Archive for the ‘wellbeing’ Category

Do you ever wonder what “normal” is? And is there really “a normal”? I was talking to my Mom and she and her friends were talking about the effects in business of the “new normal”. My question to you is what does normal mean? When I was doing IQ testing we knew what the range of “normal intelligence” was, however even within that range everyone’s profile was different. So what does normal really mean? You could have “normal intelligence” but have a terrible time reading because you have learning disabilities. So if you have learning disabilities, you aren’t normal anymore? Or you can have normal intelligence but be a gifted genius at playing a musical instrument. So how is that “normal”? Am I abnormal because I can’t play the piano well? (I’m sure my friends and family don’t think I’m normal but it’s not because I can’t play the piano.) So the idea of a “new normal” gets very complicated.

Here are just a few of the “new normals”…

• You break off a relationship by texting instead of doing it in person
• When buying new sheets instead of just choosing by color, you choose by thread count
• In Real Estate, transactions are not regular sales, they’re frequently “short sales”
• Instead of staying in the corporate world, droves of people are now entrepreneurs
• When making a new friend you don’t get a phone number, you Facebook them
• Adult children aren’t living on their own, they are moving back “home”
• Instead of “normal” TV, they have expanded and enhanced HD
• The Dow Jones Average goes down more than it’s up
• You don’t write checks, you pay bills on line

Is any of this “normal” or even customary? Maybe…maybe not. I think it’s more about change and then about choice. How do you participate in those which you can’t change, and which do you want to participate in? I just bought a new set of sheets and I love the new normal of sheet buying. That thread count is great in helping me decide which sheets I want to purchase. Now the economic new normal, I would love to be able to choose something different. How do you handle that; it’s out of your control. So do you spend a lot of time continually complaining and worrying? Yes, you could do that. But my thought is the same as before… what really is “normal” and is this about a change that is needed but not so easy to navigate?

Are you “normal” and thinking some of these “new normals” don’t seem so wonderful? Sometimes during change the transition seems chaotic. What do you do? You can buy into “new normal” because no amount of complaining will bring back the “old normal”. Or you can decide how you want to respond to these “new normals”. Remember, what used to be is gone.

So what’s best for you? A great idea is to take a quick pause, look deep inside, turn up the volume on your inner voice and see how to choose a way to handle these changes. With all the “new normals” there’s so much variety in how you respond… what you do… and how you let it affect you. Don’t forget, there’s still room for you to choose. If you really want to get someone’s cell phone number instead of becoming a Facebook friend, no one is stopping you. Part of what makes each of us unique is that none of us is “normal”. We are unique individuals. So you can choose! Don’t forget, part of the key is in how you react to the “new normal”. I know it’s easy to forget and get caught in the undertow of all the changes happening. I think each day brings a “new normal”. I have decided just to get on the ride because not getting on requires way too much energy. And remember the pause that refreshes: Take a moment and go inside and ask, “What works the best for me?” I love the new set of sheets I just bought. I love the “new normal’ of thread counts.

Definitely not normal, what fun would that be,

Bonnie

P.S. Post your thoughts on what you see as a “new normal”.

“Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round and round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much.”
http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

“Have you been so focused on something that it seems to occupy your entire brain? Then there seems like there’s no room in your head for any other ideas or thoughts? Are you feeling a bit uptight or worried about how to do what you need to do accomplish? Do these thoughts keep you up or wake you up at night? Do you find it’s hard to concentrate on other things? You may even find yourself drifting off during other conversations. You’re mind is full trying to figure out how to get what you need done, how to come up with ideas for a new project or how to arrange your fall schedule balancing work and the responsibilities of your family. If you said yes to most of these questions above you’re being held hostage by your thoughts. When you are held hostage you don’t have the freedom to explore other ideas and opportunities, only the same old ones that are right there in front of your face. So how do you break out of the cycle of repetitive thoughts or worries that keep you confined? As I have been very focused on expanding my business, I have noticed it has helped letting go of the worry about how it will totally unfold. Giving myself freedom from worry by taking breaks and focusing on other things has helped me notice and be aware of new ideas. This morning I realized I needed to write my ezine. Even though I wanted to start on it, I just didn’t feel inspired. I noticed when I opened up my computer that the many icons on my desktop were blocking the picture on my screen. I took a short break from thinking about my ezine and re-arranged the ions and cleaned up the desktop. Next, I opened up my email and I took the time read the Daily Om (I don’t always read them). The answer came to me quickly on what to write about! These short “breaks” from my brain in hostage-mode about the ezine gave me the perfect validation for how I had been working on my business and gave me idea for this blog.

