Archive for the ‘work life balance’ Category

In some places it’s hot enough to cook and burn an egg on the pavement! Looking at the weather map, this heat blankets our entire country. So I’m sure you’re feeling it.

My question to you is:  Are you adding to the hot external temperatures by turning on the heat and burning up from the inside without realizing it?

Are you Turning Up the Heat from the Inside
3 Questions

Are you pushing on despite the heat – and it being summertime – and ignoring the message to slow down so you can cool down?

Are you ready for the kids to go back to school and yet dread fall, instead of being in the moment and creating joyful times and memories?

Are you saying later, later for a few minutes of quiet solitude that would cool down your body and mind?

How to Turn Down the Heat
3 Ideas

Consider letting one thing go and know that it’s taken care of or will be later. Everything isn’t a priority and doesn’t have to be done right now. Breathe deeply, let go of the nagging voice and know with conviction that doing this will make your life easier.

There are always positive moments in the worst of situations. Are you just tired and need a moment of peace? (see the next idea) Find those positive moments and focus on them. This will change your perception and feelings and turn down the inner heat and agitation. Remember to look for positive changes inside yourself and those around you.

Take advantage of how your body works. Research says women are wired for being able to de-stress more easily than men. However, the chemicals in your body support you in de-stressing more quickly when you take time for yourself. Pick up a novel and read for 15 or 20 minutes! Close the door, put your feet up and do nothing – just focus on breathing (novel idea). Pour yourself a cool drink (a great smoothie or a flavored ice tea) and just take time to drink it – alone! And, most importantly look for those thoughts that heat you up and cool them down by letting them go.

Turn down the heat and stay cool,
Bonnie

Ugly Duckling or Swan?

Who thought swans would be the refresher with a message? After going to the dentist, I decided I needed to recharge my batteries and enjoy a bit of nature before my next coaching session. I stopped by a nearby park with a lake and a lovely view. I found a towel in the car. (I had my husband’s car so I didn’t have my beach chair in the trunk.) It was one of the beautiful days of spring before the heat of our Florida summer. I thought it would be lovely to just sit and enjoy some peace and quiet.

As I headed to a familiar part of the park, I heard the laughing and playful voices of children, many children. I love the sounds of children’s voices but after hearing drilling at the dentist I just wanted quiet. I headed towards the other end of lake. As I sat down on my little towel, my attention was caught by the swans. At this lake you can rent swan boats and you usually see swans, but the swans I saw first were in pairs and they were black! I had never seen black swans before. Maybe I just live a sheltered life. Who knows? They were a beautiful sight.

I enjoyed the swans that, on this particular day, were traversing the water in pairs. Two pairs of black swans and next a pair of swans with black necks and white bodies both perfectly matched. Then finally I saw the white swans. It was lovely to watch them gracefully float on the water. I have never seen birds so gracefully catch and swallow fish. Although I only stayed a short while, I felt a welling up in my heart of joy, just watching the ease and loveliness of the swans.

As many of you know animals can be symbols and represent certain ideas. I thought about the traditional ugly duckling story that recognizes they are a beautiful swan. That is a wonderful metaphor for our ability to really recognize when we accept ourselves we become ‘beautiful” and graceful because we aren’t trying to be something we aren’t. Being yourself is much easier. I also wanted to know more so I looked up the animal message of swans. So here they are: “begin to realize your own true beauty”. Then I looked up black swan: “represents love, both self love and romantic love, happiness in yourself, the healing power of love and miracles”.

I think the message is obvious but maybe not. You choose – no one else does. Are you an ugly duckling or a swan? Be your authentic self without hesitation. Your journey will be easier and more graceful. Remember the healing power of love and look for miracles.

Remember the message of the swans,

Bonnie

Shifting thoughts have really moved the bubble of reality for me, and for those around me, in wonderful ways. In the last blog, I wrote about being able to shift your bubble of reality and I wanted to share a few stories with you. A teenager I coached recently was angry and very upset – until and her bubble of reality shifted. What changed for her? When she saw the possibility that what had been said to her, although hurtful and downright rude, was really not true! She didn’t have to buy into the hurt and angry reality.

Yesterday I had one of those days, like the teenager above, shifting my bubble. It started out with someone, where I do some contract work, putting their head down and mumbling, “Good morning.” I could hear it was not a good morning. Was it me? Maybe? Or maybe not!

