normal”. I know it’s easy to forget and get caught in the undertow of all the changes happening. I think each day brings a “new normal”. I have decided just to get on the ride because not getting on requires way too much energy. And remember the pause that refreshes: Take a moment and go inside and ask, “What works the best for me?” I love the new set of sheets I just bought. I love the “new normal’ of thread counts.

Definitely not normal, what fun would that be,

Bonnie

P.S. Post your thoughts on what you see as a “new normal”.

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Is Your Contact List a Key to Your Success?

What if your contact list was the key to your success?  I was having dinner with my friend Karen  just last night and we were talking about how important being on purpose and feeling successful was.  How that contributes to who we are, how we relate to our friends and family, and overall how we feel.

Karen remembered at her last corporate job, when people were still using a Rolodex, that  she made a Rolodex  “success card “. Then she  filed it under S. When she was flipping through looking for a contact sometimes it would unexpectedly pop up, uplift her  and remind her to make positive choices to keep her on the path to success.  Or if she had achieved her success, she just paused and felt grateful. Of course most of us now have contact lists on our computers and smart phones.  So, how cool would it be when you were looking for a contact you saw your success statement come up in your contact list?

When I am done with writing this blog I am going to follow the steps I have written below for myself.

Write your success statement and put into your contact list on your computer or phone.  Some suggestions below.

  • Under S – I am successful when…
  • Under F - When I am successful I feel…

You could add to that and add your own

  • Under J – I feel joyful today.
  • Under M - It’s okay to be me.
  • Under  P - I am on purpose today!

Have some fun with this. Here’s to your contact list bringing you success,

Bonnie

PS. If you still have a Rolodex you can actually make  Rolodex card f or yourself.

PPS. What we focus on grows!

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Held Hostage by Your Thoughts

“Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round and round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much.”
http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

woman with hands tied“Have you been so focused on something that it seems to occupy your entire brain? Then there seems like there’s no room in your head for any other ideas or thoughts? Are you feeling a bit uptight or worried about how to do what you need to do accomplish? Do these thoughts keep you up or wake you up at night? Do you find it’s hard to concentrate on other things? You may even find yourself drifting off during other conversations. You’re mind is full trying to figure out how to get what you need done, how to come up with ideas for a new project or how to arrange your fall schedule balancing work and the responsibilities of your family. If you said yes to most of these questions above you’re being held hostage by your thoughts. When you are held hostage you don’t have the freedom to explore other ideas and opportunities, only the same old ones that are right there in front of your face. So how do you break out of the cycle of repetitive thoughts or worries that keep you confined? As I have been very focused on expanding my business, I have noticed it has helped letting go of the worry about how it will totally unfold. Giving myself freedom from worry by taking breaks and focusing on other things has helped me notice and be aware of new ideas. This morning I realized I needed to write my ezine. Even though I wanted to start on it, I just didn’t feel inspired. I noticed when I opened up my computer that the many icons on my desktop were blocking the picture on my screen. I took a short break from thinking about my ezine and re-arranged the ions and cleaned up the desktop. Next, I opened up my email and I took the time read the Daily Om (I don’t always read them). The answer came to me quickly on what to write about! These short “breaks” from my brain in hostage-mode about the ezine gave me the perfect validation for how I had been working on my business and gave me idea for this blog.

In this Daily Om they suggest you give yourself a gift – you probably guessed it – to step away from your worry or project. Doing this “lessens the load“. I know what you’re thinking. The problem will still be there, I still have to figure this out. That’s true, however, what comes from stepping back is the gift of answers you are looking for as you create the space to hear or see them. Your body relaxes and your mind is more open and receptive. No one is saying to ignore the deadline or not take care of your responsibilities – just take a break.

