Natural Path to Being You Blog

Is This You?

March 25, 2011 by Bonnie 2 Comments

Do things happen to you that seem out of your control at times? Or do you think if you work harder scheduling and trying to control how everything turns out that things will improve or challenges won’t arise? Or if you work harder at being perfect things will go more easily? I was backing out of a friend's driveway late one night, with every effort to be careful, slowly maneuvering my car to avoid the truck at the end of the driveway, only to feel the dance of my car colliding with the trailer hitch that I couldn’t see in the dark.

Would beating myself up be productive? Would blaming the people who lived in the house have helped? Would being upset because it was a busy road help? Of course not! But in thinking back, I had gotten nervous about backing out into the road when I couldn’t see the oncoming traffic. It would have more made sense to get some help from my friends inside. I realized in that brief moment my brain had gone into the stress response and my normal clear-headed thinking went out the door as I tried to pull out onto the street. We had just had a discussion about how fear really blocks us from being able to move forward!!!

In your career or business, are you aware of how stress may cause you not to see problems or ignore them even if you do see them? Or even more damaging, not to see solutions? Stress or frustration can be caused by many things. Just to name a few of the major players, there is perfectionism, constant pressure thinking you have to perform, reactions to others or a constant conflict with someone on your team.

Believe it or not we as women have ingrained wiring that can help us more easily navigate our jobs and our lives. What do women do so well that really serves them in business and in their lives? We can use both sides of our brains! Men use the linear logic to solve a problem. Women have the ability to use a more holistic processing system using both sides of their brain - the creative side to think outside the box and then the logical side to implement a solution. (Click here for more info: http://marcisegal.wordpress.com/2010/07/18/male-and-female-creativity-is-there-a-difference/)

In the last blog I wrote about what legacy you leave behind. Leave behind a legacy of solving challenges the easier way.

Wishing you creative problem solving,
Bonnie

PS One of the best ways women come up with solutions and also reduce the stress response is in talking to positive, supportive women who they respect and whose opinions they trust.

PPS If you want to follow this blog, please sign up for email blog updates. We had a dysfunction and all email addresses were lost out of our database. I apologize for your inconvenience if you have to sign up again.

Filed Under: Stress Relief Tagged With: creative problem solving, frustration, stress

What Did You Leave Behind?

March 14, 2011 by Bonnie 4 Comments

Do you remember the last time you left something behind? Most times you can go back and get whatever you left. I remember I had brief period of leaving my purse behind when I went out to dinner with my husband. Each time (there were two times in two weeks) my purse was safe and intact when I went back to get it.

However, there are times we can't go back and retrieve what we left behind. After my Mom passed on to another dimension a few weeks ago, I was amazed at what she "left behind". She lived in a large three story house with 15 acres of land -- oh yes, there was a lot of "stuff"! I was also surprised at how she had left things behind in order. That was a remarkable feat having lived there for 50 years and with so much room and accumulation of memories and treasures like pictures, books, scrapbooks, photographs, clothes (even a few I wore in college) and more. Then, add the stuff we all have in our houses, the papers, files of work-related things, financial paperwork, tax information, and for Mom the Bed and Breakfast information and supplies she had for running the B & B at the house. Up until three days before Mom left, she was still actively running her coaching and consulting business, active in church affairs, the community, the Chamber of Commerce in her town, the Education Community, and was supervising student teachers as well as had an active family and social life.

Yes, she was a busy lady! She can't come back and change what she left behind... nor would she want to. I was a bit in awe of the legacy she had left listening to stories told by my family and the countless people that came by, as well as from the many tributes that were written. It was evident that in all areas of her life she left behind a legacy of caring, love, thoughtfulness, problem solving, making a difference in people's lives, being an anchor, or being another mother or sister. Overall, just being who I knew as my Mom.

One woman talked about how my Mom's love and acceptance -- 25 years ago -- changed her life forever! This connection to Mom and being able to move through change was one of the core messages I heard and read over and over. Many stories had a common theme except the details were different. She was progressive in her thoughts about education, her faith, and how to live from her heart. She was practical yet open-minded, creative and positive whether she was teaching kindergarten, coaching, volunteering on an educational committee, or just being there for you. She loved to get people together and have fun. She was, for more people than I can count, an anchor of unconditional love including being my adopted niece's best friend. (I used to joke with Mom that she would give her few pieces of jewelry to this niece because they had become so close. How else would Mom know so much about hip hop?)

