Archive for the ‘anxiety’ Category

“Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round and round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much.”
http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

“Have you been so focused on something that it seems to occupy your entire brain? Then there seems like there’s no room in your head for any other ideas or thoughts? Are you feeling a bit uptight or worried about how to do what you need to do accomplish? Do these thoughts keep you up or wake you up at night? Do you find it’s hard to concentrate on other things? You may even find yourself drifting off during other conversations. You’re mind is full trying to figure out how to get what you need done, how to come up with ideas for a new project or how to arrange your fall schedule balancing work and the responsibilities of your family. If you said yes to most of these questions above you’re being held hostage by your thoughts. When you are held hostage you don’t have the freedom to explore other ideas and opportunities, only the same old ones that are right there in front of your face. So how do you break out of the cycle of repetitive thoughts or worries that keep you confined? As I have been very focused on expanding my business, I have noticed it has helped letting go of the worry about how it will totally unfold. Giving myself freedom from worry by taking breaks and focusing on other things has helped me notice and be aware of new ideas. This morning I realized I needed to write my ezine. Even though I wanted to start on it, I just didn’t feel inspired. I noticed when I opened up my computer that the many icons on my desktop were blocking the picture on my screen. I took a short break from thinking about my ezine and re-arranged the ions and cleaned up the desktop. Next, I opened up my email and I took the time read the Daily Om (I don’t always read them). The answer came to me quickly on what to write about! These short “breaks” from my brain in hostage-mode about the ezine gave me the perfect validation for how I had been working on my business and gave me idea for this blog.

In this Daily Om they suggest you give yourself a gift – you probably guessed it – to step away from your worry or project. Doing this “lessens the load“. I know what you’re thinking. The problem will still be there, I still have to figure this out. That’s true, however, what comes from stepping back is the gift of answers you are looking for as you create the space to hear or see them. Your body relaxes and your mind is more open and receptive. No one is saying to ignore the deadline or not take care of your responsibilities – just take a break.

One blogger on Daily Om said it so well, “It is around 1:41 am. I am wide awake as thoughts at what happened at my office today are driving me crazy. I get up and switch on my computer, enter my email address and password. There I am looking at this Daily OM email: Taking a Break from What You are Doing. Terrific. Exactly what I needed and exactly at the right moment. I read it and am amazed. Suddenly I feel less tense. There is a sense that the Universe is communicating with me and is trying to help me.” ~ http://www.dailyom.com

The idea is to give yourself a mini vacation from the planning or the worry. “By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us”. http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

3 Steps to Release the Hostage to Get the Gifts

• Consciously take a mind vacation from your project or worries (even if it’s just on the way to the car or a trip to the bathroom). Just switch the station on your thoughts – think of something else or something you love or enjoy
• Take a mini yoga break, walk, read a book, switch to another activity and monitor your thoughts on “vacation mode” from the project or worries
• Put your focus on what you are doing when you are in the shower, shaving or drying your hair or and watch the creative ideas pour in

Free and on a thought-vacation at least for a little while,
Bonnie

In some places it’s hot enough to cook and burn an egg on the pavement! Looking at the weather map, this heat blankets our entire country. So I’m sure you’re feeling it.

My question to you is:  Are you adding to the hot external temperatures by turning on the heat and burning up from the inside without realizing it?

Are you Turning Up the Heat from the Inside
3 Questions

Are you pushing on despite the heat – and it being summertime – and ignoring the message to slow down so you can cool down?

Are you ready for the kids to go back to school and yet dread fall, instead of being in the moment and creating joyful times and memories?

Are you saying later, later for a few minutes of quiet solitude that would cool down your body and mind?

How to Turn Down the Heat
3 Ideas

Consider letting one thing go and know that it’s taken care of or will be later. Everything isn’t a priority and doesn’t have to be done right now. Breathe deeply, let go of the nagging voice and know with conviction that doing this will make your life easier.

There are always positive moments in the worst of situations. Are you just tired and need a moment of peace? (see the next idea) Find those positive moments and focus on them. This will change your perception and feelings and turn down the inner heat and agitation. Remember to look for positive changes inside yourself and those around you.

Take advantage of how your body works. Research says women are wired for being able to de-stress more easily than men. However, the chemicals in your body support you in de-stressing more quickly when you take time for yourself. Pick up a novel and read for 15 or 20 minutes! Close the door, put your feet up and do nothing – just focus on breathing (novel idea). Pour yourself a cool drink (a great smoothie or a flavored ice tea) and just take time to drink it – alone! And, most importantly look for those thoughts that heat you up and cool them down by letting them go.

