Serenity Pathways

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What if your contact list was the key to your success?  I was having dinner with my friend Karen  just last night and we were talking about how important being on purpose and feeling successful was.  How that contributes to who we are, how we relate to our friends and family, and overall how we feel.

Karen remembered at her last corporate job, when people were still using a Rolodex, that  she made a Rolodex  “success card “. Then she  filed it under S. When she was flipping through looking for a contact sometimes it would unexpectedly pop up, uplift her  and remind her to make positive choices to keep her on the path to success.  Or if she had achieved her success, she just paused and felt grateful. Of course most of us now have contact lists on our computers and smart phones.  So, how cool would it be when you were looking for a contact you saw your success statement come up in your contact list?

When I am done with writing this blog I am going to follow the steps I have written below for myself.

Write your success statement and put into your contact list on your computer or phone.  Some suggestions below.

• Under S – I am successful when…

• Under F - When I am successful I feel…

You could add to that and add your own

• Under J – I feel joyful today.

• Under M - It’s okay to be me.

• Under  P - I am on purpose today!

Have some fun with this. Here’s to your contact list bringing you success,

Bonnie

PS. If you still have a Rolodex you can actually make  Rolodex card f or yourself.

PPS. What we focus on grows!

Just a  thought to take the pressure off yourself today. There is no way you can do it all. There is just no way! So what do you do?
Let go of:

• Perfectionism-this is self abuse

• I shoulds

• What will people think

• Thinking if you don’t do things they will go to ……

Instead go inside and ask?

• What’s really important today?

• How can I play or have fun?

• How can I be gentler on myself?

• What can I let go of today?

Today and this weekend find time to play.
Remember what The Cat in Hat said,
Don’t let this day….
Go without play….
(just kidding about the Cat in the Hat but he would say that ) Bonnie

My husband and I rode on a wave of  fun and relaxation during Memorial Day weekend. We marveled at how great it was. I think it’s one of the first three-day weekends we relaxed being at home and not on vacation.  We relaxed and had fun all three days. It was fantastic! So, I really wanted to share with you what we noticed afterward during our “work week”.

Although there was some irritability and anxiety  in air at my two-day contract job, I noticed that it didn’t affect me as much.  It was easier to stay light and unburdened in an uncertain working situation.  Although I stay pretty balanced, the uncertainty of what’s going on can and does affect me at times. I also noticed it was easier for me to support others to observe, without judgment, and really look at where some of the unrest was stemming from.  It was even easier to explain how to shift the focus to the appreciative side of things.

As you know, with change there can also be drama. Everyday there seemed to be something to set everyone off.  You have to admit there are times we all feed on the “drama” of a situation.  So to lighten things up a bit, I suggested we consider the idea that we’re playing a kid’s game of “gossip”.   Yes, it was much easier and more fun when we looked at what was happening in that light!  So we looked at the “rumors”  as part of the game.  The rumors  weren’t the truth (which is the Truth). When we can relax into what is going on with our own stories and opinions or with other people’s stories and opinions, we’re not coloring our world into one of negativity. Life can then take on  a more light and playful flavor.  Playing the game of gossip took the pressure and the sting out of what will happen in the future…because we truly don’t know what will happen for awhile yet.

Each day we played  “gossip” and asked each other what the latest game had for us today. We actually laughed! I felt lighter and not as tired at the end of the day. My co-workers seemed lighter also.

The tension bubble  popped.  And, letting go of  the tension is what’s important for our bodies and our minds. The truth is we don’t live in the past or the future . We know we only have the present moment. (I know at times  our minds struggle with the thought of staying in the present, being in the flow and at the same time open to the the cues that guide us to move forward.)

On the other front, my husband was noticeably lighter and more optimistic than before the weekend. He seemed more committed to certain things that had been eluding him in the past.  And I heard him whistle – a sure sign that all is well in his world.

Research tells us the importance of play and taking daily time-out on our stress levels, health, and happiness. But, I strongly suggest you do your own research.  The carryover effect is one you’ll be sure to notice. Relax into relaxing, it’s much more productive than you may think. !

