Serenity Pathways

Posts Tagged ‘release stress’

“Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round and round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much.”
http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

“Have you been so focused on something that it seems to occupy your entire brain? Then there seems like there’s no room in your head for any other ideas or thoughts? Are you feeling a bit uptight or worried about how to do what you need to do accomplish? Do these thoughts keep you up or wake you up at night? Do you find it’s hard to concentrate on other things? You may even find yourself drifting off during other conversations. You’re mind is full trying to figure out how to get what you need done, how to come up with ideas for a new project or how to arrange your fall schedule balancing work and the responsibilities of your family. If you said yes to most of these questions above you’re being held hostage by your thoughts. When you are held hostage you don’t have the freedom to explore other ideas and opportunities, only the same old ones that are right there in front of your face. So how do you break out of the cycle of repetitive thoughts or worries that keep you confined? As I have been very focused on expanding my business, I have noticed it has helped letting go of the worry about how it will totally unfold. Giving myself freedom from worry by taking breaks and focusing on other things has helped me notice and be aware of new ideas. This morning I realized I needed to write my ezine. Even though I wanted to start on it, I just didn’t feel inspired. I noticed when I opened up my computer that the many icons on my desktop were blocking the picture on my screen. I took a short break from thinking about my ezine and re-arranged the ions and cleaned up the desktop. Next, I opened up my email and I took the time read the Daily Om (I don’t always read them). The answer came to me quickly on what to write about! These short “breaks” from my brain in hostage-mode about the ezine gave me the perfect validation for how I had been working on my business and gave me idea for this blog.

In this Daily Om they suggest you give yourself a gift – you probably guessed it – to step away from your worry or project. Doing this “lessens the load“. I know what you’re thinking. The problem will still be there, I still have to figure this out. That’s true, however, what comes from stepping back is the gift of answers you are looking for as you create the space to hear or see them. Your body relaxes and your mind is more open and receptive. No one is saying to ignore the deadline or not take care of your responsibilities – just take a break.

One blogger on Daily Om said it so well, “It is around 1:41 am. I am wide awake as thoughts at what happened at my office today are driving me crazy. I get up and switch on my computer, enter my email address and password. There I am looking at this Daily OM email: Taking a Break from What You are Doing. Terrific. Exactly what I needed and exactly at the right moment. I read it and am amazed. Suddenly I feel less tense. There is a sense that the Universe is communicating with me and is trying to help me.” ~ http://www.dailyom.com

The idea is to give yourself a mini vacation from the planning or the worry. “By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us”. http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2010/25031.html

3 Steps to Release the Hostage to Get the Gifts

• Consciously take a mind vacation from your project or worries (even if it’s just on the way to the car or a trip to the bathroom). Just switch the station on your thoughts – think of something else or something you love or enjoy
• Take a mini yoga break, walk, read a book, switch to another activity and monitor your thoughts on “vacation mode” from the project or worries
• Put your focus on what you are doing when you are in the shower, shaving or drying your hair or and watch the creative ideas pour in

Free and on a thought-vacation at least for a little while,
Bonnie

My husband and I rode on a wave of  fun and relaxation during Memorial Day weekend. We marveled at how great it was. I think it’s one of the first three-day weekends we relaxed being at home and not on vacation.  We relaxed and had fun all three days. It was fantastic! So, I really wanted to share with you what we noticed afterward during our “work week”.

Although there was some irritability and anxiety  in air at my two-day contract job, I noticed that it didn’t affect me as much.  It was easier to stay light and unburdened in an uncertain working situation.  Although I stay pretty balanced, the uncertainty of what’s going on can and does affect me at times. I also noticed it was easier for me to support others to observe, without judgment, and really look at where some of the unrest was stemming from.  It was even easier to explain how to shift the focus to the appreciative side of things.

As you know, with change there can also be drama. Everyday there seemed to be something to set everyone off.  You have to admit there are times we all feed on the “drama” of a situation.  So to lighten things up a bit, I suggested we consider the idea that we’re playing a kid’s game of “gossip”.   Yes, it was much easier and more fun when we looked at what was happening in that light!  So we looked at the “rumors”  as part of the game.  The rumors  weren’t the truth (which is the Truth). When we can relax into what is going on with our own stories and opinions or with other people’s stories and opinions, we’re not coloring our world into one of negativity. Life can then take on  a more light and playful flavor.  Playing the game of gossip took the pressure and the sting out of what will happen in the future…because we truly don’t know what will happen for awhile yet.

Each day we played  “gossip” and asked each other what the latest game had for us today. We actually laughed! I felt lighter and not as tired at the end of the day. My co-workers seemed lighter also.

The tension bubble  popped.  And, letting go of  the tension is what’s important for our bodies and our minds. The truth is we don’t live in the past or the future . We know we only have the present moment. (I know at times  our minds struggle with the thought of staying in the present, being in the flow and at the same time open to the the cues that guide us to move forward.)

On the other front, my husband was noticeably lighter and more optimistic than before the weekend. He seemed more committed to certain things that had been eluding him in the past.  And I heard him whistle – a sure sign that all is well in his world.