Turn down the heat and stay cool,
Bonnie

I’d like to pose a question to you…do you feel free or feel  a sense of freedom?  Can you remember those times when you did? When I looked up the  word free I found it  can mean “without a charge”. Freedom can be a “lack of restrictions, free will, or  looseness.” Most people I talk to have the opposite, a  sense of being confined. And, that’s  certainly a reasonable feeling as the hurricane of change and uncertainty still hovers around us. But, when we start to feel boxed in we can choose to slide into a more open and freeing state of mind. It can come in the most unexpected way.

My birthday was this week and I had such a sense of freedom and celebration during the day. What was unexpected and really contributed were  the  Happy Birthday songs. This was the year for the  six musical happy birthdays that entertained me both live and in messages. One birthday rendition  left me in a heap of laughter. It wasn’t that they sang poorly it was just fun and the joy they were having left me smiling inside and out. It was so freeing to hear them sing and just laugh in the moment and celebrate! The bubbles of that laughter keep me feeling free and that lovely feeling of openness  permeated my day.

So very simply put, this July 4th celebrate your freedom. This weekend is a wonderful time to enjoy the moments of being able to do nothing, be with your family and friends or enjoy being with yourself. Celebrate what you have and laugh.

Happy July 4th weekend, feel free it’s all in the feeling, have fun and enjoy the present moment,
Bonnie

I am including a video that had me in tears. Laughing will give you the opportunity not to be bound up, worried or feel restricted. It’s only two minutes. I bet you won’t be able to keep a straight face! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HttF5HVYtlQ (copy and paste)

Is there a connection between play and murder? There really is one; you’ll find the answer as you finish reading this blog. After another training session in Matrix Energetics where everything is considered “play” – including playing while taking in consideration conditions such as cancer and other serious aliments many people suffer from – I understood even more clearly the power of play. (During a Matrix Session they didn’t take “the condition” lightly,but the session was structured in a light and playful manner yielding amazing results.)  When your focus is light-hearted and even fun, your focus is shifted away from the problem and more “space” is created for healing. As I follow the path of how fun makes life easier, I want to share it with you. It’s a simple way to make a change in your life without having to “work” at it. My deepest desire is to support you in increasing your ability to have a life you would choose, to be happier, have life be  less chaotic and more peaceful. And, play and fun is a great place to start. (Don’t forget you will be healthier and more productive when you play). Because my clients have really experienced how The Fun Factor plays into productivity, I have been led in a direction of finding more supporting evidence on the benefits of play and fun, which is what this week’s blog is all about.

My Fun – What’s Yours?

I have found one of the things I loved as a kid and many of you may might have loved too (I know I mentioned it before) was hula hooping. Here in Florida hula hooping seems to be an up and coming new sport. Even though it may take some effort, there are great benefits from playing with a hula hoop. Who thought whirling your hips in odd directions and sometimes looking incredibly silly could increase your memory, your mood, your biceps and your core? And, it’s fun! A bit of a workout, but fun!!! I always feel energized afterward. Why is this fun to me? I love my purple and gold adult hula hoop. It reminds me of the fun I had as a child. I was good at it then. It makes me happy. I laugh. Believe it or not, creative ideas pop into my head about all kinds of things during and after I hoop. I feel good about taking care of my body. I actually think it’s a joke on me. I’m exercising but it’s fun. An oxymoron for sure for me.

For those of you who may be a “type-A personality”, keep reading. Playing and or fooling around will activate creativity and passion, transferring literally to other aspects of your life including work, how you relate to your friends, family and your marriage. According to the American Medical Association, “When you take a vacation from work — even a four-day weekend — you are more inventive, productive and healthier (fewer sick days) when you return,” says Stuart Brown, MD, a researcher for The National Institute for Play. Yes, there really is one! A pioneer in research on play, Brown says, “Humor, games, roughhousing, flirtation and fantasy are more than just fun. Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age”.

The Research

Dr. Stuart Brown’s research “shows play is not just joyful and energizing — it’s deeply involved with human development and intelligence.” I was thrilled to hear his suggestion to “explore backwards and go to the most clear, joyful image you have” in your life and remember playing, whether it’s an activity or toy, and feel the emotion. The next step is to think: how can you relate that emotion to your life now? Another aspect of what I wrote about in the F… Factor. The emotion is what you are looking for, that’s the link and the power of play.

