Archive for the ‘worry’ Category
The problem with stress, being upset or frustrated is you want something you don’t have. . .more money, a relationship, or your kids to behave. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that’s what will make you happy. If you’re thinking that way, you are in the jaws of the happiness trap.
Do you remember the old song “Don’t worry…….Be happy”? There’s more truth to that than you think. We could substitute the word overwhelm, scared, or anxious for the word worry. All these words translate into one word-FEAR-fear of losing something…….fear of something happening to us.Now, more than ever, is the time to sing the mantra “Don’t worry…….. Be happy.” (Funny, that’s all I can remember from the song.) As Marcia Shimoff in the title of her book says, be “Happy for No Reason” (now out in paperback). Why, you ask with everything going on in my life, the world, and right here in our country? Why be happy? Because being happy, having the money you want, or having a perfect relationship isn’t the real source of happiness. I used to think having everything I wanted was happiness too. We all have been fooled into thinking having those “things” is the solution. It’s the seductive happiness trap. You know how it is when you get when you finally have the money you want or believe you’ve developed the perfect relationship? It’s like a quick sugar rush, giving you a high just for a little while, then dropping you, sometimes even plummeting you, back down, (Researchers call this you happiness set point.) Sugar and happiness highs don’t last. You can savor and enjoy them in the moment to prolong them but those fleeting pleasures just don’t hold up in the long run of life. But what is really the object of your affection? If you keep asking yourself questions, the final answer every time is what everyone wants–joy, peace and a feeling of wellbeing. That’s really the bottom line. Recently I caught myself thinking about what I couldn’t do because I didn’t have. I stopped for a moment, looked outside and here is what popped into my head. (I never know when Dr. Seuss will visit.)
No one said sappy
Just be happy the sky is a beautiful blue
So …………you have a lot to do
Find a way
To be able to say
Today, I will find some time to play
It’s all up to me
How to be
It’s easier than you think
And quicker than a wink
You have it all inside
Find where those happy feelings reside
Because what makes you feel good
Is really all under your hood.
Positive Emotion= More ChoicesAnd, just in case you don’t think songs or Dr. Seuss are reliable resources, studies have shown that just smiling and having a little fun can open up your mind and the neuropathways in your brain. When the brain is not hyper-focused on the problem, it opens to other possibilities and new opportunities It has been found through extensive research on positive emotion and resiliency that positive emotions help you navigate the bumps in life by broadening possible choices and actions in difficult or challenging situations. Experiencing positive emotion daily builds up your reserves for the tougher times. Researcher, Barbara Fredrickson, PhD., says in her new book Positivity, ”Positive emotion opens our hearts and our minds making us more receptive and more creative.” In her research she has found negativity–even neutrality–holds you back. Negative or neutral emotions actually narrow your experiences making it feel like “having blinders” on. Just a quick aside–early one morning (before I had gotten back to reading Fredrickson’s book that very day) my brother was describing his low mood and said he felt like he had “blinders on”. I’m so glad I now have scientific evidence that he was telling the truth! Being in a bad mood feels like blinders, limiting our options and leaving us with seemingly nowhere to go except straight ahead. I know how easy it is to feel boxed in with the outside world realities. Do you want to fall in the happiness trap and keep those blinders on or trust what’s under your hood? Take time to look inside! Yes, you may have to be still for a few minutes. Then, do whatever you need to, so you feel happy, content, joyful, fulfilled. Laugh, play or just visualize a time you felt good! Look, listen and then take action. You never know what will show up in your world. Be Happy…………..Don’t Worry,Bonnie
P.S. Discover how to be happy…right now.Walk the Natural Path to Happiness Read a sample of Module 1:Smelling the Roses Pays off – at (copy and paste url SerenityPathways.com/npth-down in the middle of the page). You won’t want to miss the bonus gift ebook Calm Moves when you purchase the Natural Path to Happiness Module 1. (first in a series of 8-you can buy just the first one)
What can you do to feel better in a world filled with uncertainty, worry and fear? Should you try to anticipate what the fallout may be and “fix” things? Or are you worrying and second guessing what to do next?
There seems to be heart-wrenching circumstances and losses around every corner for many. I‘m watching a lot of endings: physical death, health issues, end of partnerships–both personal and professional–as well as continual change from “what was.” In the past I would worry, try to make it better…. hold on as tight as I could in hopes that maybe I could control the outcome. Oh, silly me!
The Unburdening of the Load
A very close friend of mine, Sam, participated in a letting go process that has taken a lifetime. As his mother passed on this week, my friend experienced a sense of unburdening, freedom and joy …and …..love. Sound strange?
…….Why?……Because Sam had been holding on to his frustration and anger from what he didn’t get from his mom as a child and adult. His mother had been struggling with a chronic disease (for over 26 years) and had a difficult life before that. Her chronic disease had financial repercussions and placed a strain on Sam’s families’ budget over the years.
