Archive for the ‘Making Connections’ Category

Just a  thought to take the pressure off yourself today. There is no way you can do it all. There is just no way! So what do you do?
Let go of:

• Perfectionism-this is self abuse

• I shoulds

• What will people think

• Thinking if you don’t do things they will go to ……

Instead go inside and ask?

• What’s really important today?

• How can I play or have fun?

• How can I be gentler on myself?

• What can I let go of today?

Today and this weekend find time to play.
Remember what The Cat in Hat said,
Don’t let this day….
Go without play….
(just kidding about the Cat in the Hat but he would say that ) Bonnie

Ugly Duckling or Swan?

Who thought swans would be the refresher with a message? After going to the dentist, I decided I needed to recharge my batteries and enjoy a bit of nature before my next coaching session. I stopped by a nearby park with a lake and a lovely view. I found a towel in the car. (I had my husband’s car so I didn’t have my beach chair in the trunk.) It was one of the beautiful days of spring before the heat of our Florida summer. I thought it would be lovely to just sit and enjoy some peace and quiet.

As I headed to a familiar part of the park, I heard the laughing and playful voices of children, many children. I love the sounds of children’s voices but after hearing drilling at the dentist I just wanted quiet. I headed towards the other end of lake. As I sat down on my little towel, my attention was caught by the swans. At this lake you can rent swan boats and you usually see swans, but the swans I saw first were in pairs and they were black! I had never seen black swans before. Maybe I just live a sheltered life. Who knows? They were a beautiful sight.

I enjoyed the swans that, on this particular day, were traversing the water in pairs. Two pairs of black swans and next a pair of swans with black necks and white bodies both perfectly matched. Then finally I saw the white swans. It was lovely to watch them gracefully float on the water. I have never seen birds so gracefully catch and swallow fish. Although I only stayed a short while, I felt a welling up in my heart of joy, just watching the ease and loveliness of the swans.

As many of you know animals can be symbols and represent certain ideas. I thought about the traditional ugly duckling story that recognizes they are a beautiful swan. That is a wonderful metaphor for our ability to really recognize when we accept ourselves we become ‘beautiful” and graceful because we aren’t trying to be something we aren’t. Being yourself is much easier. I also wanted to know more so I looked up the animal message of swans. So here they are: “begin to realize your own true beauty”. Then I looked up black swan: “represents love, both self love and romantic love, happiness in yourself, the healing power of love and miracles”.

I think the message is obvious but maybe not. You choose – no one else does. Are you an ugly duckling or a swan? Be your authentic self without hesitation. Your journey will be easier and more graceful. Remember the healing power of love and look for miracles.

Remember the message of the swans,

Bonnie

A funny thing happened on the way back home on Sunday. After some quiet contemplation on Easter Sunday, something startling occurred. My husband in his quiet time had asked a question and wanted a clear sign. As we headed the car back to the house, he suddenly turned off into what he thought…. was the park. No, it wasn’t the park, he was thinking about. However, it was a beautiful park next to the “Our Lady of Prayer” a building created for prayer. How remarkable that he found this park and mediation/prayer spot on the water on Easter Sunday.

It was so peaceful, the weather was beautiful and no one was around. The building itself was closed but we walked around this beautiful park. It was very interesting to note in the park were the “stations of the cross” in sculptures that lead up to Easter. As we walked around enjoying the sun and the blue sky, my husband with his odd sense of humor says, “I think I got the answer to my question. I should be a priest”. After we both laughed we got quiet. There was no missing we had been lead there. The real truth and answer that came to us was after the struggle and pain came a rising up-the ascension. It takes faith to know that the ascension is coming.

I thought about how many of us are changing because of “outside circumstances” but it’s really creating an inner up leveling for our own personal ascension. The saying it happens for a reason was very clear that day. But, the best for me is I love how you never know how the answers will show up.