Why, why, why play? Because it makes your life happier. You are more productive and more creative. You will find yourself with a pure and wonderful sense of wellbeing. Playing can lead you to your passions and the next step in your life. I know what you are thinking: play, sure, sure, sure. But, the bottom line is you’ll like your life more. Brown says the opposite of play is not work, it’s “depression.”

By the way, Stuart found after looking at murderers’ profiles that they were “play deprived.” More research is pointing to a child’s development being enhanced or curtailed by the opportunities to play or not.

Have a Fun Memorial Day Weekend!

Enjoy some guilt-free playing—you will enjoy your life more,

Bonnie

PS Join the fun and Post your favorite (legal) fun and play activities-the ones you enjoy yourself or the play activities you enjoy with your children or grandchildren.  Explain the activity, how you felt and if you noticed any benefit from your playtime.

PPS Do you want to know when this blog is updated? You can sign up at the box in the right column and get an email notifying you.

Ugly Duckling or Swan?

Who thought swans would be the refresher with a message? After going to the dentist, I decided I needed to recharge my batteries and enjoy a bit of nature before my next coaching session. I stopped by a nearby park with a lake and a lovely view. I found a towel in the car. (I had my husband’s car so I didn’t have my beach chair in the trunk.) It was one of the beautiful days of spring before the heat of our Florida summer. I thought it would be lovely to just sit and enjoy some peace and quiet.

As I headed to a familiar part of the park, I heard the laughing and playful voices of children, many children. I love the sounds of children’s voices but after hearing drilling at the dentist I just wanted quiet. I headed towards the other end of lake. As I sat down on my little towel, my attention was caught by the swans. At this lake you can rent swan boats and you usually see swans, but the swans I saw first were in pairs and they were black! I had never seen black swans before. Maybe I just live a sheltered life. Who knows? They were a beautiful sight.

I enjoyed the swans that, on this particular day, were traversing the water in pairs. Two pairs of black swans and next a pair of swans with black necks and white bodies both perfectly matched. Then finally I saw the white swans. It was lovely to watch them gracefully float on the water. I have never seen birds so gracefully catch and swallow fish. Although I only stayed a short while, I felt a welling up in my heart of joy, just watching the ease and loveliness of the swans.

As many of you know animals can be symbols and represent certain ideas. I thought about the traditional ugly duckling story that recognizes they are a beautiful swan. That is a wonderful metaphor for our ability to really recognize when we accept ourselves we become ‘beautiful” and graceful because we aren’t trying to be something we aren’t. Being yourself is much easier. I also wanted to know more so I looked up the animal message of swans. So here they are: “begin to realize your own true beauty”. Then I looked up black swan: “represents love, both self love and romantic love, happiness in yourself, the healing power of love and miracles”.

I think the message is obvious but maybe not. You choose – no one else does. Are you an ugly duckling or a swan? Be your authentic self without hesitation. Your journey will be easier and more graceful. Remember the healing power of love and look for miracles.

Remember the message of the swans,

Bonnie

Last week during the business, I have to admit that I re-read last weeks blog Staying Out of the Cracks, to remind myself to fill up on what’s working.

I have to be honest one of the cracks for me is writing this blog and having no one post a response.  I get email responses but few comments.  I finally decided that it didn’t matter, what mattered was my sharing my experiences and things I know uplift others. For example, a woman emailed me after last week’s blog and said she shifted her to do list for her mini vacation from the “shoulds” which made her fall in the cracks. Yay, out of the cracks!!! (I know it can also feel like a dark hole believe me.)

I think each of has a gift to share. It may be just listening to someone that will keep them out of the cracks or it may be that small thoughtful thing you do that keeps them from falling deeper in the cracks. You may not even know how something you did fills someone else up. The message I want to share is when you are up looking at the Sun  and filled up share it. During these this time, we are meant to connect, support and be supported. The journey is easier. Celebrate those sunshine moments. If you look up and fill up you’ll find you aren’t alone. There is always someone or something to guide you away from the cracks.

I want to thank those who posted that filled me up as I read the comments from the last blog. Thank you as I am reading your comments and writing, the dark clouds lifted and the sun started to shine outside. For each of you who wrote a comment. I want to thank each of you for shining your light and sharing. You never know who else you may lift out of the cracks!

