Serenity Pathways

Archive for the ‘Stress Relief’ Category

Can you imagine sleeping on the job? The “old me” would have had a startled response followed by a flood of guilt if either my boss tapped me on the shoulder or I woke up in my home office alone. Then I would wonder how much time I had just lost and how could I let that happen.

But let’s move forward in time and switch gears for a moment. I know when I’m on the right path, messages indicating I’m going in the right direction pop up in the most unlikely places.  My clients and those who know me are well aware of how important I believe it is just taking a few quiet moments to refresh, recharge and refocus so those new ideas can come through. That’s why I created The Virtual Spa, serenitypathways.com, a short 3-8 minute “pause” in the chaos of the outside.

So for the second time in the past month I have read or heard from different studies that pausing-sleeping for 10 minutes “on the job” makes a difference in your performance. On Good Morning America, http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/JobClub/ Tory Johnson spoke about the research of sleeping on the job for 10-20 minutes. The research shows that 65% of the work force population has trouble organizing, performance issues and difficulty concentrating around 2 o’clock in the afternoon. This concept isn’t embraced in the majority of companies yet, but now you know how important that 10 minute pause in your day can be.

If you can’t sleep, at lease hit the pause button for 10 minutes.  Close your eyes, take a walk, listen to some quiet music or take a quick nap.   I can hear some of you, your friends or co workers now!  “I don’t want to wait while someone sleeps” or “I’m losing time!” Be forewarned, that is “old paradigm thinking” and many will continue to think that way but be less productive. The new wave in surviving what we have to do in a day is the short break or the short nap that opens up the door to many more possibilities.

Here’s to the pausing and napping,
Bonnie
PS I couldn’t find those dream masks Tory Johnson showed on GMA if you find them please post.
PPS Post your “pause” stories and inspire others!

Who knew after a lot of work the “pause” in our normal routine would be so refreshing. We had our (now after three years) “normal” company for Labor Day weekend.  To get ready we  did more than usual.  You know how it is and what you think you have to do when you have six additional people coming to your house to stay for 4 days!  This summer was odd; we had not done as much work outside as we usually do, so we did more than the usual weekly clean up in preparation. With the rain and rapid growth on the outside there was a lot to be done!  Plus we decided to paint one of the bedrooms.

Although it’s still very hot here in Florida, I knew that after this weekend I’d want to get back into work without thinking about changing my house into fall. (Yes, I am one who likes to decorate for the seasons down to my couch pillows.)  So I did that too!

The weekend turned out to be a much bigger “pause” in our normal routines than I had thought it would be.  We all had so much fun together and in small groups.   The planning paid off so it didn’t feel like we had to work at all for everyone to feel comfortable. It seemed like a luxury to spend that much time relaxing and just having fun!  I am always amazed at the magic of taking a real break – a pause from everything else.  I’m the Queen of mini pauses and quick breaks but every once in awhile taking a big pause really refreshes.  I didn’t worry about what I had to do this week or what I wasn’t doing. I know that’s the key!  Things moved with ease and my week has fallen into place easily!

Try hitting  the “pause” button!  Take a quick pause and work up to the longer ones. Don’t forget to hit the pause button on the “what I have to do” thoughts too!!!

Post your favorite way to pause,

Bonnie

PS If you want to hear more about “the magic of the pause button” tune in on Tuesday, September 14 at 6:00 PM ET to blogtalkradio.com/lea-yekutiel.  If you can’t make it, the recording will be there. There are other great shows to list with wonderful guests, too.

“Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round and round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much.”
http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

“Have you been so focused on something that it seems to occupy your entire brain? Then there seems like there’s no room in your head for any other ideas or thoughts? Are you feeling a bit uptight or worried about how to do what you need to do accomplish? Do these thoughts keep you up or wake you up at night? Do you find it’s hard to concentrate on other things? You may even find yourself drifting off during other conversations. You’re mind is full trying to figure out how to get what you need done, how to come up with ideas for a new project or how to arrange your fall schedule balancing work and the responsibilities of your family. If you said yes to most of these questions above you’re being held hostage by your thoughts. When you are held hostage you don’t have the freedom to explore other ideas and opportunities, only the same old ones that are right there in front of your face. So how do you break out of the cycle of repetitive thoughts or worries that keep you confined? As I have been very focused on expanding my business, I have noticed it has helped letting go of the worry about how it will totally unfold. Giving myself freedom from worry by taking breaks and focusing on other things has helped me notice and be aware of new ideas. This morning I realized I needed to write my ezine. Even though I wanted to start on it, I just didn’t feel inspired. I noticed when I opened up my computer that the many icons on my desktop were blocking the picture on my screen. I took a short break from thinking about my ezine and re-arranged the ions and cleaned up the desktop. Next, I opened up my email and I took the time read the Daily Om (I don’t always read them). The answer came to me quickly on what to write about! These short “breaks” from my brain in hostage-mode about the ezine gave me the perfect validation for how I had been working on my business and gave me idea for this blog.

In this Daily Om they suggest you give yourself a gift – you probably guessed it – to step away from your worry or project. Doing this “lessens the load“. I know what you’re thinking. The problem will still be there, I still have to figure this out. That’s true, however, what comes from stepping back is the gift of answers you are looking for as you create the space to hear or see them. Your body relaxes and your mind is more open and receptive. No one is saying to ignore the deadline or not take care of your responsibilities – just take a break.

One blogger on Daily Om said it so well, “It is around 1:41 am. I am wide awake as thoughts at what happened at my office today are driving me crazy. I get up and switch on my computer, enter my email address and password. There I am looking at this Daily OM email: Taking a Break from What You are Doing. Terrific. Exactly what I needed and exactly at the right moment. I read it and am amazed. Suddenly I feel less tense. There is a sense that the Universe is communicating with me and is trying to help me.” ~ http://www.dailyom.com

The idea is to give yourself a mini vacation from the planning or the worry. “By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us”. http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

3 Steps to Release the Hostage to Get the Gifts

• Consciously take a mind vacation from your project or worries (even if it’s just on the way to the car or a trip to the bathroom). Just switch the station on your thoughts – think of something else or something you love or enjoy
• Take a mini yoga break, walk, read a book, switch to another activity and monitor your thoughts on “vacation mode” from the project or worries
• Put your focus on what you are doing when you are in the shower, shaving or drying your hair or and watch the creative ideas pour in

Free and on a thought-vacation at least for a little while,
Bonnie

In some places it’s hot enough to cook and burn an egg on the pavement! Looking at the weather map, this heat blankets our entire country. So I’m sure you’re feeling it.

My question to you is:  Are you adding to the hot external temperatures by turning on the heat and burning up from the inside without realizing it?

Are you Turning Up the Heat from the Inside
3 Questions

Are you pushing on despite the heat – and it being summertime – and ignoring the message to slow down so you can cool down?

Are you ready for the kids to go back to school and yet dread fall, instead of being in the moment and creating joyful times and memories?

Are you saying later, later for a few minutes of quiet solitude that would cool down your body and mind?

How to Turn Down the Heat
3 Ideas

Consider letting one thing go and know that it’s taken care of or will be later. Everything isn’t a priority and doesn’t have to be done right now. Breathe deeply, let go of the nagging voice and know with conviction that doing this will make your life easier.

There are always positive moments in the worst of situations. Are you just tired and need a moment of peace? (see the next idea) Find those positive moments and focus on them. This will change your perception and feelings and turn down the inner heat and agitation. Remember to look for positive changes inside yourself and those around you.

Take advantage of how your body works. Research says women are wired for being able to de-stress more easily than men. However, the chemicals in your body support you in de-stressing more quickly when you take time for yourself. Pick up a novel and read for 15 or 20 minutes! Close the door, put your feet up and do nothing – just focus on breathing (novel idea). Pour yourself a cool drink (a great smoothie or a flavored ice tea) and just take time to drink it – alone! And, most importantly look for those thoughts that heat you up and cool them down by letting them go.