Was she perfect? All of her children -- my three brothers and I -- would be first to tell you NO! I know that she could be frustrating, but of course she was very human, as are each of us.

Believe it or not, there were many times during her life when Mom doubted that she was making a profound positive effect on others. Mom always wanted to be of service and use her gifts in everything she did. I am sure now she knows she far exceeded her expectations. I know her intentions, spirit and her faith were guiding the way.

You can't come back to change what you did with this life. But, you can choose to use your natural gifts. You can share yourself in your own authentic way with others. You can focus on joy and what makes you happy. You can choose to be supportive instead of negative. You are unique so be who you are naturally. When our human side shows up, think about how to be or do something in a way that is more graceful, positive and less energy-draining. Don't forget to forgive yourself and others.

The Legacy Mom left to us (and this is only a tiny fraction of the legacy):

4 children who have experienced her wisdom, have open hearts, and love, support each other and stay connected
9 grandchildren who have experienced her loving touch, babysitting, had fun celebrating, dancing with her, and were guided by her wise words and heart
1 great grandchild who was held close to her heart and felt her love

Just three "things" out of many Mom left behind:

"A tribute to Pat Baldauf is a testimonial to each of you who is a professional educator, concerned parent, or in some other way involved in the effort to improve how we educate people. This is because Pat Baldauf believed in people; she believed in you and in me. She represented us at our best!"

"Pat lived by the philosophy that the degree of happiness we will each experience is in direct proportion to how much of an effort we make to help others find their own happiness." Wrote a long-time educator, professional and friend.

"Pat's indomitable spirit will live on in all of us whose paths were blessed by crossing hers for however brief a time."

7 Questions: What Legacy will you leave behind?

Are you happily being yourself using your natural gifts and strengths?
In your relationships at home and at work – are you truthful to yourself and others?
What will your family and friends say about you when you leave?
What do you want people to remember about you?
Is there someplace where change is needed?
Do you value yourself from a spirit perspective, not from our loud-voiced ego place?
Are you "in service" contributing to the wellbeing of yourself, the planet and others?

It doesn't matter how old you are—You can add, change or start fresh now---

What are you leaving behind?

With love and appreciation to my mother and to you my readers,

Bonnie

Filed Under: family, Intentions, Making Connections Tagged With: connection, intention, legacy, Life's Purpose, Purpose

All Solutions are found in the Heart

February 15, 2011 by Bonnie Leave a Comment

Are you looking for a personal solution, or just ready to be different and have your life be different? Or are you stuck not knowing what direction to move in but you know you have to make a change? February is the month of the heart. And, a wonderful time to give yourself the gift of taking a few moments, being still, and going into that safe space in your heart where all the answers can be found. In the space of your heart you can connect to your inner wisdom and find solutions. There you can receive guidance and answers to your most pressing questions.

Heart Solutions

When I was asked to write a chapter for the book Live Every Day Motivated, Successful and Happy, the publisher wanted a very personal, moving story to go with my chapter Dealing with Life Stressors, Reducing Stress, Maintaining Perspective and Finding Balance. When they asked for the story, I couldn't think of a "big personal" story. I had many little stories. However, as the Divine Plan rolled out to provide me with what I needed, during the time I was in the process of writing the chapter for the book I had a big, tough situation come up that I had to figure out how to handle. I really didn't know what to do. Dissolving into a heavy waterfall of tears and at my wit's end, the only place I knew to go for comfort and guidance was into my heart. It didn't come instantly but within the next hour I knew what to do. The first guidance I was given was to do some forgiveness work. After that, it was much easier than I expected and the outcome wasn't the disaster I had thought was coming. However, it didn't work out in the way I expected. You can't go back in time but you can find answers and solutions to problems in your heart's intuitive wisdom and your connection to God, Spirit, the loving energy that created you. The answers and guidance aren't usually what and how you may expect things to be. Trust and follow your guidance. You can find a safe space in your heart to shift your energy and have the burden lifted off the dark stories your tell yourself. And the best part, you can transform yourself and your relationships when you come from a loving place in your heart.

If you are wanting to let go of something that is holding you down or ready to find the answers to the change you are wanting, below is an easy way to tap into your heart. Don't worry if emotion or tears come up, it will pass and peace will be on its way.