In this Daily Om they suggest you give yourself a gift – you probably guessed it – to step away from your worry or project. Doing this “lessens the load“. I know what you’re thinking. The problem will still be there, I still have to figure this out. That’s true, however, what comes from stepping back is the gift of answers you are looking for as you create the space to hear or see them. Your body relaxes and your mind is more open and receptive. No one is saying to ignore the deadline or not take care of your responsibilities – just take a break.

One blogger on Daily Om said it so well, “It is around 1:41 am. I am wide awake as thoughts at what happened at my office today are driving me crazy. I get up and switch on my computer, enter my email address and password. There I am looking at this Daily OM email: Taking a Break from What You are Doing. Terrific. Exactly what I needed and exactly at the right moment. I read it and am amazed. Suddenly I feel less tense. There is a sense that the Universe is communicating with me and is trying to help me.” ~ http://www.dailyom.com

The idea is to give yourself a mini vacation from the planning or the worry. “By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us”. http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

3 Steps to Release the Hostage to Get the Gifts

• Consciously take a mind vacation from your project or worries (even if it’s just on the way to the car or a trip to the bathroom). Just switch the station on your thoughts – think of something else or something you love or enjoy
• Take a mini yoga break, walk, read a book, switch to another activity and monitor your thoughts on “vacation mode” from the project or worries
• Put your focus on what you are doing when you are in the shower, shaving or drying your hair or and watch the creative ideas pour in

Free and on a thought-vacation at least for a little while,
Bonnie

In some places it’s hot enough to cook and burn an egg on the pavement! Looking at the weather map, this heat blankets our entire country. So I’m sure you’re feeling it.

My question to you is:  Are you adding to the hot external temperatures by turning on the heat and burning up from the inside without realizing it?

Are you Turning Up the Heat from the Inside
3 Questions

Are you pushing on despite the heat – and it being summertime – and ignoring the message to slow down so you can cool down?

Are you ready for the kids to go back to school and yet dread fall, instead of being in the moment and creating joyful times and memories?

Are you saying later, later for a few minutes of quiet solitude that would cool down your body and mind?

How to Turn Down the Heat
3 Ideas

Consider letting one thing go and know that it’s taken care of or will be later. Everything isn’t a priority and doesn’t have to be done right now. Breathe deeply, let go of the nagging voice and know with conviction that doing this will make your life easier.

There are always positive moments in the worst of situations. Are you just tired and need a moment of peace? (see the next idea) Find those positive moments and focus on them. This will change your perception and feelings and turn down the inner heat and agitation. Remember to look for positive changes inside yourself and those around you.

Take advantage of how your body works. Research says women are wired for being able to de-stress more easily than men. However, the chemicals in your body support you in de-stressing more quickly when you take time for yourself. Pick up a novel and read for 15 or 20 minutes! Close the door, put your feet up and do nothing – just focus on breathing (novel idea). Pour yourself a cool drink (a great smoothie or a flavored ice tea) and just take time to drink it – alone! And, most importantly look for those thoughts that heat you up and cool them down by letting them go.

Turn down the heat and stay cool,
Bonnie

I felt invisible forces around as I visited with friends and family during my time in New York while staying with my Mom as she was recuperating from surgery. I noticed certain people seemed to be controlled by something no one could see. Some people were very focused on what was “wrong”. What was wrong with… you can name it: the church, politics, who was donating money to the wrong cause, what some friend’s and family member’s teenagers were doing (no, don’t ask) and more! It was also fascinating to watch and listen to how each person reacted as the conversations continued. It may have seemed to a casual observer that some people were bystanders rather than being in the drama of the conversation. However, if you listened closely, those people were compassionate but had a lack of judgment. So what invisible force was leading them by the hand?

Why such a big difference in people’s ability to perceive and react in such different ways? The obvious answer is: our beliefs. However, I was reminded about a question in a recent study group I attended. The question was: how are our beliefs influenced? Think about this for a moment. Have you ever been in a stadium when someone starts “the wave” and all of a sudden everyone in the stadium of thousands is moving? It’s an energetic connection that happens as the person next to you starts moving. The same is true when you’re on a project and everything just falls into place. There’s an invisible connection that occurs from one person to the next, and it’s not a thinking or talking experience once it has been set in motion. And it’s not an accident or coincidence. The intentions and thoughts create an energetic field of connection between each person or event.