So put your feet up and relax into relaxing,

Bonnie

P.S .What do you notice when you relax or take a time-out? What do you do to relax? Or how do you take some quiet time for yourself? How are you different afterward?  Post any of the answers to any of the questions and share with our readers.

Just for fun I wanted to send you to some sites that will provide you playful ideas to develop your fun factor. The only rule is no laughing or smiling.

Fun activities for kids

www.discoverfun.com/freeinfo/500fun/childlike.html

Fun things to do

http://stress.about.com/od/funandgames/tp/hobby.htm

Have fun,
Bonnie

Ugly Duckling or Swan?

Who thought swans would be the refresher with a message? After going to the dentist, I decided I needed to recharge my batteries and enjoy a bit of nature before my next coaching session. I stopped by a nearby park with a lake and a lovely view. I found a towel in the car. (I had my husband’s car so I didn’t have my beach chair in the trunk.) It was one of the beautiful days of spring before the heat of our Florida summer. I thought it would be lovely to just sit and enjoy some peace and quiet.

As I headed to a familiar part of the park, I heard the laughing and playful voices of children, many children. I love the sounds of children’s voices but after hearing drilling at the dentist I just wanted quiet. I headed towards the other end of lake. As I sat down on my little towel, my attention was caught by the swans. At this lake you can rent swan boats and you usually see swans, but the swans I saw first were in pairs and they were black! I had never seen black swans before. Maybe I just live a sheltered life. Who knows? They were a beautiful sight.

I enjoyed the swans that, on this particular day, were traversing the water in pairs. Two pairs of black swans and next a pair of swans with black necks and white bodies both perfectly matched. Then finally I saw the white swans. It was lovely to watch them gracefully float on the water. I have never seen birds so gracefully catch and swallow fish. Although I only stayed a short while, I felt a welling up in my heart of joy, just watching the ease and loveliness of the swans.

As many of you know animals can be symbols and represent certain ideas. I thought about the traditional ugly duckling story that recognizes they are a beautiful swan. That is a wonderful metaphor for our ability to really recognize when we accept ourselves we become ‘beautiful” and graceful because we aren’t trying to be something we aren’t. Being yourself is much easier. I also wanted to know more so I looked up the animal message of swans. So here they are: “begin to realize your own true beauty”. Then I looked up black swan: “represents love, both self love and romantic love, happiness in yourself, the healing power of love and miracles”.

I think the message is obvious but maybe not. You choose – no one else does. Are you an ugly duckling or a swan? Be your authentic self without hesitation. Your journey will be easier and more graceful. Remember the healing power of love and look for miracles.

Remember the message of the swans,

Bonnie

Did you know you can use your five senses to de-stress this holiday? Yes, you really can! How many times have you heard “Don’t focus on the material world…. there is more here than you can see?” I certainly have found that thought to be true.

I believe it’s important to look beyond what’s in front of you.  I also believe there is a lot to be said for using all your senses. One of the most fun and powerful ways to reduce anxiety about all you have to do is to use your five senses of smell, taste, hearing, touch and sight to take time in the moment.  Appreciate what you’re doing right now….yes,  savor what you doing. It may sound silly,  but savoring isn’t just for the enjoyment of food.  I have found (as many others have found in research studies) that savoring really works to enhance your sense of wellbeing and to reduce stress.   I love savoring because you can do it anywhere, any any time and with anything. Savoring is simply gratitude in the moment.

When you use your five senses to really take in and pay attention to what you’re doing and what is around you your sense of peace expands and stress starts to dissolve even during the super busy times. When you savor it frees you up from the “thought struggle” and worry about you have to do next.  Savoring keeps your left brain happy and content with “doing”. You can’t run a to-do list in your head and savor at the same time. Savoring allows your right brain the free space for relaxation or creativity to seep in resulting in surprising possibilities.  Savoring fills your holidays with joyful, precious times and a full treasure chest of the gems of beautiful memories.

As I get ready to take out the boxes for the holiday decorations, I remember even the process can be savored. When I stayed focused and savored the job of decorating last year, time seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was finished; sitting, enjoying the transformation.  Savoring really helped me enjoy the process of decorating ……….not to just enjoy the results.