Turn down the heat and stay cool,
Bonnie

I felt invisible forces around as I visited with friends and family during my time in New York while staying with my Mom as she was recuperating from surgery. I noticed certain people seemed to be controlled by something no one could see. Some people were very focused on what was “wrong”. What was wrong with… you can name it: the church, politics, who was donating money to the wrong cause, what some friend’s and family member’s teenagers were doing (no, don’t ask) and more! It was also fascinating to watch and listen to how each person reacted as the conversations continued. It may have seemed to a casual observer that some people were bystanders rather than being in the drama of the conversation. However, if you listened closely, those people were compassionate but had a lack of judgment. So what invisible force was leading them by the hand?

Why such a big difference in people’s ability to perceive and react in such different ways? The obvious answer is: our beliefs. However, I was reminded about a question in a recent study group I attended. The question was: how are our beliefs influenced? Think about this for a moment. Have you ever been in a stadium when someone starts “the wave” and all of a sudden everyone in the stadium of thousands is moving? It’s an energetic connection that happens as the person next to you starts moving. The same is true when you’re on a project and everything just falls into place. There’s an invisible connection that occurs from one person to the next, and it’s not a thinking or talking experience once it has been set in motion. And it’s not an accident or coincidence. The intentions and thoughts create an energetic field of connection between each person or event.

Quantum scientists refer to this connection as a “morphic field.” You can liken this to a blueprint connected to whatever the focus is. The blueprint is fluid, moving and growing or not. There’s a “field” connected to politics, a field connected to disease, a field connected to religion, and a field connected to a party you are planning to have – just to name a few. There is NO judgment to the field itself; it’s just a collection of energy. For a moment, think back over the last few years. Have you felt worried or scared after you heard the news or talked with your friends about the economy? There is a “field” surrounding our economy and many times it’s a field of fear. When you tap into that field you may feel uneasy or think that things will never get better. Just a few more examples: there is a field of connections or morphic fields around prayer, God, sports, or the TV show So You Think You Can Dance.

What field are you in? When you feel an emotion or pinpoint a belief, ask yourself “Is this me?” Is this a commonly held belief in society? Is it from how I was raised? Are these my true feelings? Do I want to keep what I believe or let it go? Let go of what isn’t yours!

When we were discussing this in our study group the question was asked about the old saying “better safe than sorry”. I asked myself what percentage of that belief is from society. What is from my family? What percent left is mine? I let go of the society and family energy. A very small portion was my own perception of this saying, which to me meant being safe not sorry is living with limitations. I want to live without limiting myself from the many possibilities available to me. Yet others brought up that keeping their belief was a good thing for them because it kept them from doing dangerous things. Most importantly, just check in with yourself and see where the belief is coming from – from others or is it truly your own. You can decide either way if it’s worth keeping or changing. Wouldn’t you hate to think you were really controlled by outside invisible forces rather than making choices yourself?

Let go of what isn’t yours, have fun and enjoy the rest of the summer,
Bonnie

Just a  thought to take the pressure off yourself today. There is no way you can do it all. There is just no way! So what do you do?
Let go of:

• Perfectionism-this is self abuse

• I shoulds

• What will people think

• Thinking if you don’t do things they will go to ……

Instead go inside and ask?

• What’s really important today?

• How can I play or have fun?

• How can I be gentler on myself?

• What can I let go of today?