Then later in the day I presented a program to support for staff in their work environment – something I was very excited about.

However, my bubble didn’t shift – it popped. Although the administrator was positive and open, she shared when some of the staff heard about the time commitment for the program I had created for them, they were resistant to participating. I felt I had gone above and beyond in creating this program to support them! So my bubble fell to the floor, popped and subsequently disappeared. I was really disappointed.

How did I let that happen? You guessed it! I didn’t shift my thoughts, when I received the feedback about some of the staff’s reaction and my bubble melted on the ground. I didn’t give myself any “wiggle room” – that energetic space where physical realities change, as Dr. Bartlett talks about in his books Matrix Energetics and The Physics of a Miracle.

It took me a bit to get another bubble in the air, but I did it. The breath that let this new bubble grow and airlift in it’s shift, was looking for what I was truly feeling and then changing my thoughts. I also had a deep conviction and belief there had to be other realities I could shift and move into and let go of where I was. I let go of my attachment to the outcome (will they choose to get involved with the program I created) and let go of the story that what I was offering wasn’t valuable. Whew! What a relief to let it go!

Most importantly, as I shifted my bubble of reality, I feel peaceful and knew that whatever happens happens. Being peaceful is really the intention. When we are in a peaceful state of well-being that’s where where the miracles are.
How are you shifting your bubble of reality? Post and tell us.

Here’s to beautiful bubbles floating in the air with many colorful and wonderful realities. You can choose!

Bonnie

Three critically, important questions can pave the way for your success this year. I have read, coached (Empowerparties.com) and experienced the success of these powerful questions. I believe you’ll find they will give you a more direct connection to your dreams and intentions as you move into 2010. After you have asked these questions add another dimension. Make your desires visible through writing and pictures. This starts creating your new reality for the year. The first question to ask yourself is: “How or what was successful for me in 2009 and why?” The answer to this question is vital to your success. This isn’t as much about what you did, as it is about the components that made you successful in achieving your desired outcome. The second questions is: “What would I do differently in the areas I didn’t achieve the success I desired?” This isn’t about blame and shame. It’s just an evaluation of events. The third question to ask yourself is: “What do I have to support me to be successful that I didn’t have in place last year?” To reach new goals and intentions we have do and be different. These are really dynamic and powerful questions to guide you in keeping what worked and changing what didn’t. After you have pondered and written down your answers you are then ready to start to create a plan for success this year. Have fun. Here are a few of my favorite support “things”.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Over the holidays I once again watched the musical The Sound of Music. I love the song My Favorite Things “Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens …”. The song gave me the idea to share with you a few of my favorite things to shift my inner and out worlds for success, peace and change. I wanted to share them with you to support you in realizing your dreams and making 2010 the success you desire.

Of course one of my new favorites is something here at SerenityPathways, The Virtual Spa® Gift Package. This new three month Virtual Spa® Membership gives you access to the many rooms in the spa filled with ways to relax, release, and refresh yourself 24/7. A new addition to the membership gift package are daily one minute audios. Many of my coaching clients have said they would love to put me in their pocket to carry with them between sessions. (I think it might be a bit dark and crowded in someone’s pocket:)) So added I added an extra feature to the three month membership in the spa. Every day, for three months, not only will you have access to over 24 rooms in The Virtual Spa® and get a spa weekly tip filled with great ideas to nurture your body and soul … you will have your Spa Coach (yes, that’s me) in your pocket everyday, with an inspirational one minute audio boost coming to your email daily and a gentle reminder to visit the spa!

Not Just Any Harp Music

I have had Amy’s magical and healing music in my home for 6 years. I have also had the honor and joy of recording a CD with Amy. Amy’s music has been healing, calming and transformational in my life, my families, clients and friends. The research behind the relaxing and healing that can occur while listening (the body can heal once it is in a relaxed state) of these CDs is just amazing. These two are my current favorites and have gotten me through the tough times and relaxed and balanced me in my daily life. http://www.serenitypathways.com/relaxation.htm (For her full collection visit AmyCamie.com)

Elyse Hope Killoran, President of Choosing Prosperity From the Inside Out

Our journey (my husband and I) began or continued in Elyse’s Prosperity Partnership Program – a powerful “place” for spiritual business owners and anyone on the spiritual path especially if you want to move forward in your life or business. The offerings from Elyse can support you in being the person who can align with your innate ability to create prosperity…from the inside-out. The Anchoring Prosperity CD is a great way to start visualizing your intentions, seeing yourself being where you want to be in 2010. It is a CD you will listen to many times over! To find out more visit: http://prosperityportal.com/ or http://choosingprosperity.com

For Parents

Tami Gulland is a wonderful colleague and friend. She is an empathic and talented coach and parent of two children. I have had the awesome opportunity to witness some of her incredible ability for transformation and miracles in families close to me.