One blogger on Daily Om said it so well, “It is around 1:41 am. I am wide awake as thoughts at what happened at my office today are driving me crazy. I get up and switch on my computer, enter my email address and password. There I am looking at this Daily OM email: Taking a Break from What You are Doing. Terrific. Exactly what I needed and exactly at the right moment. I read it and am amazed. Suddenly I feel less tense. There is a sense that the Universe is communicating with me and is trying to help me.” ~ http://www.dailyom.com

The idea is to give yourself a mini vacation from the planning or the worry. “By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us”. http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

3 Steps to Release the Hostage to Get the Gifts

  • Consciously take a mind vacation from your project or worries (even if it’s just on the way to the car or a trip to the bathroom). Just switch the station on your thoughts – think of something else or something you love or enjoy
  • Take a mini yoga break, walk, read a book, switch to another activity and monitor your thoughts on “vacation mode” from the project or worries
  • Put your focus on what you are doing when you are in the shower, shaving or drying your hair or and watch the creative ideas pour in

Free and on a thought-vacation at least for a little while,
Bonnie

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Are You Burning Up?

In some places it’s hot enough to cook and burn an egg on the pavement! Looking at the weather map, this heat blankets our entire country. So I’m sure you’re feeling it.

My question to you is:  Are you adding to the hot external temperatures by turning on the heat and burning up from the inside without realizing it?

Are you Turning Up the Heat from the Inside
3 Questions

Are you pushing on despite the heat – and it being summertime – and ignoring the message to slow down so you can cool down?

Are you ready for the kids to go back to school and yet dread fall, instead of being in the moment and creating joyful times and memories?

Are you saying later, later for a few minutes of quiet solitude that would cool down your body and mind?

How to Turn Down the Heat
3 Ideas

Consider letting one thing go and know that it’s taken care of or will be later. Everything isn’t a priority and doesn’t have to be done right now. Breathe deeply, let go of the nagging voice and know with conviction that doing this will make your life easier.

There are always positive moments in the worst of situations. Are you just tired and need a moment of peace? (see the next idea) Find those positive moments and focus on them. This will change your perception and feelings and turn down the inner heat and agitation. Remember to look for positive changes inside yourself and those around you.

Take advantage of how your body works. Research says women are wired for being able to de-stress more easily than men. However, the chemicals in your body support you in de-stressing more quickly when you take time for yourself. Pick up a novel and read for 15 or 20 minutes! Close the door, put your feet up and do nothing – just focus on breathing (novel idea). Pour yourself a cool drink (a great smoothie or a flavored ice tea) and just take time to drink it – alone! And, most importantly look for those thoughts that heat you up and cool them down by letting them go.

Turn down the heat and stay cool,
Bonnie

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Are You Being Controlled by Invisible Forces?

blue vortexI felt invisible forces around as I visited with friends and family during my time in New York while staying with my Mom as she was recuperating from surgery. I noticed certain people seemed to be controlled by something no one could see. Some people were very focused on what was “wrong”. What was wrong with… you can name it: the church, politics, who was donating money to the wrong cause, what some friend’s and family member’s teenagers were doing (no, don’t ask) and more! It was also fascinating to watch and listen to how each person reacted as the conversations continued. It may have seemed to a casual observer that some people were bystanders rather than being in the drama of the conversation. However, if you listened closely, those people were compassionate but had a lack of judgment. So what invisible force was leading them by the hand?

Why such a big difference in people’s ability to perceive and react in such different ways? The obvious answer is: our beliefs. However, I was reminded about a question in a recent study group I attended. The question was: how are our beliefs influenced? Think about this for a moment. Have you ever been in a stadium when someone starts “the wave” and all of a sudden everyone in the stadium of thousands is moving? It’s an energetic connection that happens as the person next to you starts moving. The same is true when you’re on a project and everything just falls into place. There’s an invisible connection that occurs from one person to the next, and it’s not a thinking or talking experience once it has been set in motion. And it’s not an accident or coincidence. The intentions and thoughts create an energetic field of connection between each person or event.

Quantum scientists refer to this connection as a “morphic field.” You can liken this to a blueprint connected to whatever the focus is. The blueprint is fluid, moving and growing or not. There’s a “field” connected to politics, a field connected to disease, a field connected to religion, and a field connected to a party you are planning to have – just to name a few. There is NO judgment to the field itself; it’s just a collection of energy. For a moment, think back over the last few years. Have you felt worried or scared after you heard the news or talked with your friends about the economy? There is a “field” surrounding our economy and many times it’s a field of fear. When you tap into that field you may feel uneasy or think that things will never get better. Just a few more examples: there is a field of connections or morphic fields around prayer, God, sports, or the TV show So You Think You Can Dance.