Here’s to leaving the struggle behind and ascending,
Bonnie

We all know it’s always darkest before the dawn – the world is at its most gloomy before the light can start seeping through the waves of darkness. In several faith traditions, this is the week of darkness before the light. “A week” you say? I know it feels longer than a week. I have spoken to many people who have felt that the darkness and chaos started last week (or last year or over the last several years) and I have felt the same way. Even the most grounded, successful and spiritually-trusting people have been challenged. I know this may be a turbulent time whether it’s the small dramas, the busyness of life or the ongoing bigger issues that concern you. How do you find those beams of light, take care of yourself and not drop all the balls you have in the air as you put out fires at home and work, meet everyone else’s needs and take care of your family all while staying connected and trusting? That’s a good question, and it’s one I ask myself and my clients routinely.

I want to share with you what I know can support you in connecting to the “light” this week or any busy day (or week or year) in your life. However, I hesitate to suggest this to you as I have consciously left it out of my conversations and writings as many of you may consider it a “dirty” word. Here is goes…one of the best ways you can find your way out of the dark and into the light is to meditate. Yes, I wrote it. If Oprah can use the word, I know it’s okay for me to use it, too. But I can hear you now — I don’t have time, I can’t quiet my mind, that isn’t for me — and I really understand. I started out feeling that way also.

Here’s the good news. Everyone can “meditate” because it’s easier and less time consuming than you think. It takes you out of the dark and gives you a peek of light. And, we do it all the time already — meditating is just focused attention. It’s about being open and listening and being present in the moment. I looked up the word meditation and it comes from the Indo-European root med – meaning “to measure”. Meditation has been defined as: “self regulation of attention, in the service of self-inquiry, in the here and now.”

Many simple meditation techniques ask you to focus on your breathing. Focusing on your breathing engages your left brain, keeping it from trying to figure everything out, and allowing you freedom from other thoughts. The key (coming from the Buddhist tradition) is taking your mind out of the mix even for a short time and allowing the space, “the wiggle room”, for the answers or inspiration to surface. (There’s more on wiggle room in the last blog post). So if you stop what you’re doing and focus on your breathing — you’re meditating.

Step it up by using self inquiry-questions before you start such as “I wonder how this darkness and chaos will lift?” Or “What is the most important thing for me to do next?” Or “I wonder how it would feel if I wasn’t ______.” The answers will come either now or later if you give them the chance. Just four easy steps: Stop what you are doing, take a deep breath, ask your questions and then focus on your breathing. Try this for one to three minutes — that’s all! Then notice what is different, the lightness you feel…and keep noticing. Keep noticing what’s different.

Meditation can take place during many activities, not just when you’re sitting still with your eyes closed. It can come when you are writing in a journal, as you do routine chores, or while taking a walk. Just staying in the present moment noticing with your senses what you are doing. It’s all about focusing in the moment…the moment you have right now.

I know how difficult it is to make the best choices in the midst of too much do, in the middle of chaos and drama. I would love to help you! So I encourage you to take a “meditation break” and let the best choices for you and your life come to you in the “light”.

Resources to find some light in your life

Listen to “3 Minutes of Light” Meditation in the Jacuzzi Room.

The Soothing SoundPaths™ to Serenity: The Virtual Spa™ CD (available in CD or downloadable version)

Walking Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh and Anh-Huong Nguyen

The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

One-Moment Meditation: Stillness for People on the Go by Martin Boroson

Transform Stress in 30 Days with One-Moment Meditation®
My wish for you is that you connect to the light of meditation,
Bonnie
PS Post and let us know how “meditation” helped you let in some light. Thanks for posting,when you post it really helps others on the path!

Shifting thoughts have really moved the bubble of reality for me, and for those around me, in wonderful ways. In the last blog, I wrote about being able to shift your bubble of reality and I wanted to share a few stories with you. A teenager I coached recently was angry and very upset – until and her bubble of reality shifted. What changed for her? When she saw the possibility that what had been said to her, although hurtful and downright rude, was really not true! She didn’t have to buy into the hurt and angry reality.