Heart Answers
Seven Easy Steps

Focus on your heart and remember when you felt loved or think of someone you love, (beastie companions count) or think of a situation where you were having loving moments.
Let this loving feeling fill your heart.
Then let that loving energy flow in your body. (It's a fact as you feel positive emotion when you expand your energy, you also expand your mind's ability to "see" more options and solutions).
If you have a question or are seeking a solution, rest within the loving energy of your heart. (You can use this idea to increase the flow of positive loving energy anytime.)
Ask your question within this loving energy.
Then, see... listen... write... dance... be out in nature and...
Be ready for the answers to appear.

Sending you heartfelt love and light,
Bonnie

P. S. Money... health... love and relationships...

Filed Under: Making Connections, Stress Relief, wellbeing Tagged With: guidance, inner wisdom, solutions

Are Miracles Real?

January 24, 2011 by Bonnie 2 Comments

I have always believed miracles are real. I know the more you focus on them, the more they occur. Despite seemingly bad news with my Mom this week, and a new project and launch I was working on, miracles have indeed surfaced.

I find miracles and support come from unexpected corners and in unusual ways. Sometimes… right in the face of what looks “negative”. My mission and vision for what I want to share in the world is big! When my human self stays hooked on a belief about timing or how something is going to happen, the bigger part me takes over. Thank goodness! So part of the redirection of what was planned now is the part of a miracle-shift allowing me to share with you something that would have been limited to a much smaller audience. And now I can share it with you…

But first how did this happen? As you probably know, I launched a new website and f*ree Teleclass on Wednesday night, The Mistakes Professional Women Make that Sabotage Their Success with Bobbi Gemma, a powerful business and life coach. Everything for this new site and the new offerings fell into place with such ease - it was amazing! People offered to help, spread the word and support us in so many ways. (My virtual assistant Sherra at qualityva.com, my web designer Ruth at happyandfreestudios.com, and my editing partner Kim at VA-Partner.com - who are always timely and right there to support me - were amazing and supported us in their usual expertise and also in unexpected ways to launch the Simple Elegant Success website and the teleclass.)

Then an amazing amount of challenges occurred as Bobbi and I tried to deliver the teleclass - challenges neither Bobbi nor I have ever had occur in all the many teleclasses we have done. Instead of giving up, we pursued and recorded the call although we knew something was wrong. The callers were somewhere else in cyber space. (We had everyone on mute as we had a large number of people register for the call).

The connected part of us, which comes in the form of intuition, guided us to move forward and not give up or be upset. We both knew there was too much ease in the beginning for this not to be part of a bigger plan. Although I know we both were worried about not delivering what we had promised, We were able to contact everyone. The most wonderful news is that timelines were moved, more gifts came forth, and the best gift is that we can share the recording with all of you instead of just a few. SimpleElegantSuccess.com ( Our registrants for the teleclass are in for a surprise gift besides the audio and powerful next steps Gift and Tip Reminder Sheet to keep you on your path)

Bobbi and I are both passionate about getting the message out to inspire and give women practical steps to stop sacrificing themselves, their health, and their relationships. Bobbi did some amazing research which we concluded was another piece of evidence close to us that validated what we said on the call.

Since the call, more positives have come from this technological challenge. I expect we will be happily surprised about more positive things as Simple Elegant Success.com moves forward. A Divine force knew that our vision needed to be put out in a different, more expanded manner. Our belief that it had to happen in our time and in a certain way wasn't the best way, so divine intervention came in an unexpected way and changed everything.

Please invest in yourself by listening to the recording The Three Mistakes Professional Women Make to Sabotage Their Success at www.SimpleElegantSuccess.com.

We want to support you on this journey, at the end we give you the information to to get a f*ree gift and the next steps we created to support you on your way.

Watch for miracles,

Bonnie

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: release stress

Is One of Your Family Members Masquerading As You in Your Work or Business?

January 10, 2011 by Bonnie 2 Comments

This year already seems to be bright and shiny - and a great time to a make shift toward creating a better life at home and at work. As one of my friends said: no matter how positive this year seems, we can't have a new life if we are sitting in some "toxic waste". So the thought that popped up for me was - is one of your family members masquerading as you or one of your team members at work? Interesting thought, isn't it? Consider the toxic relationships you had last year in your work life. Wouldn't you like to resolve some of those challenges? The freshness of the New Year is a perfect time to look at what patterns and hidden factors may be affecting your business's productivity. We often forget that when we are in our "work clothes" (that could be PJs for someone in a home office), we bring ourselves and our families to our work, our business team and our clients. You're probably saying, of course we bring ourselves, but how did our families get in there? What you may forget is that you're a complex being. You bring to work your conscious thoughts of what you want, your gifts and strengths, your bias's or openness and your values. Hidden are the patterns and baggage you bring from your family, as well as your past work relationships, which are interwoven into the fabric of who you are. All of that affects you at work!