Quantum scientists refer to this connection as a “morphic field.” You can liken this to a blueprint connected to whatever the focus is. The blueprint is fluid, moving and growing or not. There’s a “field” connected to politics, a field connected to disease, a field connected to religion, and a field connected to a party you are planning to have – just to name a few. There is NO judgment to the field itself; it’s just a collection of energy. For a moment, think back over the last few years. Have you felt worried or scared after you heard the news or talked with your friends about the economy? There is a “field” surrounding our economy and many times it’s a field of fear. When you tap into that field you may feel uneasy or think that things will never get better. Just a few more examples: there is a field of connections or morphic fields around prayer, God, sports, or the TV show So You Think You Can Dance.

What field are you in? When you feel an emotion or pinpoint a belief, ask yourself “Is this me?” Is this a commonly held belief in society? Is it from how I was raised? Are these my true feelings? Do I want to keep what I believe or let it go? Let go of what isn’t yours!

When we were discussing this in our study group the question was asked about the old saying “better safe than sorry”. I asked myself what percentage of that belief is from society. What is from my family? What percent left is mine? I let go of the society and family energy. A very small portion was my own perception of this saying, which to me meant being safe not sorry is living with limitations. I want to live without limiting myself from the many possibilities available to me. Yet others brought up that keeping their belief was a good thing for them because it kept them from doing dangerous things. Most importantly, just check in with yourself and see where the belief is coming from – from others or is it truly your own. You can decide either way if it’s worth keeping or changing. Wouldn’t you hate to think you were really controlled by outside invisible forces rather than making choices yourself?

Let go of what isn’t yours, have fun and enjoy the rest of the summer,
Bonnie

I remember as a child loving to watch bubbles for fun, I would shake the water (and soda) or stir it with my straw in a clear glass. I didn’t mind a little “shaking up” — it didn’t happen that often then as it does now. I’d watch the bubbles disappear and the liquid become as clear as the glass container it was in. It was like the bubbles were never there and it had never been shaken up at all. Was the water or soda exactly the same after that? Probably not. Although I could see the bubbles were gone, I knew the mixture was different than it was before the “shake up” even if we couldn’t taste the difference.

More Water Shake Ups

Every morning I listen to a brief part of GMA on the TV and get the updates on the devastating disaster in the Gulf. I feel sad and worried. But, I believe it’s time to shake up and change up how we are thinking about this water situation. I know there’s a lot of finger pointing at who’s to blame and what isn’t being done to remedy the situation. It’s easy to blame and equally easy to feel helpless. I think it’s time to shake up our thoughts about this situation. We all have a responsibility in this. Many of us in varying degrees have had a focus on keeping our lives the same. In not believing we have the time to think about or support looking for or utilize more natural resources. In keeping our eyes on the money, material outcomes and how change might affect us. The oil spill has happened. Many times it takes a shake-up for change to happen. As individuals, how can we promote a positive change? If you want to do something that will make a difference for you and for the Gulf, then shake up your old thoughts, emotions and fears… and try something new! These words are from Masaru Emoto who has conducted experiments on the effects of thoughts and words on formation of water crystals. Thoughts can change the structure of water. Emoto has suggested that we say this Hawaiian healing prayer of forgiveness in regard to the Gulf situation. Take a moment right now by reading this with the intention of positive change.

“Now let’s give the energy of love and gratitude to all the living creatures in the Gulf of Mexico by praying like this:

To whales, dolphins, pelicans, fishes, shellfishes, planktons, corals, algae
and all creatures of The Gulf of Mexico
(you could also add all harmed by this)
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.”

I have received this prayer from several different people. I leave it out and say it during the day when I see it (it’s on my printer) and at mealtime.

With gratitude, love and forgiveness,
Bonnie
PS What relationship would you like to change- your relationship with someone or something? Go into your heart think of the situation and say the same 4 phrase above.

Have you ever felt the invisible energy of change like the strength of a full blown hurricane? This morning I woke up knowing I wanted to change my schedule in a way that would make me feel comforted and peaceful – this after hurricane force winds-of-change in my life last week. The winds of change may feel different to everyone but they all have a consistent theme – change. You may feel it in shake-ups in your work or in your family. Or you may feel it as a change of heart about what you want to do or not do anymore. In the last blog I wrote about making a small change in your routine to do things to bring more fun and lightness to your life. When you change your routine or do something just a bit differently, even if it’s a small change, it can give you a sense of grounding if you need it. Or space for creativity and finding a new solution. Or even a feeling of being okay. During change, it’s all about finding that place of peace inside and being able to see things from another perspective. Although, it may seem inconsequential in some ways, these last few weeks we all have been affected by something. For many reasons this year this force has had tremendous influence on us, whether we are aware of it and believe in it or not. I am referring to the Summer Solstice, or the longest day of the year. In ancient times the Summer Solstice started as a time of celebration marking the beginning of summer. You may be wondering how the longest day of the year (June 21st), which starts one of the most playful times of the year, is heralding change with the force of a full-blown hurricane. As I’m sure you can attest to, change has been around us in large doses these last few years. We see it in the news and we feel it in our personal lives. You may have felt it inside as a desire to live with less stress, let go of a relationship that’s not working, or being able to sleep instead of being kept awake by worry as many of my clients have been.