Looking up at the sun and filling up,

Bonnie

A funny thing happened on the way back home on Sunday. After some quiet contemplation on Easter Sunday, something startling occurred. My husband in his quiet time had asked a question and wanted a clear sign. As we headed the car back to the house, he suddenly turned off into what he thought…. was the park. No, it wasn’t the park, he was thinking about. However, it was a beautiful park next to the “Our Lady of Prayer” a building created for prayer. How remarkable that he found this park and mediation/prayer spot on the water on Easter Sunday.

It was so peaceful, the weather was beautiful and no one was around. The building itself was closed but we walked around this beautiful park. It was very interesting to note in the park were the “stations of the cross” in sculptures that lead up to Easter. As we walked around enjoying the sun and the blue sky, my husband with his odd sense of humor says, “I think I got the answer to my question. I should be a priest”. After we both laughed we got quiet. There was no missing we had been lead there. The real truth and answer that came to us was after the struggle and pain came a rising up-the ascension. It takes faith to know that the ascension is coming.

I thought about how many of us are changing because of “outside circumstances” but it’s really creating an inner up leveling for our own personal ascension. The saying it happens for a reason was very clear that day. But, the best for me is I love how you never know how the answers will show up.

Here’s to leaving the struggle behind and ascending,
Bonnie

We all know it’s always darkest before the dawn – the world is at its most gloomy before the light can start seeping through the waves of darkness. In several faith traditions, this is the week of darkness before the light. “A week” you say? I know it feels longer than a week. I have spoken to many people who have felt that the darkness and chaos started last week (or last year or over the last several years) and I have felt the same way. Even the most grounded, successful and spiritually-trusting people have been challenged. I know this may be a turbulent time whether it’s the small dramas, the busyness of life or the ongoing bigger issues that concern you. How do you find those beams of light, take care of yourself and not drop all the balls you have in the air as you put out fires at home and work, meet everyone else’s needs and take care of your family all while staying connected and trusting? That’s a good question, and it’s one I ask myself and my clients routinely.

I want to share with you what I know can support you in connecting to the “light” this week or any busy day (or week or year) in your life. However, I hesitate to suggest this to you as I have consciously left it out of my conversations and writings as many of you may consider it a “dirty” word. Here is goes…one of the best ways you can find your way out of the dark and into the light is to meditate. Yes, I wrote it. If Oprah can use the word, I know it’s okay for me to use it, too. But I can hear you now — I don’t have time, I can’t quiet my mind, that isn’t for me — and I really understand. I started out feeling that way also.

Here’s the good news. Everyone can “meditate” because it’s easier and less time consuming than you think. It takes you out of the dark and gives you a peek of light. And, we do it all the time already — meditating is just focused attention. It’s about being open and listening and being present in the moment. I looked up the word meditation and it comes from the Indo-European root med – meaning “to measure”. Meditation has been defined as: “self regulation of attention, in the service of self-inquiry, in the here and now.”

Many simple meditation techniques ask you to focus on your breathing. Focusing on your breathing engages your left brain, keeping it from trying to figure everything out, and allowing you freedom from other thoughts. The key (coming from the Buddhist tradition) is taking your mind out of the mix even for a short time and allowing the space, “the wiggle room”, for the answers or inspiration to surface. (There’s more on wiggle room in the last blog post). So if you stop what you’re doing and focus on your breathing — you’re meditating.

Step it up by using self inquiry-questions before you start such as “I wonder how this darkness and chaos will lift?” Or “What is the most important thing for me to do next?” Or “I wonder how it would feel if I wasn’t ______.” The answers will come either now or later if you give them the chance. Just four easy steps: Stop what you are doing, take a deep breath, ask your questions and then focus on your breathing. Try this for one to three minutes — that’s all! Then notice what is different, the lightness you feel…and keep noticing. Keep noticing what’s different.

Meditation can take place during many activities, not just when you’re sitting still with your eyes closed. It can come when you are writing in a journal, as you do routine chores, or while taking a walk. Just staying in the present moment noticing with your senses what you are doing. It’s all about focusing in the moment…the moment you have right now.

I know how difficult it is to make the best choices in the midst of too much do, in the middle of chaos and drama. I would love to help you! So I encourage you to take a “meditation break” and let the best choices for you and your life come to you in the “light”.