Yesterday I had one of those days, like the teenager above, shifting my bubble. It started out with someone, where I do some contract work, putting their head down and mumbling, “Good morning.” I could hear it was not a good morning. Was it me? Maybe? Or maybe not!

Then later in the day I presented a program to support for staff in their work environment – something I was very excited about.

However, my bubble didn’t shift – it popped. Although the administrator was positive and open, she shared when some of the staff heard about the time commitment for the program I had created for them, they were resistant to participating. I felt I had gone above and beyond in creating this program to support them! So my bubble fell to the floor, popped and subsequently disappeared. I was really disappointed.

How did I let that happen? You guessed it! I didn’t shift my thoughts, when I received the feedback about some of the staff’s reaction and my bubble melted on the ground. I didn’t give myself any “wiggle room” – that energetic space where physical realities change, as Dr. Bartlett talks about in his books Matrix Energetics and The Physics of a Miracle.

It took me a bit to get another bubble in the air, but I did it. The breath that let this new bubble grow and airlift in it’s shift, was looking for what I was truly feeling and then changing my thoughts. I also had a deep conviction and belief there had to be other realities I could shift and move into and let go of where I was. I let go of my attachment to the outcome (will they choose to get involved with the program I created) and let go of the story that what I was offering wasn’t valuable. Whew! What a relief to let it go!

Most importantly, as I shifted my bubble of reality, I feel peaceful and knew that whatever happens happens. Being peaceful is really the intention. When we are in a peaceful state of well-being that’s where where the miracles are.
How are you shifting your bubble of reality? Post and tell us.

Here’s to beautiful bubbles floating in the air with many colorful and wonderful realities. You can choose!

Bonnie

How many times have you said, I want to… take better care of myself, create a better work life balance, just be still for a few minutes, end that relationship that’s draining me, make a career change, just have more fun, etc.? And then nothing happens. That’s a good sign that your intentions, your heart’s deepest desires, aren’t in sync with what’s really happening in your life. No real surprise to you I’m sure. Here is the good news – there’s an easy solution and can really be fun. In the last blog I wrote about intentions for the New Year. (It doesn’t have to be January to create new intentions for your life. You can do this anytime of the year.)

Sync –”harmony, causes something to occur in unison, working at the same time”

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to watch a group of powerful women easily move into what I think of as a “heart life sync”. It seemed the perfect way to start February. Each of the women at this party lead very busy, very full lives. But, they decided to put themselves first and take the time to ponder the questions from the last blog and get together to have a vision board “party” with me.

As the “party” progressed, I could feel the energy shift as I watched this amazing group of women, all of whom had many challenges in the past year, commit to uplifting themselves to greater health, sharing their gifts, creating healthier more loving relationships, finding a healthier job or having the desire to create more balance in their lives. They designed their unique and expressive vision boards, written intentions and next steps with ease and grace. Yes, there were shared painful moments of the past.

During our conversation before the crafting began, they honestly shared what hadn’t worked, what bolstered them and their individual strengths. I don’t think they knew how easy and fun it was going to be to connect to what was really in their hearts and have fun!

As their vision boards emerged in pictures and words, I witnessed a change, a “sync” in each of them as their hearts opened to the path of what they truly desired. I saw it in their faces, in the stories they shared, the support they gave each other and the beautiful unique boards they created. It was during these moments I knew each woman would be walking the path of their heart more fully and change would happen. This time together started the synchronization process between where they were at that moment and where they wanted to be. I know this process was for each of them a time of connection, harmony and movement.

You can do the same.

Three Steps to Syncing with Your Heart this February or any other time)

Step 1

These are the characteristics each woman brought to the party to connect and with her heart. Ask yourself the questions below to get into your heart sync with your life.

• Do you have a desire to BE different, to really connect to your their heart’s desires no matter how busy your life is?
• Do you have a commitment to DO some things differently?
• What are the steps you need to take to BE different?
• What strengths do you use in the “good times” and what strengths do you use in the challenging times?
• As we mentioned in the last blog, what do you need to support you to now that you didn’t have before?