Today and this weekend find time to play.
Remember what The Cat in Hat said,
Don’t let this day….
Go without play….
(just kidding about the Cat in the Hat but he would say that ) Bonnie

Is there a connection between play and murder? There really is one; you’ll find the answer as you finish reading this blog. After another training session in Matrix Energetics where everything is considered “play” – including playing while taking in consideration conditions such as cancer and other serious aliments many people suffer from – I understood even more clearly the power of play. (During a Matrix Session they didn’t take “the condition” lightly,but the session was structured in a light and playful manner yielding amazing results.)  When your focus is light-hearted and even fun, your focus is shifted away from the problem and more “space” is created for healing. As I follow the path of how fun makes life easier, I want to share it with you. It’s a simple way to make a change in your life without having to “work” at it. My deepest desire is to support you in increasing your ability to have a life you would choose, to be happier, have life be  less chaotic and more peaceful. And, play and fun is a great place to start. (Don’t forget you will be healthier and more productive when you play). Because my clients have really experienced how The Fun Factor plays into productivity, I have been led in a direction of finding more supporting evidence on the benefits of play and fun, which is what this week’s blog is all about.

My Fun – What’s Yours?

I have found one of the things I loved as a kid and many of you may might have loved too (I know I mentioned it before) was hula hooping. Here in Florida hula hooping seems to be an up and coming new sport. Even though it may take some effort, there are great benefits from playing with a hula hoop. Who thought whirling your hips in odd directions and sometimes looking incredibly silly could increase your memory, your mood, your biceps and your core? And, it’s fun! A bit of a workout, but fun!!! I always feel energized afterward. Why is this fun to me? I love my purple and gold adult hula hoop. It reminds me of the fun I had as a child. I was good at it then. It makes me happy. I laugh. Believe it or not, creative ideas pop into my head about all kinds of things during and after I hoop. I feel good about taking care of my body. I actually think it’s a joke on me. I’m exercising but it’s fun. An oxymoron for sure for me.

For those of you who may be a “type-A personality”, keep reading. Playing and or fooling around will activate creativity and passion, transferring literally to other aspects of your life including work, how you relate to your friends, family and your marriage. According to the American Medical Association, “When you take a vacation from work — even a four-day weekend — you are more inventive, productive and healthier (fewer sick days) when you return,” says Stuart Brown, MD, a researcher for The National Institute for Play. Yes, there really is one! A pioneer in research on play, Brown says, “Humor, games, roughhousing, flirtation and fantasy are more than just fun. Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age”.

The Research

Dr. Stuart Brown’s research “shows play is not just joyful and energizing — it’s deeply involved with human development and intelligence.” I was thrilled to hear his suggestion to “explore backwards and go to the most clear, joyful image you have” in your life and remember playing, whether it’s an activity or toy, and feel the emotion. The next step is to think: how can you relate that emotion to your life now? Another aspect of what I wrote about in the F… Factor. The emotion is what you are looking for, that’s the link and the power of play.

Why, why, why play? Because it makes your life happier. You are more productive and more creative. You will find yourself with a pure and wonderful sense of wellbeing. Playing can lead you to your passions and the next step in your life. I know what you are thinking: play, sure, sure, sure. But, the bottom line is you’ll like your life more. Brown says the opposite of play is not work, it’s “depression.”

By the way, Stuart found after looking at murderers’ profiles that they were “play deprived.” More research is pointing to a child’s development being enhanced or curtailed by the opportunities to play or not.

Have a Fun Memorial Day Weekend!

Enjoy some guilt-free playing—you will enjoy your life more,

Bonnie

PS Join the fun and Post your favorite (legal) fun and play activities-the ones you enjoy yourself or the play activities you enjoy with your children or grandchildren.  Explain the activity, how you felt and if you noticed any benefit from your playtime.

PPS Do you want to know when this blog is updated? You can sign up at the box in the right column and get an email notifying you.

Ugly Duckling or Swan?

Who thought swans would be the refresher with a message? After going to the dentist, I decided I needed to recharge my batteries and enjoy a bit of nature before my next coaching session. I stopped by a nearby park with a lake and a lovely view. I found a towel in the car. (I had my husband’s car so I didn’t have my beach chair in the trunk.) It was one of the beautiful days of spring before the heat of our Florida summer. I thought it would be lovely to just sit and enjoy some peace and quiet.

