Do things happen to you that seem out of your control at times? Or do you think if you work harder scheduling and trying to control how everything turns out that things will improve or challenges won’t arise? Or if you work harder at being perfect things will go more easily? I was backing out of a friend’s driveway late one night, with every effort to be careful, slowly maneuvering my car to avoid the truck at the end of the driveway, only to feel the dance of my car colliding with the trailer hitch that I couldn’t see in the dark.
Would beating myself up be productive? Would blaming the people who lived in the house have helped? Would being upset because it was a busy road help? Of course not! But in thinking back, I had gotten nervous about backing out into the road when I couldn’t see the oncoming traffic. It would have more made sense to get some help from my friends inside. I realized in that brief moment my brain had gone into the stress response and my normal clear-headed thinking went out the door as I tried to pull out onto the street. We had just had a discussion about how fear really blocks us from being able to move forward!!!
In your career or business, are you aware of how stress may cause you not to see problems or ignore them even if you do see them? Or even more damaging, not to see solutions? Stress or frustration can be caused by many things. Just to name a few of the major players, there is perfectionism, constant pressure thinking you have to perform, reactions to others or a constant conflict with someone on your team.
Believe it or not we as women have ingrained wiring that can help us more easily navigate our jobs and our lives. What do women do so well that really serves them in business and in their lives? We can use both sides of our brains! Men use the linear logic to solve a problem. Women have the ability to use a more holistic processing system using both sides of their brain – the creative side to think outside the box and then the logical side to implement a solution. (Click here for more info: http://marcisegal.wordpress.com/2010/07/18/male-and-female-creativity-is-there-a-difference/)
In the last blog I wrote about what legacy you leave behind. Leave behind a legacy of solving challenges the easier way.
Wishing you creative problem solving,
Bonnie
PS One of the best ways women come up with solutions and also reduce the stress response is in talking to positive, supportive women who they respect and whose opinions they trust.
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Hi Bonnie,
I love your blog and I can totally relate to it! I admit that I can be hard to myself especially when I haven’t done something right. I am also constantly pressured with the idea that I have to perform and exert more effort in everything that I do.
And when faced with all the stress, I just shut myself out from the world and finally I am okay again. I guess people have different ways on how to handle pressure and stress and I believe that the best way to overcome it is by creating some attainable solutions to our problems.
Keep posting these type of blogs Bonnie. It sure is a life-saver!
Thank for your positive comments and sharing Daryl,
Interestingly enough everyone, including men, benefit from creating a supportive network of people. Connecting with people finding things that are fun and you feel happy are important. Shutting yourself off has it’s benefits for a short time but then it’s time to come out and “play” again.
Here’s to finding attainable solutions in with a least one other mind,
Bonnie