What field are you in? When you feel an emotion or pinpoint a belief, ask yourself “Is this me?” Is this a commonly held belief in society? Is it from how I was raised? Are these my true feelings? Do I want to keep what I believe or let it go? Let go of what isn’t yours!

When we were discussing this in our study group the question was asked about the old saying “better safe than sorry”. I asked myself what percentage of that belief is from society. What is from my family? What percent left is mine? I let go of the society and family energy. A very small portion was my own perception of this saying, which to me meant being safe not sorry is living with limitations. I want to live without limiting myself from the many possibilities available to me. Yet others brought up that keeping their belief was a good thing for them because it kept them from doing dangerous things. Most importantly, just check in with yourself and see where the belief is coming from – from others or is it truly your own. You can decide either way if it’s worth keeping or changing. Wouldn’t you hate to think you were really controlled by outside invisible forces rather than making choices yourself?

Let go of what isn’t yours, have fun and enjoy the rest of the summer,
Bonnie

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Can’t Do It All?

Just a  thought to take the pressure off yourself today. There is no way you can do it all. There is just no way! So what do you do?
Let go of:

  • Perfectionism-this is self abuse
  • I shoulds
  • What will people think
  • Thinking if you don’t do things they will go to ……

Instead go inside and ask?

  • What’s really important today?
  • How can I play or have fun?
  • How can I be gentler on myself?
  • What can I let go of today?

Today and this weekend find time to play.
Remember what The Cat in Hat said,
Don’t let this day….
Go without play….
(just kidding about the Cat in the Hat but he would say that :) ) Bonnie

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Shake It Up to Clear it Up


I remember as a child loving to watch bubbles for fun, I would shake the water (and soda) or stir it with my straw in a clear glass. I didn’t mind a little “shaking up” — it didn’t happen that often then as it does now. I’d watch the bubbles disappear and the liquid become as clear as the glass container it was in. It was like the bubbles were never there and it had never been shaken up at all. Was the water or soda exactly the same after that? Probably not. Although I could see the bubbles were gone, I knew the mixture was different than it was before the “shake up” even if we couldn’t taste the difference.

More Water Shake Ups

Every morning I listen to a brief part of GMA on the TV and get the updates on the devastating disaster in the Gulf. I feel sad and worried. But, I believe it’s time to shake up and change up how we are thinking about this water situation. I know there’s a lot of finger pointing at who’s to blame and what isn’t being done to remedy the situation. It’s easy to blame and equally easy to feel helpless. I think it’s time to shake up our thoughts about this situation. We all have a responsibility in this. Many of us in varying degrees have had a focus on keeping our lives the same. In not believing we have the time to think about or support looking for or utilize more natural resources. In keeping our eyes on the money, material outcomes and how change might affect us. The oil spill has happened. Many times it takes a shake-up for change to happen. As individuals, how can we promote a positive change? If you want to do something that will make a difference for you and for the Gulf, then shake up your old thoughts, emotions and fears… and try something new! These words are from Masaru Emoto who has conducted experiments on the effects of thoughts and words on formation of water crystals. Thoughts can change the structure of water. Emoto has suggested that we say this Hawaiian healing prayer of forgiveness in regard to the Gulf situation. Take a moment right now by reading this with the intention of positive change.

“Now let’s give the energy of love and gratitude to all the living creatures in the Gulf of Mexico by praying like this:

To whales, dolphins, pelicans, fishes, shellfishes, planktons, corals, algae
and all creatures of The Gulf of Mexico
(you could also add all harmed by this)
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.”

I have received this prayer from several different people. I leave it out and say it during the day when I see it (it’s on my printer) and at mealtime.

With gratitude, love and forgiveness,
Bonnie
PS What relationship would you like to change- your relationship with someone or something? Go into your heart think of the situation and say the same 4 phrase above.

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