Step 2

Write the answers to the questions above and create a visual daily reminder.

Step 3

Send this blog to a friend and partner with them. Do periodic check-ins to see how you each are doing with your “syncing to your heart’s desires.” The connection is made – this helps to make it strong and not to disconnect.

Post a comment and let me know what happened when you did this. How did you feel? Or just post and let us know you have taken your first step!

Here is a a great video on visioning.

Have fun and post your thoughts,
Bonnie

Three critically, important questions can pave the way for your success this year. I have read, coached (Empowerparties.com) and experienced the success of these powerful questions. I believe you’ll find they will give you a more direct connection to your dreams and intentions as you move into 2010. After you have asked these questions add another dimension. Make your desires visible through writing and pictures. This starts creating your new reality for the year. The first question to ask yourself is: “How or what was successful for me in 2009 and why?” The answer to this question is vital to your success. This isn’t as much about what you did, as it is about the components that made you successful in achieving your desired outcome. The second questions is: “What would I do differently in the areas I didn’t achieve the success I desired?” This isn’t about blame and shame. It’s just an evaluation of events. The third question to ask yourself is: “What do I have to support me to be successful that I didn’t have in place last year?” To reach new goals and intentions we have do and be different. These are really dynamic and powerful questions to guide you in keeping what worked and changing what didn’t. After you have pondered and written down your answers you are then ready to start to create a plan for success this year. Have fun. Here are a few of my favorite support “things”.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Over the holidays I once again watched the musical The Sound of Music. I love the song My Favorite Things “Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens …”. The song gave me the idea to share with you a few of my favorite things to shift my inner and out worlds for success, peace and change. I wanted to share them with you to support you in realizing your dreams and making 2010 the success you desire.

Of course one of my new favorites is something here at SerenityPathways, The Virtual Spa® Gift Package. This new three month Virtual Spa® Membership gives you access to the many rooms in the spa filled with ways to relax, release, and refresh yourself 24/7. A new addition to the membership gift package are daily one minute audios. Many of my coaching clients have said they would love to put me in their pocket to carry with them between sessions. (I think it might be a bit dark and crowded in someone’s pocket:)) So added I added an extra feature to the three month membership in the spa. Every day, for three months, not only will you have access to over 24 rooms in The Virtual Spa® and get a spa weekly tip filled with great ideas to nurture your body and soul … you will have your Spa Coach (yes, that’s me) in your pocket everyday, with an inspirational one minute audio boost coming to your email daily and a gentle reminder to visit the spa!

Not Just Any Harp Music

I have had Amy’s magical and healing music in my home for 6 years. I have also had the honor and joy of recording a CD with Amy. Amy’s music has been healing, calming and transformational in my life, my families, clients and friends. The research behind the relaxing and healing that can occur while listening (the body can heal once it is in a relaxed state) of these CDs is just amazing. These two are my current favorites and have gotten me through the tough times and relaxed and balanced me in my daily life. http://www.serenitypathways.com/relaxation.htm (For her full collection visit AmyCamie.com)

Elyse Hope Killoran, President of Choosing Prosperity From the Inside Out

Our journey (my husband and I) began or continued in Elyse’s Prosperity Partnership Program – a powerful “place” for spiritual business owners and anyone on the spiritual path especially if you want to move forward in your life or business. The offerings from Elyse can support you in being the person who can align with your innate ability to create prosperity…from the inside-out. The Anchoring Prosperity CD is a great way to start visualizing your intentions, seeing yourself being where you want to be in 2010. It is a CD you will listen to many times over! To find out more visit: http://prosperityportal.com/ or http://choosingprosperity.com

For Parents

Tami Gulland is a wonderful colleague and friend. She is an empathic and talented coach and parent of two children. I have had the awesome opportunity to witness some of her incredible ability for transformation and miracles in families close to me.

Restore Harmony Within Your Home and Family with Tami Gulland

Positive Psychology is something that has really pulled me up and into who I am. It changed the way where I started with clients in counseling and where I always start in my coaching practice. I found that part of self nurturing is to find your gifts and strengths which leads to stronger relationships, paves the way to move through challenges more easily and is the natural path to happiness in life.