Many times we are aware of the challenges and patterns but we don't make changes. It could be because we are afraid it will cost us money or a valuable employee, or what we need to do will hurt someone's feelings. Or we just don't want to take the time to resolve an issue because we're worried over what will unravel as a result. I know I had all those feelings about an associate who had been a valued team member with many positive contributions. However, when the relationship and productivity became problematic, what surfaced was my "ingrained family pattern" of putting other people's needs before mine. I was also secretly afraid that I wouldn't be able to replace them with someone just as talented. Although not productive at times, this team member and I had our dance routine so we were good together, yet dysfunctional partners. I know that may sound silly but that was part of the problem. The bottom line is that it cost both of us. For me it cost me time and money.

Is there a person on "your team" who seems to take a lot of your time or they're not as productive as you would like? Or is there someone who is productive but there always seems to be drama surrounding them? This can be an employee or someone you hired as a consultant, web designer, etc. Most of the female professionals I coach voice concerns about someone on their team. Once we looked a little closer, they found a person in their biological family triggered the same reactions that a team member triggered. Believe it or not, many times that team member is mirroring emotions from unresolved or difficult family relationships!

In this New Year, what would be a first step to make sure no one is "hiding in your business clothes"? First, resolve to focus on what's working, because there are positive patterns and policies that are working for you. Make it a calendar activity to take stock weekly or monthly on what's working. Where else can you strengthen or replicate what's already working? Where are the challenges? Where are the hidden masqueraders? In the quiet, ask who is coming to work with you, masquerading as you, or who is mirroring someone in your family? Just being able to recognize the cause is the second step. You then are on you way to "resolving"!

No costumes, no masquerades- just be you at your best,
Bonnie

Filed Under: family, wellbeing, work life balance Tagged With: challenges, dysfunctional, relationship, work

Are you ready to create an easier 2011?

December 29, 2010 by Bonnie Leave a Comment

Are you ready to create an easier 2011?

I know this holiday season -- for my clients, friends and me -- was a bit more infused with business-related projects to finish or to seed before the end of the year. And that was in addition to the preparations for the holidays! It would have been so easy to get caught in old habits, and I don’t know about you but I had to really keep my focus on how I wanted to feel this holiday and not missing any of the special moments. When I stopped and focused on what were the most important things to do each day, and stayed in the present, everything moved more smoothly for me. So I couldn’t let the year slip away without posting a few thoughts.

I know one of the important lessons I am bringing into 2011 is to continue to trust the flow of "give and take" and not resist the change of events that occur quite frequently. By moving and flowing with what’s working, rather than what I think “should” happen -- even if plans are disrupted -- I find that everything works out in the end. You may have days that what you had planned for didn’t happen. Yet if you didn’t try to force it the way you thought it should go, things worked out and you were supported in ways you didn’t expect. One day before Christmas nothing on my list got done. Three people unexpectedly asked for my help and they weren’t on my “to do list”. The very next day it all turned around, everything got done and I was blessed with unexpected gifts.

As we reach the end of the year, what are you envisioning, resolving and intending for in the New Year? I know this is a great time to take some quiet time, meditate or write in a journal and ask yourself a few questions to get ready. The answers you receive can be the seeds to what could really flourish for you in 2011. If you feel like you have done a lot of the clean-up, rebirthing and are ready to shine your gifts into the world, then now is a great time to really design your life in a way that cycles back to you more abundance, fun and joy in the new year.

Here are some questions to direct the flow of what you want in your life for 2011:

• Where am I now…. in my work and relationships?
• What is working in my life? What can I celebrate?
• What isn’t working? What steps can I take to change those situations?
• What intentions can I make?
• Where do I see myself at the end of next year?

I am a firm believer in keeping this information close by. When you check in with your intentions and goals, you keep them alive, active and moving in the direction you want. Some people create boards with images, write in journals, or make Mandalas, while others write affirmations to keep them moving forward. What I know is that visioning yourself where you want to be and how you want to feel, is a critical step. Writing down what you want to create or putting it in pictorial form is important and plays a major role in shifting your energy to what and where you want to be. The piece I know I didn’t do years ago was check in and see where I was in the process -- but now I know how important that is! I really want you to achieve your dreams, so I encourage you to check in with what you are wanting on a regular basis. Create a system that connects you to the "new you of 2011".