Research tells us the importance of play and taking daily time-out on our stress levels, health, and happiness. But, I strongly suggest you do your own research.  The carryover effect is one you’ll be sure to notice. Relax into relaxing, it’s much more productive than you may think. !

So put your feet up and relax into relaxing,

Bonnie

P.S .What do you notice when you relax or take a time-out? What do you do to relax? Or how do you take some quiet time for yourself? How are you different afterward?  Post any of the answers to any of the questions and share with our readers.

Is there a connection between play and murder? There really is one; you’ll find the answer as you finish reading this blog. After another training session in Matrix Energetics where everything is considered “play” – including playing while taking in consideration conditions such as cancer and other serious aliments many people suffer from – I understood even more clearly the power of play. (During a Matrix Session they didn’t take “the condition” lightly,but the session was structured in a light and playful manner yielding amazing results.)  When your focus is light-hearted and even fun, your focus is shifted away from the problem and more “space” is created for healing. As I follow the path of how fun makes life easier, I want to share it with you. It’s a simple way to make a change in your life without having to “work” at it. My deepest desire is to support you in increasing your ability to have a life you would choose, to be happier, have life be  less chaotic and more peaceful. And, play and fun is a great place to start. (Don’t forget you will be healthier and more productive when you play). Because my clients have really experienced how The Fun Factor plays into productivity, I have been led in a direction of finding more supporting evidence on the benefits of play and fun, which is what this week’s blog is all about.

My Fun – What’s Yours?

I have found one of the things I loved as a kid and many of you may might have loved too (I know I mentioned it before) was hula hooping. Here in Florida hula hooping seems to be an up and coming new sport. Even though it may take some effort, there are great benefits from playing with a hula hoop. Who thought whirling your hips in odd directions and sometimes looking incredibly silly could increase your memory, your mood, your biceps and your core? And, it’s fun! A bit of a workout, but fun!!! I always feel energized afterward. Why is this fun to me? I love my purple and gold adult hula hoop. It reminds me of the fun I had as a child. I was good at it then. It makes me happy. I laugh. Believe it or not, creative ideas pop into my head about all kinds of things during and after I hoop. I feel good about taking care of my body. I actually think it’s a joke on me. I’m exercising but it’s fun. An oxymoron for sure for me.

For those of you who may be a “type-A personality”, keep reading. Playing and or fooling around will activate creativity and passion, transferring literally to other aspects of your life including work, how you relate to your friends, family and your marriage. According to the American Medical Association, “When you take a vacation from work — even a four-day weekend — you are more inventive, productive and healthier (fewer sick days) when you return,” says Stuart Brown, MD, a researcher for The National Institute for Play. Yes, there really is one! A pioneer in research on play, Brown says, “Humor, games, roughhousing, flirtation and fantasy are more than just fun. Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age”.

The Research

Dr. Stuart Brown’s research “shows play is not just joyful and energizing — it’s deeply involved with human development and intelligence.” I was thrilled to hear his suggestion to “explore backwards and go to the most clear, joyful image you have” in your life and remember playing, whether it’s an activity or toy, and feel the emotion. The next step is to think: how can you relate that emotion to your life now? Another aspect of what I wrote about in the F… Factor. The emotion is what you are looking for, that’s the link and the power of play.

Why, why, why play? Because it makes your life happier. You are more productive and more creative. You will find yourself with a pure and wonderful sense of wellbeing. Playing can lead you to your passions and the next step in your life. I know what you are thinking: play, sure, sure, sure. But, the bottom line is you’ll like your life more. Brown says the opposite of play is not work, it’s “depression.”

By the way, Stuart found after looking at murderers’ profiles that they were “play deprived.” More research is pointing to a child’s development being enhanced or curtailed by the opportunities to play or not.

Have a Fun Memorial Day Weekend!

Enjoy some guilt-free playing—you will enjoy your life more,

Bonnie

PS Join the fun and Post your favorite (legal) fun and play activities-the ones you enjoy yourself or the play activities you enjoy with your children or grandchildren.  Explain the activity, how you felt and if you noticed any benefit from your playtime.

PPS Do you want to know when this blog is updated? You can sign up at the box in the right column and get an email notifying you.

We all know it’s always darkest before the dawn – the world is at its most gloomy before the light can start seeping through the waves of darkness. In several faith traditions, this is the week of darkness before the light. “A week” you say? I know it feels longer than a week. I have spoken to many people who have felt that the darkness and chaos started last week (or last year or over the last several years) and I have felt the same way. Even the most grounded, successful and spiritually-trusting people have been challenged. I know this may be a turbulent time whether it’s the small dramas, the busyness of life or the ongoing bigger issues that concern you. How do you find those beams of light, take care of yourself and not drop all the balls you have in the air as you put out fires at home and work, meet everyone else’s needs and take care of your family all while staying connected and trusting? That’s a good question, and it’s one I ask myself and my clients routinely.