A few weeks ago, Sam finally “broke down” and told his Mom he loved her. He let go of what he didn’t get from her. He accepted her as she was and simply appreciated her for being his mother–not for what she did or didn’t do but simply for being his mother. Sam was then able to have compassion for how hard her life had been from the time he was a young child. In his words “it was a big deal” to tell his mom he loved her, but the rewards were big. As Sam’s mother transitioned, he felt joy for her. He felt she was now in a place with no pain and filled with peace. And for himself, Sam said he felt freed from the constriction of debilitating anger and was joyful his mother was released from her physical and emotional bonds.
Since that day, Sam has described several experiences of being in the presence of another person’s unconditional love, centeredness, and peace. Sam said these experiences (and he grimaced) were “sweet”. You would never imagine this left-brained, analytical male (even though he has a big heart) using the words “sweet” to describe anything. But, you know what he’s talking about and how, in those moments, you just feel really good. You feel peace and joy despite what is happening around you. You know the experience……the sweetness of a delicious meal, the sweetness of a moment with a child or your loved one, or just the sweetness of a moment. I love my friend but he’s a skeptic, a left-brain thinker, a “how do they prove it?” kind of a person. So this is big. How was Sam able to experience the gift of loving “energy” available to us 24/7?
First, he let go of his anger. Then he accepted what was and found the gift hidden in a tough, tough situation. Then, he was in appreciation. Last, he is now stopping to breathe in the moment, and see what comes…….next. Imagine this Sam said to me “the more I let go, the better it gets”. Thanks, Sam you are an inspiration to all of us (and not even a womanJ)!
So, today, find a moment…. Breathe…. focus on that worry or what you think you need to fix. Find a place of acceptance and then just focus on appreciation. Research has shown that the better you feel, the better your brain functions and, the bigger bonus, the healthier and happier you will be. Not only will life be easier but more will come for you when you are in appreciation. This is a good place to be in this month of Thanksgiving.
In this unsettling time let the light of fun, love and appreciation be your guide,
P.S. You will “see” more choices and options with open eyes and an open heart.
With everything going on in our country and in the world, I am sure you felt the darkness after reading and hearing a lot of messages filled with fear. I have been fortunate to have heard other messages and reminders of what is really important. Those messages reminded me that out of the dark comes the light. So, what I remember is—when things look scarey, breathe and then take a look at them. That gives you the power to make a choice. Many things are out of our control—that’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? What is in our control? The same things that always have been in our control—our thoughts and reactions. Our thoughts can take us down or it they can lead us in another, more positive, direction. I’ve heard this quote several times, both on the morning news shows and I have also read it in several emails. It was Roosevelt’s statement, “All we have to is fear itself.” I was delighted to hear those words where millions could also hear. Crisis can be a time of powerful healing transformation.
Do you spend time worrying? Of course! We all do. The question is how much? Limit your time in worrying and being anxious. I know I can get into great trouble by going in the endless loop of worrisome thoughts. Limit your conversations about how bad everything is. I enjoy listen to people talking about the what is working right now. Limit your time in watching the news. (I didn’t say don’t watch the news– just limit it.)
Have you engaged the most powerful technology–that which you have inside? Do you spend time feeling happy because the sun is out, gas prices are going down and the leaves are beautiful? Do you spend time closing your eyes and asking for creative solutions for what you need to do next? Do you focus on what is working? This may seem simple and it is. It is very powerful. It works! If you are having trouble reaching even a few moments of peace, what can you do? You know inside what calms you in the deepest and troubling of times.
In the last few ezines and blog I wrote about the power of positive friends and family. Now is it is vital to have a support system. When anyone in your support circle of friends and family is scared, be there for them. Being grounded in your conviction about them you will help them to realize they will be okay.
I don’t know what is going to happen. I just know our world had to change. I know that the only way I can impact what happens in the outside world is for to be me the best I can. I can use my strengths, create moments of inner peace and say thank you alot. I support others, and am supported. I seek inner guidance to create how I want to be, and say thanks that it is done. I find myself seeing and feeling more hopeful.
Ways to find the light in the darkness:
- Engage in the magical power of transformational “prayer”, knowing and being appreciative that it is already done. You can visualize and feel it.
- Look for a creative opportunity that you can capitalize on in this market.
- Look for and write down evidence you have been, and are being, taken care of.
- Listen to calming music found at amycamie.com. We often forget that the simple things can calm us.
- Remember to breathe and limit your worry time.
- Participating in the F*ree Teleclass Worry And Be Stress Free!” by signing up now http://housebythecreek.com/
- Start of list of “New things you would like to start” and do one.
- Read or listen to something you find inspirational. Do this daily.
- Visit the free Relaxation rooms to transform your worry http://www.serenitypathways.com/virtualspajacuzzi2.htm. Click on the towels.
- Visit the ProsperityPortal.com where you’ll find a variety of tools, techniques, & classes.
- Visit and register for the upcoming “Harnessing the Power of Trust” teleclass offered by Max Wellspring and designed to provide an antidote to money fears.
- Write and find your center and get your own answers. “Activate the extraordinary voice within”!~ Janet Conner www.WritingDownYourSoul.com Listen to her interview with Stephanie Gunning and find out how! http://www.thegreatamericanthinkout.blogspot.com/(scroll down to the bottom of the page)- at this site there are other great audios and ideas to find some peace
Seeing all of us let go of judgments and blame and creating peace,Bonnie