Here are some of my favorite links to finding your strengths and gifts and claiming your happiness now!
www.AuthenticHappiness.com
www.viacharacter.org
At these two sites you can start finding the best of who you are as you identify your gifts and strengths.
HappinessProject.com I haven’t bought the book yet, but you can be sure I will.

Books I couldn’t leave out!

Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson

I love how she found the science on why how positive thoughts and 10 minutes of quiet can change your daily reality from chaos to more ease.

Happy for No Reason
Marci Shimoff did a fabulous job of bringing happiness to a level that everyone can understand.

My newest favorite is The Physics of Miracles by Richard Bartlett. Don’t read this one unless you want to start changing your world. It is a bit mind boggling what we can change by just connecting “two points of light”.

Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Connor
A friend and someone I have watched totally transform her life living Writing Down Your Soul. This is a must for anyone who wants personal guidance and enjoys writing. In February, Janet will teach you more secrets about harnessing your writing and guidance in a new course called Plug In! The Intersection for Writers and Other Creatives.
This ten-week teleseries is unlike anything else. It is the first in-depth exploration of The Intersection and it is designed specifically for writers, speakers, and other creatives. It merges new and very powerful spiritual practices with your craft infusing your work with access to limitless creativity and guidance. The result? You create a unique message that cannot help but find its expression in the world. All you have to do is Plug In to the incredible power of The Intersection.

I could continue but I said just a few of my favorite things. I would love if you would post a comment and share one of your favorite “things” that have inspired you and supported you in your success. “Rain drops on roses …”

Enjoy your success in 2010,
Bonnie

Yes, you can find peace in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, if you really want it. Even if there is a sadness in your heart, you can discover peace during this holiday season.

The other day I was reminded of this as I watched a dove take it’s winged grace into the air. (We have doves here around our house in Florida.) I love watching the doves, hearing them coo and knowing of the peace they can bring. In some sad moments today the energy of the doves cleared my way to more peace.

Historically, and in many faith traditions, doves are known as a symbol of peace. They are also known in Animal Totem medicine as a symbol of the peace of grace. It doesn’t matter where you live, you can capture the energy of the dove’s profound peace wherever you live and especially now in the season of light, peace and love.

I knew doves were associated with peace and love but I didn’t know that doves were also associated with giving.    It’s important for all of us to Let go of the notion there’s not enough time. This season and as you move into the new year, let “giving” to yourself  be one of your gifts.

Whenever you slip into the energy of chaos and desire the delicious comforting sense of peace….think of the dove energy.   It’s never too late to give to yourself.  Make a choice to  make things simpler.  Or give yourself a “time out”.  Be quiet before you head out shopping, wrapping, or cooking.  Trust your intuition; you know what you need. Those few self-nurturing moments have a big payoff in the grand scheme of things. And don’t forget to breathe in thankfulness for whatever you love and that is dear to you this holiday!

When you finish reading this blog take a moment, close your eyes and visualize or imagine beautiful doves of peace soaring and floating gently across the skies.  Imagine the serenity they bring as they noiselessly flap their wings, stilling your thoughts and bringing a true sense of tranquilly to you.  Just breathe in the tranquility!  Everything will fall into order.  Let it sink in before you open your eyes to the sights and sounds of this very precious season.

Wishing you all the peace of the doves,’

Bonnie

Small, bite-size… simple… quiet (despite the masses) … clean and elegant was my impression after traveling to Japan with my daughter last week. I loved being immersed in the local culture so different from ours here in the States.

On the subways, despite all the travelers, it was silent except a few quiet conversations. There was a strict rule, no audible cell phone talking or phones ringing. You have to put your cell phone on vibrate or quiet mode. This information was posted with the next stop information on the flashing panel, in Japanese and English, on most trains.

