Do you remember the last time you left something behind? Most times you can go back and get whatever you left. I remember I had brief period of leaving my purse behind when I went out to dinner with my husband. Each time (there were two times in two weeks) my purse was safe and intact when I went back to get it.
However, there are times we can’t go back and retrieve what we left behind. After my Mom passed on to another dimension a few weeks ago, I was amazed at what she “left behind”. She lived in a large three story house with 15 acres of land — oh yes, there was a lot of “stuff”! I was also surprised at how she had left things behind in order. That was a remarkable feat having lived there for 50 years and with so much room and accumulation of memories and treasures like pictures, books, scrapbooks, photographs, clothes (even a few I wore in college) and more. Then, add the stuff we all have in our houses, the papers, files of work-related things, financial paperwork, tax information, and for Mom the Bed and Breakfast information and supplies she had for running the B & B at the house. Up until three days before Mom left, she was still actively running her coaching and consulting business, active in church affairs, the community, the Chamber of Commerce in her town, the Education Community, and was supervising student teachers as well as had an active family and social life.
Yes, she was a busy lady! She can’t come back and change what she left behind… nor would she want to. I was a bit in awe of the legacy she had left listening to stories told by my family and the countless people that came by, as well as from the many tributes that were written. It was evident that in all areas of her life she left behind a legacy of caring, love, thoughtfulness, problem solving, making a difference in people’s lives, being an anchor, or being another mother or sister. Overall, just being who I knew as my Mom.
One woman talked about how my Mom’s love and acceptance — 25 years ago — changed her life forever! This connection to Mom and being able to move through change was one of the core messages I heard and read over and over. Many stories had a common theme except the details were different. She was progressive in her thoughts about education, her faith, and how to live from her heart. She was practical yet open-minded, creative and positive whether she was teaching kindergarten, coaching, volunteering on an educational committee, or just being there for you. She loved to get people together and have fun. She was, for more people than I can count, an anchor of unconditional love including being my adopted niece’s best friend. (I used to joke with Mom that she would give her few pieces of jewelry to this niece because they had become so close. How else would Mom know so much about hip hop?)
Was she perfect? All of her children — my three brothers and I — would be first to tell you NO! I know that she could be frustrating, but of course she was very human, as are each of us.
Believe it or not, there were many times during her life when Mom doubted that she was making a profound positive effect on others. Mom always wanted to be of service and use her gifts in everything she did. I am sure now she knows she far exceeded her expectations. I know her intentions, spirit and her faith were guiding the way.
You can’t come back to change what you did with this life. But, you can choose to use your natural gifts. You can share yourself in your own authentic way with others. You can focus on joy and what makes you happy. You can choose to be supportive instead of negative. You are unique so be who you are naturally. When our human side shows up, think about how to be or do something in a way that is more graceful, positive and less energy-draining. Don’t forget to forgive yourself and others.
The Legacy Mom left to us (and this is only a tiny fraction of the legacy):
- 4 children who have experienced her wisdom, have open hearts, and love, support each other and stay connected
- 9 grandchildren who have experienced her loving touch, babysitting, had fun celebrating, dancing with her, and were guided by her wise words and heart
- 1 great grandchild who was held close to her heart and felt her love
Just three “things” out of many Mom left behind:
“A tribute to Pat Baldauf is a testimonial to each of you who is a professional educator, concerned parent, or in some other way involved in the effort to improve how we educate people. This is because Pat Baldauf believed in people; she believed in you and in me. She represented us at our best!”
“Pat lived by the philosophy that the degree of happiness we will each experience is in direct proportion to how much of an effort we make to help others find their own happiness.” Wrote a long-time educator, professional and friend.
“Pat’s indomitable spirit will live on in all of us whose paths were blessed by crossing hers for however brief a time.”
7 Questions: What Legacy will you leave behind?
- Are you happily being yourself using your natural gifts and strengths?
- In your relationships at home and at work – are you truthful to yourself and others?
- What will your family and friends say about you when you leave?
- What do you want people to remember about you?
- Is there someplace where change is needed?
- Do you value yourself from a spirit perspective, not from our loud-voiced ego place?
- Are you “in service” contributing to the wellbeing of yourself, the planet and others?
It doesn’t matter how old you are—You can add, change or start fresh now—
What are you leaving behind?
With love and appreciation to my mother and to you my readers,
Bonnie
Bonnie,
What a beautiful testimonial of your mother’s legacy, her mission and purpose so clearly defined. She graciously gave in abundance. Her splendor, her radiant beauty is so clearly described in your passage. She was able to express her care and love for others and support many in various ways, she is an extraordinary woman. You and others were so blessed to have received her magnificent gifts of love. After reading your heartfelt words I have a greater understanding of who you are. Your mother held a mirror up to you and in her reflection she shone a light, lighting a pathway for you to walk in your own beauty. You are a beautiful soul! I send you my heartfelt emotions, my care and a huge hug! Thank you for sharing your emotions and feelings. Love ~ Caryl
Dear Caryl,
Thank you for your beautiful comment. I, as her daughter and we as the rest of my family, friends and her friends and professionals were blessed by her. So much more than I know she realized. I think Mom and I both agree we each want to look for our own gifts and where do we “see” them mirrored back. It is so easy to fall into how we don’t measure up or to compare ourselves or beat up on ourselves for our humanness. I hope the blog inspires others to see what are they going to leave behind. Release in whatever way they can to live here now more happily and leave behind the legacy they would want.
With much appreciation for who you are,
Bonnie
Dearest Bonnie ~
I am sorry for the earthly loss of your mother and, feel profoundly blessed by your beautiful words here. What a lovely legacy she has left, and thank you for the gentle nudges to inspire us to look at what we give that will be left behind. We say that “there are no words” when someone passes from this life, but when my father passed, people said amazingly beautiful things to me that I love to pass on when it feels good, like now … You have the best of your mother in you! She continues to live through you (to all of us, Bonnie, this is obvious!). I am quite sure, that from where she sees you now, she is very proud and of course, smiling.
Take care of beautiful you, and remember how very much you are loved. xo Diane
Thank you for sharing your love and your testimony for your mother. I felt the love you have for her and that she also had for you in your writings. I also lost my Dad to Alzheimers, that horrible thief that steals memories and experiences, and truly felt blessed by your words. I think the most difficult thing was learning to understand him as he mentally declined and walked the treacherous paths in losing his memories. He was always loved and sometimes, the things he would do and say were very funny and made us laugh. I am happy to say my mother is still living and very happily, I might add, at 88 years. I feel very blessed and will remember your many thought provoking words as I deal with some of the issues that face her in her elder years. Yes, we are very blessed to have had such wonderful parents.