I want to share with you what I know can support you in connecting to the “light” this week or any busy day (or week or year) in your life. However, I hesitate to suggest this to you as I have consciously left it out of my conversations and writings as many of you may consider it a “dirty” word. Here is goes…one of the best ways you can find your way out of the dark and into the light is to meditate. Yes, I wrote it. If Oprah can use the word, I know it’s okay for me to use it, too. But I can hear you now — I don’t have time, I can’t quiet my mind, that isn’t for me — and I really understand. I started out feeling that way also.

Here’s the good news. Everyone can “meditate” because it’s easier and less time consuming than you think. It takes you out of the dark and gives you a peek of light. And, we do it all the time already — meditating is just focused attention. It’s about being open and listening and being present in the moment. I looked up the word meditation and it comes from the Indo-European root med – meaning “to measure”. Meditation has been defined as: “self regulation of attention, in the service of self-inquiry, in the here and now.”

Many simple meditation techniques ask you to focus on your breathing. Focusing on your breathing engages your left brain, keeping it from trying to figure everything out, and allowing you freedom from other thoughts. The key (coming from the Buddhist tradition) is taking your mind out of the mix even for a short time and allowing the space, “the wiggle room”, for the answers or inspiration to surface. (There’s more on wiggle room in the last blog post). So if you stop what you’re doing and focus on your breathing — you’re meditating.

Step it up by using self inquiry-questions before you start such as “I wonder how this darkness and chaos will lift?” Or “What is the most important thing for me to do next?” Or “I wonder how it would feel if I wasn’t ______.” The answers will come either now or later if you give them the chance. Just four easy steps: Stop what you are doing, take a deep breath, ask your questions and then focus on your breathing. Try this for one to three minutes — that’s all! Then notice what is different, the lightness you feel…and keep noticing. Keep noticing what’s different.

Meditation can take place during many activities, not just when you’re sitting still with your eyes closed. It can come when you are writing in a journal, as you do routine chores, or while taking a walk. Just staying in the present moment noticing with your senses what you are doing. It’s all about focusing in the moment…the moment you have right now.

I know how difficult it is to make the best choices in the midst of too much do, in the middle of chaos and drama. I would love to help you! So I encourage you to take a “meditation break” and let the best choices for you and your life come to you in the “light”.

Resources to find some light in your life

Listen to “3 Minutes of Light” Meditation in the Jacuzzi Room.

The Soothing SoundPaths™ to Serenity: The Virtual Spa™ CD (available in CD or downloadable version)

Walking Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh and Anh-Huong Nguyen

The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

One-Moment Meditation: Stillness for People on the Go by Martin Boroson

Transform Stress in 30 Days with One-Moment Meditation®
My wish for you is that you connect to the light of meditation,
Bonnie
PS Post and let us know how “meditation” helped you let in some light. Thanks for posting,when you post it really helps others on the path!

In our ever-changing, very busy world, many of us experience “high stress moments”. It may be with our children, our jobs, or our relationships. During these high stress moments what can you do? You can take a deep breath and ask yourself some questions: Am I safe right now? Am I taking responsibility for others feelings? Is what I am saying to myself or about someone else really true?

Believe it or not you can be “happy for no reason.” You can stop, take another breath and consider something different! The truth of how we feel comes from inside, not the outside!

Below are four of my favorite places for those high-stress times and moments. These four “tools” can support you in making an internal shift back to peace and happiness. Please, pass this on to your friends, co-workers and relatives. Sometimes just reading new information or taking a class can change a person’s life forever.

To relieve high-stress moments related to broken hearts, completely heal from the residuals of divorce (during or post divorce) and attract that new relationship into your life, join a webinar from the On Purpose Divorce©. Many people get through the legal aspects of divorce, adjust to a different life but never completely heal or understand the reason or true purpose of their divorce. If you are curious about the purpose of your divorce or where you are in the process, join Dr. Bob Evans and Janet Conner on May 15th for Webinar On Purpose Divorce© 360° of Healing. ( check for more classes comimg in June)http://acenterforhumanpotential.com/MayWebinar.htm

To relieve those expected, and unexpected, moments of high stress with children, you will love The Greater Good Science Center website. It’s a great site for parents interested “in raising happy and emotionally literate kids.” It’s a wonderful place for parents to find research-based ideas that work to raise resilient and competent kids. You can blog with other parents to discuss challenges, exchange positive ideas and learn new ways to interact with children. Enjoy reading the Half Full:Raising Happy Kids Blog-http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/half_full/

To relieve high-stress moments of life and to expand your happiness potential, read Marci Shimoff’s book Happy for No Reason. This book may be one of the best things you can do for yourself. In Happy for No Reason you will find compelling and heart-warming stories, research and practical ideas to be “happy for no reason.” It is easy to read and easy to do.

To release the high-stress moments of your day in less than 10 minutes, visit the free rooms in the Virtual Spa™ or become a member. You will be amazed at how taking just 10 minutes on a daily basis will reduce the frequency of high-stress moments in your life. Having this wonderful place to de-stress during the day allows you to return to work calm and focused. The spa is open 24/7 and, when you become a member, you can take the spa with you on CD or your ipod with the free-to-members downloads. www.SerenityPathways.com