It was humorous to watch these quiet, respectful people texting, yes, but the bigger event was watching them play games on their phones. Games were certainly the popular choice on many neon-colored, large homogeneous-looking big screen phones.  There was still a large collection of  people on our subway rides, which were many, quietly sitting or “napping” and with only a few quiet conversations.  Who knows what they were saying since my daughter and I don’t speak Japanese. Only once during the entire week did we hear anyone raise their voice anywhere we traveled.

Even at temples, stores, markets, subways, and down streets crowded with people, it was much quieter than you would expect. During the entire trip, it continued to amaze me, despite the close quarters and hundreds and hundreds of people, how quiet it was. I also enjoyed the spotlessly clean streets, bathrooms, and subways.  (Just a side note, not everywhere was quiet. When we were in one of many arcades that Japan features it was definitely NOT quiet.)

The Japanese people radiated a sense of peace with their respect to others and quiet. They were always saying thank you and many times bowing to you with a smile. (I now know the word thank you in Japanese.) That’s how they treat everyone.  I know we drew attention with our blond hair, light skin and odd-looking clothing and shoes. Japan is country with few Europeans or Americans. We laughed as, a few times, very young children pointed us out to their mothers.  However, we were always treated with respect and kindness.

The Japanese seem to know how to take those quiet moments despite small, very crowded spaces and a very busy environment. In our Japanese business hotel each morning a breakfast area would magically appear in the lobby. While eating rice cakes and unidentified vegetables (I couldn’t eat the soup at 7 AM) I noticed again how quiet the crowded room was as we ate. Once again, there were a few conversation but they were soft and quiet.  It was rather amazing. I know a few years ago I found some articles that reported some Japanese companies were creating “quiet rooms” (with pillows and couches) and play rooms to give their employees a “stress  break.”

3 Simple Tips Japanese style for inner calm and peace

• Remember to say thank you from your heart and bow (inside) to every person you interact with each day. (Watch what happens!)
• Create quiet spaces for yourself during the day.  Turn off your radio, ipod and just be quiet  wherever you are.
• Be respectful using your cell phone, both ringing and talking. (Does everyone want to hear your side of the story?)

“The world will be a better place when you’re authentically expressing all of who you are.”~  Michele Vandepas

This is huge time of transition in every arena of  life as we know it.  It’s also the time of great excitement and amazing opportunities to be…. really be who you truly are sharing all your gifts.   Some may say we’re being the spirit we came here to be. Others reference being in alignment with your Soul.  For me for me it’s about being your self …..naturally in all your glory, having fun  and serving your purpose which only you can do.

Many of you know I love the Positive Psychology movement. I love it because there’s so much research documenting that when you use what resides naturally inside, focus on what’s working and not try to fix your weaknesses  you’re healthier, happier, and wealthier.

And, you’re amazingly more successful. You’re more successful because you attract opportunities  that you know intuitively will work for you. You feel confident to pursue  them and automatically you’re being your naturally best self without even  trying. (I know that has been working so well for me these last few months.)

When you’re really being you focusing on who you really are at your best and feel confident inside,  you attract positive relationships and your current relationships improve or get even better. You become better at communicating what you you want and need and don’t feel guilty.  New opportunities come to you easily.  But the real joy is truly being who you are (the “wiring” is already there) loving your life and being abundant financially, in relationships, and in the things that really matter.

I think  Michele’s quote at the beginning says it all and I loved her blog on 100 Ways to Birth Your Entrepreneurial Dream. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to benefit and unleash the true you. Great  ideas on how to find  or refine your divine purpose.  These ideas really ideas really work.

“The world will be a better place when you’re authentically expressing all of who you are.”~  Michele Vandepas http://divinepurposeunleashed.com/100-ways-to-birth-your-entrepreneurial-dream-part-1-of-5/

Enjoy and unleash the “real” genuine and positively charged you,

Bonnie

P.S. If you need a moment of quiet to let these ideas on unleashing your purpose and passions seep into your heart-Visit the Jacuzzi Room in the Virtual Spa and relax. (It only takes 8 minutes) SerenityPathways.com click on the towels