For me, the hurricane this week was finding out that the business I do contract work for is closing after three months of uncertainty. To make it worse, we had to sit and listen to a three hour board meeting which seemed like having surgery without anesthesia. But, the truth is everyone will be better off in another place. Next on the list, my daughter was side-swiped in her brand new SUV at a stop sign – thank goodness she is fine. Also my mother had surgery and unexpectedly the results indicated she has to have a second much more involved surgery. She is amazing and will move with grace through it. That is what she believes with her deep faith – and so it will be. Additionally, at the end of the week one of my three closest friends who had birthdays this week had one of the worst days of her life on her birthday but fortunately it turned around with unexpected gifts and fairy-like magic.

Yes, the “hurricane” is certainly in full force, the winds are blowing everything around. The energy of change has been making its presence known. In those trying and frightening moments it would have been easy (believe me, really easy) to miss the positive changes that were being born, brought about by the change. But they were there also. Haven’t you felt those moments when the world is falling down all around you and it feels like it’s all lost, when deep inside you know it’s not? One positive change that manifested this week was the often asked question about the expansion I have desired in my business. A wonderful confirmation showed itself to me in unexpected ways. The seeds had been planted and were growing from my intentions and desires without my conscious awareness. You’ll be hearing more about this in my ezines in the next month or two.

The gift I want to share with you is of thinking there may be more possibilities than the obvious one. What might seem “negative” or “bad” may not be that at all. It’s possible it’s a much needed change that will bring improvement. It could be something that makes you feel better despite the winds. Maybe it will be the answer you were looking for.

So today I thank the energy of the solstice which is supporting us to ride the winds of change into something more joyful and peaceful in our inner worlds and on the planet. I thank myself for exercising, eating my breakfast and getting back into bed in my sunlit bedroom to write this blog where I feel comforted and at peace. Most importantly, my wish for you is to make a small change…something that will support you in seeing the winds of change differently. How can the winds of change move you in the direction of what you want? How can you find that place of less worry and more connection? Even though you may think it won’t work, change up your routine, find some time to nurture yourself! I promise it works every time, but don’t forget to look and feel what’s different afterwards. Follow the dots. They may lead somewhere really surprising and wonderful.

Happy Summer of change,
Bonnie

Is your life starting to feel like you’re always on automatic? If it is, don’t panic, being on automatic pilot isn’t always a bad thing. Doing things automatically and having routines allows us to get what we need to get accomplished more easily. It would be difficult if you had to stop and think about every little detail of what you had to do each day before your feet touched the floor in the morning. You would be exhausted (even more tired than you may already be). I just want to make sure you don’t fall into what I call “empty syndrome”. You know you have “empty syndrome” when you feel vacant from your life and almost everything you do is mechanical and routine. Or if your daily gratitudes become automatic and stale. Or if the things you used to enjoy have become mundane and now you think of them as just one more thing to put on you’re overloaded schedule. If you already have “empty syndrome”, I can help you get out! The good news is summer is a really wonderful time to break out of your usual routines or prevent having an overly full on-automatic-pilot life. During the summer there’s always a sense of freedom in the air. Your routine may change out of necessity as the kids are home from school. But why not use that as a chance to be creative with your time and theirs. Even without having to care for children, everyone seems a bit lighter during the summer, so take this opportunity to take back your life.

So how do you change your tried and true routines that almost run on their own? Pick something simple and do it a different way. Switch around the order of how you do things or choose an entirely new routine to accomplish the same outcome. If you always work out the same way, find something totally different to get the same good results. If you always watch TV during or after dinner, watch TV before. Maybe listen to music one night a week instead. Try squeezing your toothpaste from the opposite end of the tube. Drive a different route to the store or work. Buy some unusual foods or even a new brand. Visit a new ice cream parlor with the kids or just try an unusual flavor of ice cream! Yes, change can be strange for a little while but you are guaranteed to make wondrous discoveries with every alteration you make. The whole idea is to be more present in the moment, not on the automatic-no-thinking-mode, so you can get back into feeling your life! Happiness is right there for you. Sometimes you just have to get out of the familiar and grab it.