As I headed to a familiar part of the park, I heard the laughing and playful voices of children, many children. I love the sounds of children’s voices but after hearing drilling at the dentist I just wanted quiet. I headed towards the other end of lake. As I sat down on my little towel, my attention was caught by the swans. At this lake you can rent swan boats and you usually see swans, but the swans I saw first were in pairs and they were black! I had never seen black swans before. Maybe I just live a sheltered life. Who knows? They were a beautiful sight.

I enjoyed the swans that, on this particular day, were traversing the water in pairs. Two pairs of black swans and next a pair of swans with black necks and white bodies both perfectly matched. Then finally I saw the white swans. It was lovely to watch them gracefully float on the water. I have never seen birds so gracefully catch and swallow fish. Although I only stayed a short while, I felt a welling up in my heart of joy, just watching the ease and loveliness of the swans.

As many of you know animals can be symbols and represent certain ideas. I thought about the traditional ugly duckling story that recognizes they are a beautiful swan. That is a wonderful metaphor for our ability to really recognize when we accept ourselves we become ‘beautiful” and graceful because we aren’t trying to be something we aren’t. Being yourself is much easier. I also wanted to know more so I looked up the animal message of swans. So here they are: “begin to realize your own true beauty”. Then I looked up black swan: “represents love, both self love and romantic love, happiness in yourself, the healing power of love and miracles”.

I think the message is obvious but maybe not. You choose – no one else does. Are you an ugly duckling or a swan? Be your authentic self without hesitation. Your journey will be easier and more graceful. Remember the healing power of love and look for miracles.

Remember the message of the swans,

Bonnie

Last week during the business, I have to admit that I re-read last weeks blog Staying Out of the Cracks, to remind myself to fill up on what’s working.

I have to be honest one of the cracks for me is writing this blog and having no one post a response.  I get email responses but few comments.  I finally decided that it didn’t matter, what mattered was my sharing my experiences and things I know uplift others. For example, a woman emailed me after last week’s blog and said she shifted her to do list for her mini vacation from the “shoulds” which made her fall in the cracks. Yay, out of the cracks!!! (I know it can also feel like a dark hole believe me.)

I think each of has a gift to share. It may be just listening to someone that will keep them out of the cracks or it may be that small thoughtful thing you do that keeps them from falling deeper in the cracks. You may not even know how something you did fills someone else up. The message I want to share is when you are up looking at the Sun  and filled up share it. During these this time, we are meant to connect, support and be supported. The journey is easier. Celebrate those sunshine moments. If you look up and fill up you’ll find you aren’t alone. There is always someone or something to guide you away from the cracks.

I want to thank those who posted that filled me up as I read the comments from the last blog. Thank you as I am reading your comments and writing, the dark clouds lifted and the sun started to shine outside. For each of you who wrote a comment. I want to thank each of you for shining your light and sharing. You never know who else you may lift out of the cracks!

Looking up at the sun and filling up,

Bonnie

A funny thing happened on the way back home on Sunday. After some quiet contemplation on Easter Sunday, something startling occurred. My husband in his quiet time had asked a question and wanted a clear sign. As we headed the car back to the house, he suddenly turned off into what he thought…. was the park. No, it wasn’t the park, he was thinking about. However, it was a beautiful park next to the “Our Lady of Prayer” a building created for prayer. How remarkable that he found this park and mediation/prayer spot on the water on Easter Sunday.

It was so peaceful, the weather was beautiful and no one was around. The building itself was closed but we walked around this beautiful park. It was very interesting to note in the park were the “stations of the cross” in sculptures that lead up to Easter. As we walked around enjoying the sun and the blue sky, my husband with his odd sense of humor says, “I think I got the answer to my question. I should be a priest”. After we both laughed we got quiet. There was no missing we had been lead there. The real truth and answer that came to us was after the struggle and pain came a rising up-the ascension. It takes faith to know that the ascension is coming.

I thought about how many of us are changing because of “outside circumstances” but it’s really creating an inner up leveling for our own personal ascension. The saying it happens for a reason was very clear that day. But, the best for me is I love how you never know how the answers will show up.

Here’s to leaving the struggle behind and ascending,
Bonnie