As I take bring in the holiday decorations this year, I will be smiling instead of dreading it. (I no longer focus on how much work it is or how much I still have to do.)  Any feelings of stress will slip away as I savor and enjoy new emotions surfacing this year. Yes, you guessed it.  I will be feeling gratitude and contentment.

12 Easy Savoring Tips for Less Stress and More Joy

• Take in the colorful sights in the grocery store and look for smiling faces
• Stop for a moment to feast your eyes on the sights of your creations
• Really be in the moment and appreciate the changes around you
• Notice the small details while you are involved in a task
• Look for moments to enjoy the sounds of laughter; watch for moments of joy
• Fill yourself up with the sounds and music of the season
• In the malls look deeper than the commercialism and notice the kindness around
• Make your shopping experience one you like. Savor your gift choices. Focus on the joy of your gift recipient
• Give your full attention when you spend time with your family and friends
• Help your children make a game out of whatever they have to do
• Focus on the positive and savor every moment of harmony
• Relax and savor just a few minutes of pure peace and quiet to rejuvenate yourself

(yes, you can find those few moments) Visit the spa at SerenityPathways.com

Savoring lifts your mood and protects your health. Savoring helps erase the hassled and rushed feelings we often have during the holiday season.

Small, bite-size… simple… quiet (despite the masses) … clean and elegant was my impression after traveling to Japan with my daughter last week. I loved being immersed in the local culture so different from ours here in the States.

On the subways, despite all the travelers, it was silent except a few quiet conversations. There was a strict rule, no audible cell phone talking or phones ringing. You have to put your cell phone on vibrate or quiet mode. This information was posted with the next stop information on the flashing panel, in Japanese and English, on most trains.

It was humorous to watch these quiet, respectful people texting, yes, but the bigger event was watching them play games on their phones. Games were certainly the popular choice on many neon-colored, large homogeneous-looking big screen phones.  There was still a large collection of  people on our subway rides, which were many, quietly sitting or “napping” and with only a few quiet conversations.  Who knows what they were saying since my daughter and I don’t speak Japanese. Only once during the entire week did we hear anyone raise their voice anywhere we traveled.

Even at temples, stores, markets, subways, and down streets crowded with people, it was much quieter than you would expect. During the entire trip, it continued to amaze me, despite the close quarters and hundreds and hundreds of people, how quiet it was. I also enjoyed the spotlessly clean streets, bathrooms, and subways.  (Just a side note, not everywhere was quiet. When we were in one of many arcades that Japan features it was definitely NOT quiet.)

The Japanese people radiated a sense of peace with their respect to others and quiet. They were always saying thank you and many times bowing to you with a smile. (I now know the word thank you in Japanese.) That’s how they treat everyone.  I know we drew attention with our blond hair, light skin and odd-looking clothing and shoes. Japan is country with few Europeans or Americans. We laughed as, a few times, very young children pointed us out to their mothers.  However, we were always treated with respect and kindness.

The Japanese seem to know how to take those quiet moments despite small, very crowded spaces and a very busy environment. In our Japanese business hotel each morning a breakfast area would magically appear in the lobby. While eating rice cakes and unidentified vegetables (I couldn’t eat the soup at 7 AM) I noticed again how quiet the crowded room was as we ate. Once again, there were a few conversation but they were soft and quiet.  It was rather amazing. I know a few years ago I found some articles that reported some Japanese companies were creating “quiet rooms” (with pillows and couches) and play rooms to give their employees a “stress  break.”

3 Simple Tips Japanese style for inner calm and peace

• Remember to say thank you from your heart and bow (inside) to every person you interact with each day. (Watch what happens!)
• Create quiet spaces for yourself during the day.  Turn off your radio, ipod and just be quiet  wherever you are.
• Be respectful using your cell phone, both ringing and talking. (Does everyone want to hear your side of the story?)

Although it’s hard to tell that fall is upon us in Florida, if you take a moment you can feel the change. It’s subtle, but it’s there.

After a wonderful Labor Day with family and friends my “fall change” started. Usually the subtle changes in the weather are what alert me to get warmer clothes out of the back closet.