Choosing the feeling life,
Bonnie

Is there a connection between play and murder? There really is one; you’ll find the answer as you finish reading this blog. After another training session in Matrix Energetics where everything is considered “play” – including playing while taking in consideration conditions such as cancer and other serious aliments many people suffer from – I understood even more clearly the power of play. (During a Matrix Session they didn’t take “the condition” lightly,but the session was structured in a light and playful manner yielding amazing results.)  When your focus is light-hearted and even fun, your focus is shifted away from the problem and more “space” is created for healing. As I follow the path of how fun makes life easier, I want to share it with you. It’s a simple way to make a change in your life without having to “work” at it. My deepest desire is to support you in increasing your ability to have a life you would choose, to be happier, have life be  less chaotic and more peaceful. And, play and fun is a great place to start. (Don’t forget you will be healthier and more productive when you play). Because my clients have really experienced how The Fun Factor plays into productivity, I have been led in a direction of finding more supporting evidence on the benefits of play and fun, which is what this week’s blog is all about.

My Fun – What’s Yours?

I have found one of the things I loved as a kid and many of you may might have loved too (I know I mentioned it before) was hula hooping. Here in Florida hula hooping seems to be an up and coming new sport. Even though it may take some effort, there are great benefits from playing with a hula hoop. Who thought whirling your hips in odd directions and sometimes looking incredibly silly could increase your memory, your mood, your biceps and your core? And, it’s fun! A bit of a workout, but fun!!! I always feel energized afterward. Why is this fun to me? I love my purple and gold adult hula hoop. It reminds me of the fun I had as a child. I was good at it then. It makes me happy. I laugh. Believe it or not, creative ideas pop into my head about all kinds of things during and after I hoop. I feel good about taking care of my body. I actually think it’s a joke on me. I’m exercising but it’s fun. An oxymoron for sure for me.

For those of you who may be a “type-A personality”, keep reading. Playing and or fooling around will activate creativity and passion, transferring literally to other aspects of your life including work, how you relate to your friends, family and your marriage. According to the American Medical Association, “When you take a vacation from work — even a four-day weekend — you are more inventive, productive and healthier (fewer sick days) when you return,” says Stuart Brown, MD, a researcher for The National Institute for Play. Yes, there really is one! A pioneer in research on play, Brown says, “Humor, games, roughhousing, flirtation and fantasy are more than just fun. Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age”.

The Research

Dr. Stuart Brown’s research “shows play is not just joyful and energizing — it’s deeply involved with human development and intelligence.” I was thrilled to hear his suggestion to “explore backwards and go to the most clear, joyful image you have” in your life and remember playing, whether it’s an activity or toy, and feel the emotion. The next step is to think: how can you relate that emotion to your life now? Another aspect of what I wrote about in the F… Factor. The emotion is what you are looking for, that’s the link and the power of play.

Why, why, why play? Because it makes your life happier. You are more productive and more creative. You will find yourself with a pure and wonderful sense of wellbeing. Playing can lead you to your passions and the next step in your life. I know what you are thinking: play, sure, sure, sure. But, the bottom line is you’ll like your life more. Brown says the opposite of play is not work, it’s “depression.”

By the way, Stuart found after looking at murderers’ profiles that they were “play deprived.” More research is pointing to a child’s development being enhanced or curtailed by the opportunities to play or not.

Have a Fun Memorial Day Weekend!

Enjoy some guilt-free playing—you will enjoy your life more,

Bonnie

PS Join the fun and Post your favorite (legal) fun and play activities-the ones you enjoy yourself or the play activities you enjoy with your children or grandchildren.  Explain the activity, how you felt and if you noticed any benefit from your playtime.

PPS Do you want to know when this blog is updated? You can sign up at the box in the right column and get an email notifying you.

The word that starts with an “F” isn’t that word. However I am talking about another word that may still seem like a “dirty word” to some people. Can you guess what it is? It came up twice in 24 hours for me in two completely different scenarios. Here’s how it started. Last weekend I had created some space and time and I thought…

“What can I do for…” Yes, you probably have guessed it now. I wondered what I could do for FUN! I know last year I bought some chalk and an artist’s pad. I dibbled a bit on it, but the delicious upwelling of really having fun didn’t happen. So after a while I put the art supplies away. But I still wanted to have some fun. So I thought to myself, “What else gives me an uplifting feeling?” For me, creating something is fun and two weeks ago I started contemplating how to make simple window treatments for my bedroom windows. That satisfied some of the fun factor for me. However, it wasn’t quite enough.