Restore Harmony Within Your Home and Family with Tami Gulland

Positive Psychology is something that has really pulled me up and into who I am. It changed the way where I started with clients in counseling and where I always start in my coaching practice. I found that part of self nurturing is to find your gifts and strengths which leads to stronger relationships, paves the way to move through challenges more easily and is the natural path to happiness in life.

Here are some of my favorite links to finding your strengths and gifts and claiming your happiness now!
www.AuthenticHappiness.com
www.viacharacter.org
At these two sites you can start finding the best of who you are as you identify your gifts and strengths.
HappinessProject.com I haven’t bought the book yet, but you can be sure I will.

Books I couldn’t leave out!

Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson

I love how she found the science on why how positive thoughts and 10 minutes of quiet can change your daily reality from chaos to more ease.

Happy for No Reason
Marci Shimoff did a fabulous job of bringing happiness to a level that everyone can understand.

My newest favorite is The Physics of Miracles by Richard Bartlett. Don’t read this one unless you want to start changing your world. It is a bit mind boggling what we can change by just connecting “two points of light”.

Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Connor
A friend and someone I have watched totally transform her life living Writing Down Your Soul. This is a must for anyone who wants personal guidance and enjoys writing. In February, Janet will teach you more secrets about harnessing your writing and guidance in a new course called Plug In! The Intersection for Writers and Other Creatives.
This ten-week teleseries is unlike anything else. It is the first in-depth exploration of The Intersection and it is designed specifically for writers, speakers, and other creatives. It merges new and very powerful spiritual practices with your craft infusing your work with access to limitless creativity and guidance. The result? You create a unique message that cannot help but find its expression in the world. All you have to do is Plug In to the incredible power of The Intersection.

I could continue but I said just a few of my favorite things. I would love if you would post a comment and share one of your favorite “things” that have inspired you and supported you in your success. “Rain drops on roses …”

Enjoy your success in 2010,
Bonnie

Yes, you can find peace in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, if you really want it. Even if there is a sadness in your heart, you can discover peace during this holiday season.

The other day I was reminded of this as I watched a dove take it’s winged grace into the air. (We have doves here around our house in Florida.) I love watching the doves, hearing them coo and knowing of the peace they can bring. In some sad moments today the energy of the doves cleared my way to more peace.

Historically, and in many faith traditions, doves are known as a symbol of peace. They are also known in Animal Totem medicine as a symbol of the peace of grace. It doesn’t matter where you live, you can capture the energy of the dove’s profound peace wherever you live and especially now in the season of light, peace and love.

I knew doves were associated with peace and love but I didn’t know that doves were also associated with giving.    It’s important for all of us to Let go of the notion there’s not enough time. This season and as you move into the new year, let “giving” to yourself  be one of your gifts.

Whenever you slip into the energy of chaos and desire the delicious comforting sense of peace….think of the dove energy.   It’s never too late to give to yourself.  Make a choice to  make things simpler.  Or give yourself a “time out”.  Be quiet before you head out shopping, wrapping, or cooking.  Trust your intuition; you know what you need. Those few self-nurturing moments have a big payoff in the grand scheme of things. And don’t forget to breathe in thankfulness for whatever you love and that is dear to you this holiday!

When you finish reading this blog take a moment, close your eyes and visualize or imagine beautiful doves of peace soaring and floating gently across the skies.  Imagine the serenity they bring as they noiselessly flap their wings, stilling your thoughts and bringing a true sense of tranquilly to you.  Just breathe in the tranquility!  Everything will fall into order.  Let it sink in before you open your eyes to the sights and sounds of this very precious season.

Wishing you all the peace of the doves,’

Bonnie

Did you know you can use your five senses to de-stress this holiday? Yes, you really can! How many times have you heard “Don’t focus on the material world…. there is more here than you can see?” I certainly have found that thought to be true.