Resources to find some light in your life

Listen to “3 Minutes of Light” Meditation in the Jacuzzi Room.

The Soothing SoundPaths™ to Serenity: The Virtual Spa™ CD (available in CD or downloadable version)

Walking Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh and Anh-Huong Nguyen

The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

One-Moment Meditation: Stillness for People on the Go by Martin Boroson

Transform Stress in 30 Days with One-Moment Meditation®
My wish for you is that you connect to the light of meditation,
Bonnie
PS Post and let us know how “meditation” helped you let in some light. Thanks for posting,when you post it really helps others on the path!

Shifting thoughts have really moved the bubble of reality for me, and for those around me, in wonderful ways. In the last blog, I wrote about being able to shift your bubble of reality and I wanted to share a few stories with you. A teenager I coached recently was angry and very upset – until and her bubble of reality shifted. What changed for her? When she saw the possibility that what had been said to her, although hurtful and downright rude, was really not true! She didn’t have to buy into the hurt and angry reality.

Yesterday I had one of those days, like the teenager above, shifting my bubble. It started out with someone, where I do some contract work, putting their head down and mumbling, “Good morning.” I could hear it was not a good morning. Was it me? Maybe? Or maybe not!

Then later in the day I presented a program to support for staff in their work environment – something I was very excited about.

However, my bubble didn’t shift – it popped. Although the administrator was positive and open, she shared when some of the staff heard about the time commitment for the program I had created for them, they were resistant to participating. I felt I had gone above and beyond in creating this program to support them! So my bubble fell to the floor, popped and subsequently disappeared. I was really disappointed.

How did I let that happen? You guessed it! I didn’t shift my thoughts, when I received the feedback about some of the staff’s reaction and my bubble melted on the ground. I didn’t give myself any “wiggle room” – that energetic space where physical realities change, as Dr. Bartlett talks about in his books Matrix Energetics and The Physics of a Miracle.

It took me a bit to get another bubble in the air, but I did it. The breath that let this new bubble grow and airlift in it’s shift, was looking for what I was truly feeling and then changing my thoughts. I also had a deep conviction and belief there had to be other realities I could shift and move into and let go of where I was. I let go of my attachment to the outcome (will they choose to get involved with the program I created) and let go of the story that what I was offering wasn’t valuable. Whew! What a relief to let it go!

Most importantly, as I shifted my bubble of reality, I feel peaceful and knew that whatever happens happens. Being peaceful is really the intention. When we are in a peaceful state of well-being that’s where where the miracles are.
How are you shifting your bubble of reality? Post and tell us.

Here’s to beautiful bubbles floating in the air with many colorful and wonderful realities. You can choose!

Bonnie

Yes, you can find peace in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, if you really want it. Even if there is a sadness in your heart, you can discover peace during this holiday season.

The other day I was reminded of this as I watched a dove take it’s winged grace into the air. (We have doves here around our house in Florida.) I love watching the doves, hearing them coo and knowing of the peace they can bring. In some sad moments today the energy of the doves cleared my way to more peace.

Historically, and in many faith traditions, doves are known as a symbol of peace. They are also known in Animal Totem medicine as a symbol of the peace of grace. It doesn’t matter where you live, you can capture the energy of the dove’s profound peace wherever you live and especially now in the season of light, peace and love.

I knew doves were associated with peace and love but I didn’t know that doves were also associated with giving.    It’s important for all of us to Let go of the notion there’s not enough time. This season and as you move into the new year, let “giving” to yourself  be one of your gifts.

Whenever you slip into the energy of chaos and desire the delicious comforting sense of peace….think of the dove energy.   It’s never too late to give to yourself.  Make a choice to  make things simpler.  Or give yourself a “time out”.  Be quiet before you head out shopping, wrapping, or cooking.  Trust your intuition; you know what you need. Those few self-nurturing moments have a big payoff in the grand scheme of things. And don’t forget to breathe in thankfulness for whatever you love and that is dear to you this holiday!

When you finish reading this blog take a moment, close your eyes and visualize or imagine beautiful doves of peace soaring and floating gently across the skies.  Imagine the serenity they bring as they noiselessly flap their wings, stilling your thoughts and bringing a true sense of tranquilly to you.  Just breathe in the tranquility!  Everything will fall into order.  Let it sink in before you open your eyes to the sights and sounds of this very precious season.

Wishing you all the peace of the doves,’

Bonnie