“While we think we’re rolling with things in our everyday lives, most of us at some level are being resistant; swimming against the current. No matter how much we outwardly acknowledge change, and occasionally create that change ourselves, internally we’re still looking for stability. We want things, if not exactly the way they were, at least similar. We want something solid under our feet.” writes Bobbi Gemma, Executive Coach and Life Architect*.
*(to read the entire article and get more ideas go to www.bobbigemma.LinktoEXPERT.com, visit Bobbi at www.thegemmagroup.com)
In the last ezine and blog I wrote about the first steps of letting go and not holding on — and it doesn’t matter what we are holding onto. Our lives really depend on letting go. Just stopping, breathing and taking in what’s good while appreciating what is around you right now is the first step. I know from my friends, clients and my own experience that many of us think we are moving well with change as Bobbi writes above. Many of us have made changes and moved in a new direction only to find that it wasn’t moving to the full potential we wanted or finding there were still areas that needed to be changed or let go. When that happens, the money and hope invested seem wasted. We feel knocked down, pulled under the wave, struggling to get the salt water out of our lungs, mouth and nose. We wonder where we went wrong and dread thoughts of more change in our future. It may be what’s going on around you or it may be something you thought didn’t have the power to pull you under once again, but it did.
As I was recently in that place of change, positioning a much-needed transformation and new development in my business, I was surprised by the wave that washed over me and pulled me down. (I think I even received some scratches from the sand on the floor of the ocean!)
After being upset for awhile (yes, I got upset), I permitted my mind and body to really let it go, allowing myself to step back before I made more changes. As I did, a new reflection occurred to me. Successful people know that even when there is no solid ground, it’s really about being resilient and bouncing back. Being able to ride the waves with a new angle and different balance is the key, although not always an easy task. Have you ever watched good surfers? They look like they are one with the waves even though there isn’t any solid ground below them. Surfers know the only solid ground is within themselves. They hold on with their inner confidence and trust their bodies to balance so they can ride the waves effortlessly.
After talking to a family member and a client, both of whom had been hit by the same big wave, they both decided the best thing they could do was to continue moving in a new direction. Things that used to work, but weren’t working now, needed to be discarded. Sometimes even the new ideas that had been implemented weren’t enough. It was after these conversations that I realized there was a healing triangle at work here! It wasn’t the dysfunctional triangulating pattern I remember from my time doing counseling where you never got out of the dysfunctional patterns and relationships unless you “stepped off” — which was very difficult to do. In this healing triangle you can move around the three sides. You’ll find yourself being able to let go of being sacrificed to enjoying success…back into moving with grace on those waves.
Next time you feel pulled under the waves and not able to catch your breath or feeling the earth solid under your feet…here are two steps to catch your breath!
- Draw a triangle. On one side write “new direction”, on another side write “step back”, and the third — which may be hardest for most of us — write “play”.
- Get up and move. Shake your body, dance, jump up and down, and then sit down and breathe deeply. This helps your mind to relax and your brain able to see more options. Then ask yourself, “Which of these is the best for me right now?” Don’t resist and don’t force anything. The more you struggle and try to fight the waves, the quicker you lose your energy.
If you don’t move, you won’t bounce back up and you won’t be able to ride the wave. But if you choose one side of the triangle and really do it, you will fall into the center of the triangle and find a place of golden light and the energy of resiliency. Yes, I am on my way to the light and of being more fluid! I realized my way to stay more fluid was to do what I didn’t think I could do, felt guilty about doing, afraid of doing for financial reasons but I’m doing it anyway — play. It’s really a combination of all three sides of my triangle, a new direction, stepping back and playing. And just for a few weeks. Guess what? Almost immediately what I was struggling with started to shift.
You’ll find all three — new direction, step back and play — are really connected and all three sides of the triangle will materialize into your success. Just start with one side and the rest will follow. They’re all connected. Find the magic of this simple yet powerful triangle and use it as a “surf board” to allow you to ride the waves of change.
Find the magic of the triangle- ride the waves,
Bonnie
PS You don’t have to be on the bottom eating sand. Try this as you feel things start to move beneath your feet. Post and let us know how the magic of the triangle helped you surf the waves of change in your life.