This past year many have spent “cleaning out” and this next year will be about connecting more deeply to your gifts, your relationships and your dreams!

Wishing you an even more deeply fulfilling and joyful New Year,
Bonnie

PS Would you like to be supported in creating a less stressful, easier and more fulfilling 2011? If you said yes, I would like to invite you to look for the opening of the Purpose Journey, an online community I am involved in that will support you in getting Centered, Inspired and Moving Forward in your life. The second exciting new offering to look for is How to Live a Simply Elegant Successful Life starting in January. I am very excited to be able to be a part of both of these and offer you new and exciting ways to help you create the life you want with purpose, without guilt, and with ease!

Filed Under: family, health, Heart Health, Intentions, Stress Relief, work life balance

Not in the Holiday Mood? It doesn’t have to be that way!

December 8, 2010 by Bonnie Leave a Comment

Not in the Holiday Mood? Would you rather just hibernate? It doesn't have to be that way!

If you're like most women during the holidays, you're thinking "I have so much to do and I feel tired just thinking about it." The mountain of expectations and gifts to buy starts to pile up and your workload hasn't gotten any smaller. You aren't alone.

If you're finding during the holidays you're not having much fun, chances are:

You're trying to meet unrealistic expectations set by you or someone else.
You want things to be PERFECT.
You're focused on what's wrong instead of what's right.
You've said Yes to too many things, instead of only saying Yes to what you truly want to do.
You haven't taken time for you.

There is a better way...

Consider this: the mantra we so often hear, "tis the season to be jolly," uses the verb to be. This is a simple reminder for all Superwomen to pause and to BE instead of to DO. We don't hear "tis the season to do lots and get stressed." Being jolly and joyful comes from the inside of your being not from the doing. You can find the "perfect" gift or not but if you wore yourself in the process, you've missed out on the joy of being there for the moments together.

Being... easier said than done! So how can you be when you have so much to do? How can you tap into that joy inside? Your joy and being is always with you. Just think of the last time you were in a stressed-out frenzy and then, bumped into a treasured friend. At the sight of a loved one, all that stress melts away to reveal the joy inside. Joy is always available to you.

I used to spend the holidays stressed out and buzzing around, only to regret that I'd been too busy to enjoy the quality time with my family. Now, I easily enjoy a beautiful holiday, am more productive at work than ever and feel like I'm playing through the holidays. It's because I discovered the secret to tapping into the power of my being.

Because I am dedicated to helping women and want you to enjoy your holidays this year, I'm gifting the first 5 women who reply to this note with "Gift" in the subject line with a one-on-one session (value $195). To dissolve your holiday problems and learn my Power of Being (Heart-centered moment, call it whatever you want, JOY centering) secret, be one of the five and learn how to tap into your joy at any moment, no matter how busy.

Here is one of my simple ways to find, be and feel the joy...

Suggestion: Choose 1 of these and write it out in a step by step format. I suggest that you use the Shopping tip.

Step one: Before heading out to go shopping sit down and take three deep breaths, set an intention that

"With confidence and clarity I find the perfect gifts easily and quickly."

Step two: Hold the thoughts of the person or what you are looking for in your mind

"As you shop focus on the sights and sounds and know what you are looking for will show up".

Step three: Take a deep breath and celebrate

"Celebration can be a joyful gratitude or stopping (or making) a warm tea, hot cocoa or your favorite coffee."

Learn more about how to tap into your joy whenever you want, wherever you want.

My gift to you, "Joy-centering, Heart-centered holiday, (call it what you want)" Coaching session. For the first 5 people who email (address) with GIFT in the subject line, I will give you a $195 coaching session as a gift (yes, that is no cost to you)! If you've read through to here, you are ready. Say yes, to this opportunity now, by emailing immediately.

Wishing you all the joy being and inspired doing,

Bonnie

Filed Under: Stress Relief, wellbeing Tagged With: enjoy, holiday, stress

Finding the Blessing Seeds

November 16, 2010 by Bonnie Leave a Comment

As I entered a national chain store just the other day, Christmas music greeted my ears -- already? What about Thanksgiving?! Our ancestors used Thanksgiving Day as a remembrance of all the blessings of the year. It was a time to plant "seeds" with their gratitude for an abundant harvest for the coming year. Are we missing something? I think so. It's easy to forget that fall is a "harvesting" time. An important season you may overlook and I don't believe you should.