Do you ever forget to change your clothes with the change of seasons? Of course not. When you take them out might vary, but you eventually take them out.

However, have you ever ignored the subtle hints for a “seasonal change” and, because of the unfamiliarity brought on by the change, “fall”-en into a hole of despair? Of course, everyone does at one time or another.

As surprising as it seems, when change happens there isn’t a hole at all; it’s just uncharted and unknown territory.  It’s our story about the change that brings the “fall” rather than enjoying all that change has to offer. The feelings (sadness, fear, frustration)  are what evoke that “pain” deep within, us not the change.

Comfort or Change

Change comes in many forms. When confronted with my thoughts about how to move forward in my business and my failures in certain areas, I realized I felt lost.  I felt scared and lost!  The rug had been pulled out from under me. (Of course during times of change we can’t “see”the new direction that change has us moving in.)

In my seeking of answers what I found was an old pattern. I have done a lot to delete the old pattern but, there was, still a sneaky piece of it holding on for dear life.  I still had resistance to change.

In the past I was stuck in the I like what I know and feel comfortable with.” Don’t you?  Even if it means more work and maybe a bit of struggle, I used to hold on to what I know instead of making a change.  I’m sure many of you reading this can relate to that.

This time, I had to pull out the claws of  resisting change and my holding on tightly to the way things are.  I had to release the hold those claws had me. This took transforming all my thoughts, feelings and judgments related to change. (I used techniques shared in my free e-book “Secrets to Getting ‘UnStuck’: 6 Powerful Steps to Change”. You can download it here!) Yes, I created relief about my business when I recognized what the true issue was and let go of my resistance to change.

Navigating the River

I do contract work for an alternative charter high school a few days a week. When I’m there it’s like paddling a canoe down a river. Which way and what new path will the river take today?  What course do I need to follow?

Thank goodness there is a team of us on this river so I’m not alone.

How easy is it to navigate the river?  Just flowing with the river (instead of resisting it) has made it much easier than going upstream.   For me it is letting go of the old way of doing things; what I think is the “right” way.

Yes, I hold to my truth—what I know is optimal for me and my energy and optimal for all on the river.  I partner from my heart space with a higher force. It’s the only way I know how to be fluid, change and not “fall”.  I’m then amazed at the miracles, the joy and the new ideas and the ease.

For the “Seasonal” Changes

• Have and be in a truthful and loving support system
• If you don’t have a support system, start to create one
• Partner, team up-don’t walk the path alone
• Release, release, release….the old thoughts and patterns-http://www.besetfreefast.com/
• Be yourself –find your strengths and gifts

www.Authentichappiness.org VIA Signature Strengths (free) or ViaSurvery.com (personalized detail  $25)

• TRUST yourself…and your connection to that which is greater than you
• Remember if you trust change will bring wonderful surprises

Navigate from your heart, intuition and then partner with your mind

“The world will be a better place when you’re authentically expressing all of who you are.”~  Michele Vandepas

This is huge time of transition in every arena of  life as we know it.  It’s also the time of great excitement and amazing opportunities to be…. really be who you truly are sharing all your gifts.   Some may say we’re being the spirit we came here to be. Others reference being in alignment with your Soul.  For me for me it’s about being your self …..naturally in all your glory, having fun  and serving your purpose which only you can do.

Many of you know I love the Positive Psychology movement. I love it because there’s so much research documenting that when you use what resides naturally inside, focus on what’s working and not try to fix your weaknesses  you’re healthier, happier, and wealthier.

And, you’re amazingly more successful. You’re more successful because you attract opportunities  that you know intuitively will work for you. You feel confident to pursue  them and automatically you’re being your naturally best self without even  trying. (I know that has been working so well for me these last few months.)

When you’re really being you focusing on who you really are at your best and feel confident inside,  you attract positive relationships and your current relationships improve or get even better. You become better at communicating what you you want and need and don’t feel guilty.  New opportunities come to you easily.  But the real joy is truly being who you are (the “wiring” is already there) loving your life and being abundant financially, in relationships, and in the things that really matter.