Why is it so hard for me to create fun in my life? (I don’t have a problem if you suggest something fun. If you create it, I will go along for the ride.) I was talking to Mary, one of my wise friends and colleagues. We talked about creating our days and lives with ease and grace. You know I’m all about that. But, I often forget as I put my intentions out there to ask for fun. Why? As my friend Mary (delphicwave.com) said, some of us aren’t wired or programmed for having fun. We have other genetics but the fun strand of genes isn’t there. When they were calling for those who wanted fun in this life, I must have thought they said “run” and missed out. Nevertheless, all isn’t lost. Mary and I discussed thinking about the feeling of fun as a start to take us into our personal fun factor. We all can remember having fun and how it felt. It was easier for me when my children were little and when I saw children in my counseling practice. No wonder I loved thinking of things that were fun for the children – I was looking for fun!

Some of you may be thinking, “How can she be writing about fun in this uncertain, turbulent world?” Did you know that fun is a necessary ingredient to your health and happiness? It’s crucial during times of turbulence and change to combat the effects of stress. We don’t want to raise our children to only have fun electronically. Playing is a key ingredient to problem solving and creativity. Did you know there are businesses that have game rooms and devoted time to play? Did you know there are stories of people curing themselves of cancer by having fun and laughing while watching movies? It’s also a different way to live. A way to live that brings us closer to why we are on this planet. Living on purpose, being our true selves and enjoying our unique special gifts and passions are not supposed to be work! Wouldn’t it be nice to live each day with a bit more fun in life? I’m up for that! Are you? A first step may be to start your day adding to your intention to remember having fun. Then ask for more of that please…

If you have children or grandchildren, get on the floor and play! (No, not video games.) Go out and really have fun. Go to the zoo, blow bubbles, play ball – anything that feels like fun and brings a smile to your face.

To help those of us with the non dominant fun gene, why don’t you post your healthy, fun activities so we can get some fun ideas!

Bonnie

P.S. Almost every time my husband and I go on vacation, he gets a call from his assistant who says another “case” coming in (he does custody evaluations and reviews, so it like other businesses with ups in downs in the income stream), while he is having fun NOT working.

Ugly Duckling or Swan?

Who thought swans would be the refresher with a message? After going to the dentist, I decided I needed to recharge my batteries and enjoy a bit of nature before my next coaching session. I stopped by a nearby park with a lake and a lovely view. I found a towel in the car. (I had my husband’s car so I didn’t have my beach chair in the trunk.) It was one of the beautiful days of spring before the heat of our Florida summer. I thought it would be lovely to just sit and enjoy some peace and quiet.

As I headed to a familiar part of the park, I heard the laughing and playful voices of children, many children. I love the sounds of children’s voices but after hearing drilling at the dentist I just wanted quiet. I headed towards the other end of lake. As I sat down on my little towel, my attention was caught by the swans. At this lake you can rent swan boats and you usually see swans, but the swans I saw first were in pairs and they were black! I had never seen black swans before. Maybe I just live a sheltered life. Who knows? They were a beautiful sight.

I enjoyed the swans that, on this particular day, were traversing the water in pairs. Two pairs of black swans and next a pair of swans with black necks and white bodies both perfectly matched. Then finally I saw the white swans. It was lovely to watch them gracefully float on the water. I have never seen birds so gracefully catch and swallow fish. Although I only stayed a short while, I felt a welling up in my heart of joy, just watching the ease and loveliness of the swans.

As many of you know animals can be symbols and represent certain ideas. I thought about the traditional ugly duckling story that recognizes they are a beautiful swan. That is a wonderful metaphor for our ability to really recognize when we accept ourselves we become ‘beautiful” and graceful because we aren’t trying to be something we aren’t. Being yourself is much easier. I also wanted to know more so I looked up the animal message of swans. So here they are: “begin to realize your own true beauty”. Then I looked up black swan: “represents love, both self love and romantic love, happiness in yourself, the healing power of love and miracles”.

I think the message is obvious but maybe not. You choose – no one else does. Are you an ugly duckling or a swan? Be your authentic self without hesitation. Your journey will be easier and more graceful. Remember the healing power of love and look for miracles.

Remember the message of the swans,

Bonnie