Fall Harvest

My brother always talks about the "fall turning" -- the invisible shifts that are taking place and the foundation for what is in store for the upcoming year. And I remember growing up that for the month before Christmas, as preparation for the new year, we celebrated a season called Advent. We lit a candle each week and focused on joy, love, peace and hope. Most importantly, we looked at ourselves... what could we celebrate and what did we need to change to have a more open and loving heart? What could we do to renew our self to be open to the light? (Of course, in Christianity this is in preparation for the coming of the light of Christ.)

December Darkness into Light

In perfect timing to my thoughts about all this, Janet Conner, friend and author, wrote in her recent ezine that December heralds many celebrations of light as she says so eloquently, "It is the natural culmination of the earth's life cycle. Solstice (this year December 21st) marks the longest night of the year, the entrance into death and darkness. And in the cold and the dark, the seed of life is born again. The earth does continue to spin, and as humanity applauds, the sun does indeed rise again to renew the cycle of the seasons.

Harvesting, Seeding and Blessings

As I write this today, I wonder what would happen ... if you started today in preparation for next year by looking for, acknowledging and sharing all the things you are grateful for? If you spent time reflecting upon this past year and focusing on something you created that brought you joy? Or an event that happened which was a part of a larger picture of success for the year? If you went deeper and found gratitude for the times that were tough but ultimately turned out to be a blessing in disguise? If you just savored the smells and sights of the season or that special moment with a friend or family member? What if each day you said a blessing for something in the midst of this busy season, instead of our usual focus on brief moments out of the tiredness, frustration and overwhelm?

I know what would happen! You would be overflowing with gratitude and appreciation and joy, and planting those fertile seeds to bless the upcoming year.

Finding the blessing seeds that grow in the new year,

Bonnie

P.S. Keep a journal or a list of your blessings and gratitudes. You'll be amazed how this is the key to creating more of what you want for the new year. Although at times it's tough and you may feel like you've been working at it for awhile (but it will get easier) remember that these blessings and gratitudes are the seeds for change, and seeds need time to grow. Sometimes change is already in the process of happening and we simply aren't aware of it. This practice keeps the progression moving. I know I felt like I have been doing this all year. But I know that continuing to look at my blessings and asking for new perspectives will shape the new year in a wonderful way. Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful to each of you, my readers! Post any thoughts, insights or miracles that come to your awareness.

Filed Under: wellbeing Tagged With: appreciation, blessings, christmas, gratitude, harvest, joy, new year, thanksgiving

Reconnecting with Comfort

November 1, 2010 by Bonnie Leave a Comment

When was the last time you felt a sense of comfort? I remember exactly the last time I felt it. The world was tipping upside down when my Mom was ill, and my dear husband took me out to dinner… and all I wanted was a grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes. Comfort food for sure! It reconnected me to wonderful memories of going out to lunch with my Mom and even though the sandwich didn't last long, the feeling did.

Once I felt better and more connected again, I silently went through a list of what I was grateful for in my life. This helped stop my world from spinning out of control and the next day I felt much calmer. In the chaos of whatever drama is going on in my life, I always find that gratitude balances and shows us the way. But remember, that doesn't mean I don't honor my upset feelings -- it just helps me move past them.

Today is the first day of November and as we move deeper into fall and the chaos the holidays bring, try reconnecting with something that fills your "comfort zone". For those of you who think there's no time for this: if you want to be healthy, able to work, take care of your family, and feel any sense of peace -- finding comfort and being grateful is vital. Your emotional and physical health determine how well you can focus on what you have to do at home and at work and also how you relate to your family

When life is so busy and there are so many challenges and you find yourself saying, "What am I going to do?" don't make any major decisions! First you just need to create a little space for yourself, reconnect to some comfort, and find what you can be grateful for. You will be amazed at the miracles you create!

If you feel "all out of comfort", visit Comfort Queen at www.comfortqueen.com. Peek through the store -- there are lots of comforting ideas to get you started.

Post and let us know what gives you comfort and helps you be grateful for what you have.