I think  Michele’s quote at the beginning says it all and I loved her blog on 100 Ways to Birth Your Entrepreneurial Dream. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to benefit and unleash the true you. Great  ideas on how to find  or refine your divine purpose.  These ideas really ideas really work.

“The world will be a better place when you’re authentically expressing all of who you are.”~  Michele Vandepas http://divinepurposeunleashed.com/100-ways-to-birth-your-entrepreneurial-dream-part-1-of-5/

Enjoy and unleash the “real” genuine and positively charged you,

Bonnie

P.S. If you need a moment of quiet to let these ideas on unleashing your purpose and passions seep into your heart-Visit the Jacuzzi Room in the Virtual Spa and relax. (It only takes 8 minutes) SerenityPathways.com click on the towels

It never fails to amaze me when I write on topics that are rich content for my “work” how that content shows up even more fully in my life. Writing about Happy, Quick Shifters in a recent blog post brought up some interesting situations these past few weeks. I know we’re all used to “cramming” as much as we can into every day. So, when my computer was giving me problems, messages were not getting to me on either of my phones and then the speaker on my cell phone stopped working, I got the message. Back off the computer, phones, Twitter etc. Get a bit quieter.

At times I notice Rose, the Resister is hanging around. That’s the part of us that wants to resist the information we get intuitively (for example, early in the morning) when we ask for the true priorities.  Last week, Rose sneakily put on my list going to Verizon Store where I  spent time waiting, (listen to someone yelling unfairly at the Verizon support staff), waiting, waiting, waiting, then my turn, then waiting many minutes getting a hard reset on phone (which is a computer of course).  Next on my list was to totally restore my phone (still not finished with that part) I gave up.  So quieter I have been.

Where did Rose, the resister come from??? Somehow I missed, overlooked and didn’t pay attention to the message in the morning or in my quiet time to “get quieter”.  ”No time,” I said. “I’m already spending time ‘being quiet’.  Isn’t that enough?”

In the mornings, as I lie in bed asking what are the most important things to do today, the “list” shifts into my consciousness. (Of course I have my list–who doesn’t? It’s more of a “What is a priority today?” list than a to-do list.)  It comes in, slowly at first, and then, as I’m more open, things that I overlooked or didn’t think of rise to the top.  I think, “You want me to do that today???? But I waaaannnt and I havvvvvve  to do this today, or you name it needs it.” And then the thought pops in “I’m behind.” No! No! No! Cancel that thought!

Those are the times I forget. . .forget to focus on my strengths.  My strengths are really the natural fuel to making my life easier. (That’s how to get more done, more easily–use your strengths and gifts. It doesn’t matter what they are–use them.) Although I think I have made the inspired list a priority at times I move off or “forget” and get involved in what I think is a priority. You know how that can happen with the demands of the day, deadlines and other people’s priorities.  I forget to turn over the rest of my list to a much more all-encompassing Source.  Rose pops in and I think to myself “I can wait until I finish what I think I need to do before I engage in any kind of self care or doing something else that wasn’t on the inspired list.” Big mistake!  “I really want to get this done.” Ah, Rose is sneaking up again.

First, it works best when we listen. Follow the early morning guidance (and any other intuitive guidance we receive during the day).  Then, take a moment and turn over to a higher Source all the rest of the “stuff” which a Superman or Spiderwoman couldn’t do in a day. Remember to focus on your strengths before you get out of bed. You’ll be amazed at how life moves so much better. Then the synchronicities abound!   That’s the part I like.

Here’s to your strengths and an inspired list that says done!

Watching Rose melt away,

Bonnie

“No matter how fast we go, no matter how many comforts we forgot… there never seems to be enough time”.
~Jay Walljasper, quoted in the book Stopping How to Be Still When You Have to Keep Going by Dr. David Kundtz (one of my favorite authors on creating quiet moments).

P.S. Blog and write about moving with more ease through linear clock time.  Although only a few people wrote comments on the blog, I received some comments and personal emails about the helpfulness of Happy, Quick Shifters. I invite you to share and write on the blog.  You may inspire someone else with your comments. We are all I this together.