I believe it’s important to look beyond what’s in front of you.  I also believe there is a lot to be said for using all your senses. One of the most fun and powerful ways to reduce anxiety about all you have to do is to use your five senses of smell, taste, hearing, touch and sight to take time in the moment.  Appreciate what you’re doing right now….yes,  savor what you doing. It may sound silly,  but savoring isn’t just for the enjoyment of food.  I have found (as many others have found in research studies) that savoring really works to enhance your sense of wellbeing and to reduce stress.   I love savoring because you can do it anywhere, any any time and with anything. Savoring is simply gratitude in the moment.

When you use your five senses to really take in and pay attention to what you’re doing and what is around you your sense of peace expands and stress starts to dissolve even during the super busy times. When you savor it frees you up from the “thought struggle” and worry about you have to do next.  Savoring keeps your left brain happy and content with “doing”. You can’t run a to-do list in your head and savor at the same time. Savoring allows your right brain the free space for relaxation or creativity to seep in resulting in surprising possibilities.  Savoring fills your holidays with joyful, precious times and a full treasure chest of the gems of beautiful memories.

As I get ready to take out the boxes for the holiday decorations, I remember even the process can be savored. When I stayed focused and savored the job of decorating last year, time seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was finished; sitting, enjoying the transformation.  Savoring really helped me enjoy the process of decorating ……….not to just enjoy the results.

As I take bring in the holiday decorations this year, I will be smiling instead of dreading it. (I no longer focus on how much work it is or how much I still have to do.)  Any feelings of stress will slip away as I savor and enjoy new emotions surfacing this year. Yes, you guessed it.  I will be feeling gratitude and contentment.

12 Easy Savoring Tips for Less Stress and More Joy

• Take in the colorful sights in the grocery store and look for smiling faces
• Stop for a moment to feast your eyes on the sights of your creations
• Really be in the moment and appreciate the changes around you
• Notice the small details while you are involved in a task
• Look for moments to enjoy the sounds of laughter; watch for moments of joy
• Fill yourself up with the sounds and music of the season
• In the malls look deeper than the commercialism and notice the kindness around
• Make your shopping experience one you like. Savor your gift choices. Focus on the joy of your gift recipient
• Give your full attention when you spend time with your family and friends
• Help your children make a game out of whatever they have to do
• Focus on the positive and savor every moment of harmony
• Relax and savor just a few minutes of pure peace and quiet to rejuvenate yourself

(yes, you can find those few moments) Visit the spa at SerenityPathways.com

Savoring lifts your mood and protects your health. Savoring helps erase the hassled and rushed feelings we often have during the holiday season.

What do the first letters of the words above spell? Yes, you knew it—B.U.S.Y.! There is busy and then there is B.U.S.Y. Feeling B.U.S.Y. is feeling like you’re on the bottom, underneath the pile of to-dos weighing you down, stressed—thinking about what isn’t going to get done and then. . .the really yucky feelings creep into the pit of your stomach. Need I go on?  I caught myself in that trap this morning after starting a new two-day-a-week work opportunity (which I’m grateful and very appreciative of having).

I really thought this morning my inspired priorities were in order.  But, when I started to think of the top one on my list (a new task list added to the already long list–finding my Social Security card, which I needed so I could send a copy to my new contracting company so I could get paid) I felt the yucky feelings start to creep in. I wasn’t able to locate it when I looked before a late dinner last night, on top of knowing all I had to accomplish today after being out of my office.  Being the de-stress queen I knew I had a choice.  I could keep feeling like I was propelled out of a cannon ball and get aggravated OR de-stress myself.

The Power of De-Stressing

I make the choice I know works the best for me: de-stress and connect.  I focused on breathing. . .I breathed deeply in and out of my nose for a least 30 seconds. Then the pit in my stomach released. (I reminded myself how my brain, and yours, gets locked up when we are stressed and clear thinking gets put to the side.) I also remembered how when I’m able to flow more freely without worrying how the most important things on my inspired list seem to get done. Although quite frankly, I’m not always sure how they gets done. In fact sometimes it truly amazes me.

Once I reached the driveway it occurred to me to look through our files again.  Sure enough, there was a second folder with important papers in it that I had missed the previous evening.  Viola! There was my Social Security card.

What do you do?

I’m really interested in what your favorite de-stressor is. How do you keep yourself grounded with all you have to do?  They can be serious, fun or just practical. Blog and tell us what your favorite (healthy) de-stressor is.  It’s great to share so everyone benefits! We will choose the top 3 most unique or best de-stressing tips and send you a gift.  So please put your email in your blog response so we can contact you by email if you are a winner.