Bonnie

PS Just to clarify…I'm not talking about those comforts that we feel guilty about later! I mean the comforts that help you feel uplifted and connected.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” — author Melodie Beattie

Filed Under: anxiety, family, health, Intentions, Making Connections, Stress Relief, work life balance, worry Tagged With: comfort, grateful, gratitude balances, reconnecting

Wipe Out or Magic

October 22, 2010 by Bonnie 2 Comments

"While we think we're rolling with things in our everyday lives, most of us at some level are being resistant; swimming against the current. No matter how much we outwardly acknowledge change, and occasionally create that change ourselves, internally we're still looking for stability. We want things, if not exactly the way they were, at least similar. We want something solid under our feet." writes Bobbi Gemma, Executive Coach and Life Architect*.

*(to read the entire article and get more ideas go to www.bobbigemma.LinktoEXPERT.com, visit Bobbi at www.thegemmagroup.com)

In the last ezine and blog I wrote about the first steps of letting go and not holding on -- and it doesn't matter what we are holding onto. Our lives really depend on letting go. Just stopping, breathing and taking in what's good while appreciating what is around you right now is the first step. I know from my friends, clients and my own experience that many of us think we are moving well with change as Bobbi writes above. Many of us have made changes and moved in a new direction only to find that it wasn't moving to the full potential we wanted or finding there were still areas that needed to be changed or let go. When that happens, the money and hope invested seem wasted. We feel knocked down, pulled under the wave, struggling to get the salt water out of our lungs, mouth and nose. We wonder where we went wrong and dread thoughts of more change in our future. It may be what's going on around you or it may be something you thought didn't have the power to pull you under once again, but it did.

As I was recently in that place of change, positioning a much-needed transformation and new development in my business, I was surprised by the wave that washed over me and pulled me down. (I think I even received some scratches from the sand on the floor of the ocean!)

After being upset for awhile (yes, I got upset), I permitted my mind and body to really let it go, allowing myself to step back before I made more changes. As I did, a new reflection occurred to me. Successful people know that even when there is no solid ground, it's really about being resilient and bouncing back. Being able to ride the waves with a new angle and different balance is the key, although not always an easy task. Have you ever watched good surfers? They look like they are one with the waves even though there isn't any solid ground below them. Surfers know the only solid ground is within themselves. They hold on with their inner confidence and trust their bodies to balance so they can ride the waves effortlessly.

After talking to a family member and a client, both of whom had been hit by the same big wave, they both decided the best thing they could do was to continue moving in a new direction. Things that used to work, but weren't working now, needed to be discarded. Sometimes even the new ideas that had been implemented weren't enough. It was after these conversations that I realized there was a healing triangle at work here! It wasn't the dysfunctional triangulating pattern I remember from my time doing counseling where you never got out of the dysfunctional patterns and relationships unless you "stepped off" -- which was very difficult to do. In this healing triangle you can move around the three sides. You'll find yourself being able to let go of being sacrificed to enjoying success...back into moving with grace on those waves.

Next time you feel pulled under the waves and not able to catch your breath or feeling the earth solid under your feet...here are two steps to catch your breath!

Draw a triangle. On one side write "new direction", on another side write "step back", and the third -- which may be hardest for most of us -- write "play".
Get up and move. Shake your body, dance, jump up and down, and then sit down and breathe deeply. This helps your mind to relax and your brain able to see more options. Then ask yourself, "Which of these is the best for me right now?" Don't resist and don't force anything. The more you struggle and try to fight the waves, the quicker you lose your energy.

If you don't move, you won't bounce back up and you won't be able to ride the wave. But if you choose one side of the triangle and really do it, you will fall into the center of the triangle and find a place of golden light and the energy of resiliency. Yes, I am on my way to the light and of being more fluid! I realized my way to stay more fluid was to do what I didn't think I could do, felt guilty about doing, afraid of doing for financial reasons but I'm doing it anyway -- play. It's really a combination of all three sides of my triangle, a new direction, stepping back and playing. And just for a few weeks. Guess what? Almost immediately what I was struggling with started to shift.

freedom triangle You'll find all three -- new direction, step back and play -- are really connected and all three sides of the triangle will materialize into your success. Just start with one side and the rest will follow. They're all connected. Find the magic of this simple yet powerful triangle and use it as a "surf board" to allow you to ride the waves of change.

Find the magic of the triangle- ride the waves,

Bonnie

PS You don't have to be on the bottom eating sand. Try this as you feel things start to move beneath your feet. Post and let us know how the magic of the triangle helped you surf the waves of change in your life.

Filed Under: Stress Relief, wellbeing Tagged With: life balance, resilient, transformation

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