What can you do to feel better in a world filled with uncertainty, worry and fear? Should you try to anticipate what the fallout may be and “fix” things? Or are you worrying and second guessing what to do next?
There seems to be heart-wrenching circumstances and losses around every corner for many. I‘m watching a lot of endings: physical death, health issues, end of partnerships–both personal and professional–as well as continual change from “what was.” In the past I would worry, try to make it better…. hold on as tight as I could in hopes that maybe I could control the outcome. Oh, silly me!
The Unburdening of the Load
A very close friend of mine, Sam, participated in a letting go process that has taken a lifetime. As his mother passed on this week, my friend experienced a sense of unburdening, freedom and joy …and …..love. Sound strange?
…….Why?……Because Sam had been holding on to his frustration and anger from what he didn’t get from his mom as a child and adult. His mother had been struggling with a chronic disease (for over 26 years) and had a difficult life before that. Her chronic disease had financial repercussions and placed a strain on Sam’s families’ budget over the years.
A few weeks ago, Sam finally “broke down” and told his Mom he loved her. He let go of what he didn’t get from her. He accepted her as she was and simply appreciated her for being his mother–not for what she did or didn’t do but simply for being his mother. Sam was then able to have compassion for how hard her life had been from the time he was a young child. In his words “it was a big deal” to tell his mom he loved her, but the rewards were big. As Sam’s mother transitioned, he felt joy for her. He felt she was now in a place with no pain and filled with peace. And for himself, Sam said he felt freed from the constriction of debilitating anger and was joyful his mother was released from her physical and emotional bonds.
Since that day, Sam has described several experiences of being in the presence of another person’s unconditional love, centeredness, and peace. Sam said these experiences (and he grimaced) were “sweet”. You would never imagine this left-brained, analytical male (even though he has a big heart) using the words “sweet” to describe anything. But, you know what he’s talking about and how, in those moments, you just feel really good. You feel peace and joy despite what is happening around you. You know the experience……the sweetness of a delicious meal, the sweetness of a moment with a child or your loved one, or just the sweetness of a moment. I love my friend but he’s a skeptic, a left-brain thinker, a “how do they prove it?” kind of a person. So this is big. How was Sam able to experience the gift of loving “energy” available to us 24/7?
First, he let go of his anger. Then he accepted what was and found the gift hidden in a tough, tough situation. Then, he was in appreciation. Last, he is now stopping to breathe in the moment, and see what comes…….next. Imagine this Sam said to me “the more I let go, the better it gets”. Thanks, Sam you are an inspiration to all of us (and not even a womanJ)!
So, today, find a moment…. Breathe…. focus on that worry or what you think you need to fix. Find a place of acceptance and then just focus on appreciation. Research has shown that the better you feel, the better your brain functions and, the bigger bonus, the healthier and happier you will be. Not only will life be easier but more will come for you when you are in appreciation. This is a good place to be in this month of Thanksgiving.
In this unsettling time let the light of fun, love and appreciation be your guide,
Bonnie
P.S. You will “see” more choices and options with open eyes and an open heart.
Bonnie and Serenity spirits!
Again, such a lovely article and so inspiring. I can use this myself right now, and on this blissful Sunday morning have chosen letting go and appreciation to be my guides…surely love and even fun can come from that! Thank you for this Sunday morning gift!