How many times have you thought “I don’t have enough time to make a change, shift my thoughts to a more positive one or to do something different that I know would help?  Or how about the thought, “There are only 24 hours in a day?” (You have to whine a bit as you say that.)  If you don’t have control of your time, who does? I know we all have been caught with those thoughts of overwhelm and not enough time. On the other hand, have you ever been involved in a project where time flew by or, the opposite, you had so little to do you were bored?  What happened to time in those cases?  We have to live by the clock or “time” in some ways but how about……

…….energy management instead of time management.  It’s really all in your head how you think about time. I can hear you! Yes, there is a never-ending list of things in our overly busy and overwhelming world.  That isn’t going to change.  However, you can make an inside shift in your thoughts, you can watch your outside world change–even if is just a little bit.

For example, when you wake up jarred with an alarm or loud music, and then jump out of bed with a startle, it’s hard for your physical body to catch up with the inner wiser part of you. So try this before you get out of bed in the morning.  Take time in the morning to get your energy grounded and present in your body.  (You may want to catch those last drifts of important information from your sleep time, first.) When you’re a bit more awake, focus on your body–be gentle and allow yourself a few minutes to connect with yourself in the waking state.  Some people express gratitudes or thanks for the day.  Then ask, “What the priorities are for today? How can I use my energy most effectively today?”  Listen or write it down!  (This may come from your list that has a million to dos that would most likely fill a calendar for a month rather than a day.)

Next is my favorite part of this whole process.  It works so very, very well. Before you get out of bed ask yourself what strengths or gifts you have that would help you today?  Imagine that strength or gift filling you up, starting in the heart and circulating through your body. (Notice when that gift comes into play during your day.)

When you get out of bed and face the mirror (okay fine, don’t look in the mirror; do it on your way to the bathroom or brushing your hair), take a few deep breaths. Breathing helps all the thousands of processes in your physical body, connects your body and mind, and raises your energy.  This should only take a few minutes.  (If you are night person, you’ll want to ask for the priorities the night before and visualize your gifts then.)  Engaging in this process is one of the stepping stones on the Natural Path to Happiness©.

Try starting each day with this quick energy management shifter before you get out of bed. Then visit our blog and tell us what happened.  Making a shift is about you making a choice to take a few extra minutes to maximize your energy.  Taking time for you and choosing to take steps to self-nurture yourself is one only you can make. It’s all about energy management.  Some days we are much better at this than others.

Lastly, don’t forget to employ good “time and energy management” and organizational skills; check your email at designated times; keep some kind of list of what you need to do each day and for the week, label the most important etc. You can’t do it all. Ask yourself: Can I delegate something? What do I need to let go of and what do I keep? Is there a more efficient way to do things.

Shift your thoughts, manage your energy and watch for the miracles.

Happy quick and easy shifting,

Bonnie

P.S. After you have mastered that,  how can you make room for the next thing you want to do and have been putting off?

Relationships-We all know to enjoy them and have fun……we just forget!  Enjoy this one minute video of true friends and fun.  Remember the kid inside of you. ( I am not sure how they got some of those shots.) Remember the fun of being with friends. Call a friend this weekend-you’ll release those good chemicals, feel happier and be healthier!

http://tr.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2B_d_eBI6g

This will make you smile! Your boost for the day.

Happy Friday,

Bonnie

PS We are going dancing tonight. I can’t wait to have fun and meet new people.

 I know many times we get overwhelmed coping with all the change going on in our lives.  Even the routine changes can deplete our  energy. Taking the time to find and expand your social support systems  and making connections take some time.  This is so very important.  It lights you up!

Kathryn Britton writes in her article “We can rewire our brains in new ways, but doing so requires repeatedly performing new behaviors, over and over, and repeatedly stopping the reinforcement of old behaviors that had become automatic. People tend to have a small budget of energy for intentional change so they need to be selective.”  However, it’s really not as hard as you think. It’s more about being aware and making a different choice until it becomes a habit.  Be selective and use your energy to stay or create positive connections..

Enjoy! This article was written at the beginning of the year, however, it has all the ingredients for how to make changes. She weaves in both practical ideas and research.  (copy and paste urlhttp://pos-psych.com/news/kathryn-britton/200901071414)

So what are you going to do to stay connected today?

Staying connected,

Bonnie

P.S. I’ m calling the dance studio today!