Serenity Pathways

 The problem with stress, being upset or frustrated is you want something you don’t have. . .more money, a relationship, or your kids to behave. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that’s what will make you happy. If you’re thinking that way, you are in the jaws of the happiness trap.

 Do you remember the old song “Don’t worry…….Be happy”? There’s more truth to that than you think. We could substitute the word overwhelm, scared, or anxious for the word worry. All these words translate into one word-FEAR-fear of losing something…….fear of something happening to us.Now, more than ever, is the time to sing the mantra “Don’t worry…….. Be happy.” (Funny, that’s all I can remember from the song.) As Marcia Shimoff in the title of her book says, be “Happy for No Reason” (now out in paperback).  Why, you ask with everything going on in my life, the world, and right here in our country? Why be happy? Because being happy, having the money you want, or having a perfect relationship isn’t the real source of happiness.  I used to think having everything I wanted was happiness too. We all have been fooled into thinking having those “things” is the solution.  It’s the seductive happiness trap. You know how it is when you get when you finally have the money you want or believe you’ve developed the perfect relationship?  It’s like a quick sugar rush, giving you a high just for a little while, then dropping you, sometimes even plummeting you, back down,  (Researchers call this you happiness set point.) Sugar and happiness highs don’t last.  You can savor and enjoy them in the moment to prolong them but those fleeting pleasures just don’t hold up in the long run of life.  But what is really the object of your affection? If you keep asking yourself questions, the final answer every time is what everyone wants–joy, peace and a feeling of wellbeing. That’s really the bottom line. Recently I caught myself thinking about what I couldn’t do because I didn’t have. I stopped for a moment, looked outside and here is what popped into my head. (I never know when Dr. Seuss will visit.) 

Be happy

No one said sappy

Just be happy the sky is a beautiful blue

So …………you have a lot to do

Find a way

To be able to say

It’s okay

Today, I will find some time to play

It’s all up to me

How to be 

It’s easier than you think

And quicker than a wink 

You have it all inside

Find where those happy feelings reside 

Because what makes you feel good

Is really all under your hood. 

Positive Emotion= More ChoicesAnd, just in case you don’t think songs or Dr. Seuss are reliable resources, studies have shown that just smiling and having a little fun can open up your mind and the neuropathways in your brain. When the brain is not hyper-focused on the problem, it opens to other possibilities and  new opportunities  It has been found through extensive research on positive emotion and resiliency  that positive emotions help you navigate the bumps in life by broadening  possible choices and actions in difficult or challenging situations.  Experiencing positive emotion daily builds up your reserves for the tougher times. Researcher, Barbara Fredrickson, PhD., says in her new book Positivity,  ”Positive emotion opens our hearts and our minds making us more receptive and more creative.” In her research she has found negativity–even neutrality–holds you back.  Negative or neutral emotions actually narrow your experiences making it feel like “having blinders” on.  Just a quick aside–early one morning (before I had gotten back to reading Fredrickson’s book that very day) my brother was describing his low mood and said he felt like he had “blinders on”.  I’m so glad I now have scientific evidence that he was telling the truth!  Being in a bad mood feels like blinders, limiting our options and leaving us with seemingly nowhere to go except straight ahead.  I know how easy it is to feel boxed in with the outside world realities. Do you want to fall in the happiness trap and keep those blinders on or trust what’s under your hood?  Take time to look inside! Yes, you may have to be still for a few minutes. Then, do whatever you need to, so you feel happy, content, joyful, fulfilled.  Laugh, play or just visualize a time you felt good!  Look, listen and then take action.  You never know what will show up in your world.  Be Happy…………..Don’t Worry,Bonnie  

P.S. Discover how to be happy…right now.Walk the Natural Path to Happiness Read a sample of Module 1:Smelling the Roses Pays off  – at (copy and paste url SerenityPathways.com/npth-down in the middle of the page).  You won’t want to miss  the bonus gift  ebook Calm Moves  when you purchase the Natural Path to Happiness Module 1. (first in a series of 8-you can buy just the first one)

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